Frankly speaking, I was terrified by my own profile when I search my real name in the search engine. It seems that there is a lot of thing that I don't want to share and suddenly feel myself so "stupid" for using real name in a lot of website. (Sometimes, when I’m all alone, I Google myself?) Seriously you don't really want your future boss or employer know so much about your personal information or your online activity in order to keep your job secure. Hence, it will be the end for me to continue blog about my personal life although I was using an anonymous name. In fact, it is not funny at all when others people know your "secret" and I suddenly felt conflicted within myself once again.
Anyway, there is no way to turn back when your picture goes online and I suddenly felt regret for posting so much stuff using my real name. Do you ever search your own real name in search engine? I bet you will definitely feel shock once you found out your personal information or any picture that you upload is shown on public. During the afternoon, I spend my time surfing and writing for the assignment but couldn't finish due to be thinking too much as I do felt a little "ugly" about own's personality although I am trying to be positive. Besides, I felt that a lot of people live in an assumption world by judging others based on their first few impression. Things seems to be bad when it goes on the way that it is not used to be.
On the other hand, do you ever see yourself in the mirror for over 20 minutes? Today I tried to look in myself in the mirror and I see my "smiley face" seems to be not natural. Seriously there is no help for people who don't even have self confident about their own appearance right? In fact, I am trying to tell myself that my looks is not that bad in order to raise my own confidence because if you don't, who else will be helping you? This small matter might looks like a small issue but sometime a simple details can really reflect a person attitude or personality. During the night, I didn't manage to have more conversation and some of the not very good feeling kept coming back.
Anyway, I will be going to my cousin's grandparent house tomorrow as there will no internet connection other than my own mobile phone internet for this coming 6 days. My personal mindset for now seems to be not very good in some way although I keep telling it will be better. Part of the problem that arise is also come from own personal assumption. Well, good bye for this coming week although I might able to online using my mobile phone.By the way, do you guys enjoyed your "Dong Zhi Festival (winter solstice) celebration in Malaysia? Before I end my post, Merry Christmas in advance with the Last Christmas cartoon song as shown below or the link >>> Here.
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