well, i can't really go out today as i had promised my cousin that i would be taking care of her children.
during the morning, i just have some cupcakes and cornflakes as my breakfast.
somehow i was thinking the same matter all over the morning about whether want to go for short term Intensive English Course in UK offered by my cousin due to my poor command in English.
frankly speaking, i shouldn't having such a "negative thought" such as "why so good help me?" partly because our "Chinese nature thought" that there is no such good person who willing to help you without wanting anything back right?
around 11.20am my cousin's uncle went out to fetch the kids while i was sitting at home taking care of her daughter which is just 2 years old.
somehow it is quite a new experience for me to taking for a children as i had eventually become a "babysister" for children in England.
moreover, it is quite hard to understand baby language especially it is in English since my cousin married to British as i had some communication problem with my "broken English" to listen the English British accent.
anyways, i cooked some instant noodle as my lunch since my relatives was not in the house although she say i can eat any food that available in the house.
after that, i continue to take care the children with her uncle and i feel it is quite tiring to take care of child especially they was very energetic and active walking and running around the house.
on the other hand, i still thinking about the decision whether want to attend the Intensive English learning course from her support and i had asked a lot of opinion from my brother and sister back in Malaysia.
there is one important thing that my brother told me was "In Life, we have to make a lot of decision, once you have think through, just go for it and bear the consequences regardless it is good decision or bad decision. You will learn as you grow along and it is not cost impactful or life threatening, so just enjoy your stay and don't think nonsense once decided" while my sister told me that " Just remember to ask yourself, do you want to make yourself regret anything later? Don't think too much cause it is just want or don't want only, asking too many opinion but in the end, you will have to decide also, no many people got this chance and you should appreciate it and make the best effort to succeed" and i was speechless again.
seriously when ask myself what do i afraid for, it seems that the reason was the "owe people things feeling" (欠人家人情) and i afraid how others will think about me for being so "thick face" staying and eating at relatives house.
well, if i agree to stay and study the English course, my duration to live in England would continue for more 2 month in UK and i going back to Malaysia around December and by that time, most of my friend who graduate from Sheffield Hallam University would be already having job while i would be just starting to find jobs where i would feel myself "lose" in someway in term of earning money.
during the evening, i finally have a decision to stay for a while more after my Europe Trip ends at 28th September 2013 after listened to some advice.
guess i now would be the "thickest face" to "eat, use, stay" in my relative house although i know i shall think the positive way that i would improve my English and confidence in talking as she will have a plan for me to study at the local English course learning program.
during the night, my relatives cooked some food and i just have my dinner around 10pm.
actually it is quite "money pain" to forfeit the Dubai Stopover Trip that my friend already paid around RM550+ for my part and just feel we can't really predict what would happen in future.
moreover, the RM200+ that already pre-paid out of the RM4700+ STA Travel ticket to go out from Dubai seems to be forfeited too.
somehow i should have the mindset of losing RM1000 would have something gain in return such as improving my English grammar and confidence to talk with people.
it is because in the real life, i am having a disadvantage to compete with people who have strong communication skill and confidence.
in fact, i think it might be true that why guys who have a lot confidence would eventually having higher percentage to chase any girl because they already "Win the girls heart" if they brave enough.
somehow i would like to admit that the reason of why i still stay as a single guy who had no experience in love relationship was probably due the low self confidence about myself after being rejected by girl in some way.
later on, i just went to update my yesterday's London Phantom of the Opera blog post again although knowing it is useless to do so.
anyways, i have forgotten what i want to say anymore as this was just another delayed post and i don't feel like thinking so much again that would stress me up regardless what other's would think about me.
furthermore, i might not able to write as often more after that because i had promised to my relatives that i would give my best effort to study the English course and hopefully there will a BRAND NEW ME in future as it might be the time for me to say "bye bye" for this broken English blog.
(Self Expenses note: Today £0, Yesterday total £133.40, Total up to date £133.40)
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