then i just have Digestive biscuit as my breakfast.
somehow i faced some difficulties when the hostel's internet connection couldn't be established.
after some moment, i was able to connect afetr spend some time in the setting because need to select the "Renew 3 month package for free" in the Ask4 Login for my account selection option.
during the moment when i first login to my FB account, i just feel sad and totally demotivated for the study preparation of E-Business Management final examination that is going to start in a few hour soon after saw the message that i received as shown below. (original without edit other than the name being deleted)
anyways, i just replied him that "Wahsai, early early morning wake up see such msg really damn sad, somore is before ebm exam, can wait till after the exam only say this mah... speechless.. By the way, i need the note back to study..." in the social networking sites because i don't really want to spend time look through early in the morning.
after some moment when i going out to take my note that i borrowed him yesterday, i just saw the notes was inserted below of the door after saw the whole conversation as shown picture below.
frankly speaking, my nature instinct would just make me to think more even if its nonsense such as would this be the "God challenge test" for me to face it or because of "killing the crab" few day ago that resulted me to have such KARMA because you can't really know how Karma will harm you.
if you're me, would you still have the mood to sit for the test after being scolded 24's of FB message notification early in the morning?
somehow i just spend about 1 hour study after thinking so much about the matter and make a move from hostel's room around 8.40am to the Sheffield Hallam University main building.
well, i was quite nervous at the outside of the Sheffield Hallam Hall, Level 6, Owen Building because it was my first time to take the exam as shown below.
however, there was a quite a "weird culture" after writing the surname as we can use either our "saliva" with our finger or take some water from the bottle to seal the dry glue that we wrote the name beneath it.
around 9.30am the invigilator allow us to open the question booklet as we have a 10 minutes reading time and i just use it to draw out the "mind maps" that i prepared yesterday.
somehow the question was quite similar to the things that i studied yesterday and i might understand why some senior said that if you can afford, you can choose a more reputable university in UK and some forum's senior feedback comment saying that it was like a "3 month scam degree program" in some ways.
in fact, not much people would talk about the "academic thing" but even if it was like a "pre-seen thing", any student also need to have the skills to write out memorized point.
anyways, the two hour exam time seems to be a hard time for me to keep continuous writing.
in the end, i did not manage to finish it completely for the second question although i had written about 7 pages for the first 50% and another 4 pages for the another 50% marks.
however, i do have some confident that i will pass for this exam although some people will laugh if you fail this exam because "guidance given also can fail, really don't know how say right" for my inner voices.
after that, we went to the receptionist centre at level 5 and took the "Tarc Graduation Ceremony 2014" letter as shown below.
guess this would be the "last way" for university to earn $$ from student and i shall able to make it. (>.<)
as i walked out from out from the SHU building, i just recall back what had happened to me this morning and it seems to ruin my mood.
somehow i just distracted my feeling by thinking something worth to be happy such as looking at the short hair girl to remind me about "someone" although it was kinda sad if i think on the other side.
around 12.45pm i arrived back home and went to my friend house to cook the spaghetti with black soy sauce as my lunch again.
upon arrived back home, i just saw the reply message about the morning incident as shown below.
seriously i was totally "speechless" when saw the message because i was seems to be a "target" for releasing the stress and pleasing others people?
for an example, if you raped a girl, would you tell the girl that "sorry, i was acted crazy this morning, just forget what i did okay?" if applying to the similar case above and sorry for being too harsh.
honestly, i admit that i would have my weakness such as the "small gas" as i was not able to treat it like nothing happen in the short time.
in fact, it just make me remind on the past about the "boycott" thing and would you think my friend will forget about it or treat it as nothing happen when you had said out something without thinking the consequences?
somehow i just feel myself seems to be a victim of being "bullied online" when expressing too much of true feeling in the online world.
seriously i did asked myself that what i get in return for being honest to express myself as i could be a very fake person pretending that i am very good by hiding my true feeling if you never knew my true thought right?
besides, i do read every single reply on the message and just feel myself no use to explain it because no matter what i say about no use and i think the best way was just to ignore it although i know i was wrong in some way too.
frankly speaking, i started to not having much "motivation" to continue writing this blog as my "heart confession" because i saw there was more disadvantage than advantage for expressing feelings.
somehow i start to understand why i prefer not to be so close with anyone who know my blog in real life if i wish to continue my blogging journey until the end of my life.
moreover, i do know that i would be no longer an anonymous person to express feeling sooner or later but i already have prepare the heart to face it when i think that "so what if my identity being exposed since i was just another people" that same with you living in this earth as there is nothing unique to talk about.
furthermore, not much people would really care about the privacy concern on posting stuff in the internet when thing did not goes wrong yet just like what the seminar tutor say that we agree on everything.
somehow i start to understand why i prefer not to be so close with anyone who know my blog in real life if i wish to continue my blogging journey until the end of my life.
moreover, i do know that i would be no longer an anonymous person to express feeling sooner or later but i already have prepare the heart to face it when i think that "so what if my identity being exposed since i was just another people" that same with you living in this earth as there is nothing unique to talk about.
furthermore, not much people would really care about the privacy concern on posting stuff in the internet when thing did not goes wrong yet just like what the seminar tutor say that we agree on everything.
in addition, i do feel a bit "funny" about myself when saying this kind of conversation as if this story being read by an adult who already working in the job industry for years, they would be laughing because this kind of small matter shouldn't be a matter at all if compared to those issue that involve money or more even serious issue and i did feel a little immature about myself to argue for such thing.
in fact, everyone have their own way to release stress and i have my own method too just like some guy will choose to watch porn/XXX movie or masturbate to release stress, but i have chosen blogging to release my stress by express my feeling daily and you can choose to not to see right just like having the choice for not watching porn.somehow the "Innovation of loneliness" seems to be quite true as i would like to share the video as below or the link >>> Here.
over time, blogging seems to be a part of my life to get myself entertained so that i wouldn't get so "lonely" by having something to do.
moreover, i do make some friend who really pay the effort concerning about me especially Mrs Anonymous when i received her message this morning regarding all the issue i face everyday as below.
in fact, she was right about my Manchester United weekend trip advice in the second day that i should be with the friend who know me longer.
somehow it was true that we need to face our day with a smile even though there was tears in our life as shown below. (人生有眼泪，然而也要笑着去面对)
upon arrived back home at 6pm, i get some food ingredient and went to my friend house to cook the dinner.
well, i was having a very full dinner and finally arrived back home at 9.30pm.
overall i feel that no matter how much passion i have towards blogging, i would leave this blogging world one day as i know every effort or time i spend on this blog would be totally useless and what i am trying to achieve was just hoping people would get some inspiration when looking at the mistake that i had done in my life.
furthermore, my curiosity for the continue degree program for Tarc college in Sheffield Hallam University in United Kingdom would be ending soon and i had paid a very big price just to want to know some small "answer" where i would like to keep in my heart.
before i end my post, i would like to share an interesting picture about the "True Friendship A-Z" by Michael Josephson as shown below.
sooner or later, i would be end up "mentally crazy" if i keep expressing my feeling using blog as it was so real although knowing the disadvantage for being too real.
well, you mentioned that "you're so used to the people like me" and i just can say that don't act like you know me so well or you're had seen a lot of stuff like already lived for almost 50 years talking like an old uncle who know a lot about life because even myself also still learning about life until this moment.
anyways, you might be right that i might have changed to another person but it is useless to argue that since there is no use for me to further explain about myself.
in fact, friendship need time to build and as it would not be build in just few month or time and need to face a lot of challenge.
after all the
(Self Expenses note: Today £0, Yesterday total £5.50, Total up to date £5.50)
=.=