After I had written so much feeling for such a long, I found that the main reason for being unhappy was probably due to my "old habit" when I am reluctant to change and kept "remorse" about my past. Furthermore, I didn't kept my promise to stop writing this blog. Honestly, I was terrified by so much information available on the internet. Sometime I tried not to read it because those negative news would make me felt worst as I will place myself in their shoe. (对号入座)
Well, if you have free time, do you mind to read some article that I found online such as "Couchsurfing's Sex Secret", "50 Reasons Why You May Unhappy", "Antisocial Personality Disorder", "31 Benefits of Gratitude"and a lot more. Actually I was trying to overcome my "silent/quiet" personality from the past because it will easily make others assume that you're unfriendly. Honestly, I didn't find much way to be more sociable when I did not talk much to my cousin and with her husband's parent.
In this moment of writing, I trying not to "cheat" myself by talking more happy and positive stuff. Seriously not much people would understand this kind of feeling and I am not trying to get "pity" from others people. What I can really say was "loneliness" really drive someone crazy because you will eventually start to think and assume a lot of problem that doesn't exist at the first place. Furthermore, those nonsense question such as faking a smile for not being authentic or whether I'm suppress/repress my emotion seems to be useless in the end. Perhaps one useful tips to happy is not to read or see so much news? (personally assumption)
Sometime I did questioned myself about my intention to write those travel post such as Greenwich day trip, just to let myself know that I'm exist or for showing off that I'm able to travel? In the end, this all lead to one question which is whether you're happy about what you're doing with your life. Perhaps the answer to be happy is to be gratitude about what I have. Before I end my post, I would like to share a meaningful sentence that is "You can't always be happy, but if you always strive to choose happiness, everyday you wake up and say, I am going to choose not to let the outside influences of the world affect my mood!" will definitely make your life happier.
