somehow i wanted to sleep back but had "forced" myself wake up as i will be late later.
then i just quickly prepared myself and went to work.
when i reach Wangsa Maju at 8.35am, i waited some friend before we went to take LRT.
around 9.15am i reach KL Sentral and quickly walk to the office.
well, it seems that i having a bad stomachache as i did not eat any breakfast during the morning.
anyways, i continue my unfinished work and seems like need to "re-test" something.
during the afternoon, my superior asked me to have lunch together and we went to Chili Espresso in Sooka Centre where i usually saw a lot of foreigner people ate there.
after we give our order, here's come the harsh part as my superior told me about my working performance.
honestly, i did feel "hurt" when listen about it because it sounds "harsh" but i do feel thankful to him when he told me about my weakness.
first of all, a marketer need to create a "hype" when the product launching, or else it is totally useless to create "snowball effect" and company hire me is to create some hype instead of growing slowly.
moreover, as a marketing person, you need to always carry a happy/smile in your face as my face seems to be moody most of the time.
somehow i feel that it is maybe because blog to much "emos" or negative stuff will eventually change a person face appearance as you can't hide in real life if i sad in the online world.
well, it was so true when he say that i always sit alone in front computer like a lonely person there instead of having conversation with colleagues to discuss more about the product related stuff.
furthermore, he also say that i seems to lack of confidence during the Monday meeting when the Japanese boss question about something but i answer in such a soft weak voice as he think in a way that "serious or not this guy is working?" when he told me about it.
somehow i do recall back some of my college memories when talking about this part as it was my weakness.
therefore this might the reason why i am so unattractive in real life and fail to find any girls as no one will really like weak/emo guy just like the Sad Larry video link >>> Here.
besides, it is proven that a person characteristic or attitude will affect him/her no matter where he goes or want to hide it when doing anything.
other than that, my weakness was weak in copy writing skills and schedule planning.
seriously i just feel maybe's it is time for me to leave despite not even finish work for a month.
well, what should you do if you start to understand yourself was actually having so much weakness and was below average than a normal human "standard" should have?
during the evening, there is a little brainstorm session and i couldn't focus well when my colleagues asked me did i really know what i am talking about during that moment as i keep thinking another things.
perhaps i should really need to think whether i should go for my SHU UK or not as i see the marketing jobs seems to be quite useless in nowadays as it look like a job for the boss instead of employee.
in short, it might means that company really don't need to hire any marketer as it was a role for the boss.
once again i was "stuck" again with a decision whether want to go or not because a less talkative people like me should do the job that no need communicate much with people such as IT technician, programmer, repair car and etc jobs.
around 7.05pm i make a move from office and arrived Wangsa Maju at 7.45pm.
then i went to have my dinner at "Wan Tan Mee" noodles stall instead of queuing up at the Kopitiam Desa.
somehow the VCD shop was playing a Thai series ghost movie and i dislike it since my table was just in front of the TV. (speechless~=.=)
finally i arrived back home at 8.25pm and feel quite tired as i did not sleep much hour yesterday.
before i end my post, i would like to share a song that i like recently which is named "Shi Shen Me Rang Wo Yu Jian Zhe Yang De Ni" (是什么让我遇见这样的妳) which means "What Was It That Made Me Meet Someone Like You" that sang by Bai An (白安) as below or the link >>> Here.
well, i just feel quite "emos" again when listening this kind of song especially when i look at it's lyrics as shown below.
___________________________________
我是宇宙间的尘埃，漂泊在这茫茫人海。
偶然掉入谁的胸怀，多想从此不再离开。
我是宇宙间的尘埃，微不足道的一种状态。
偶然成了谁的最爱，多想相信永恒存在。
是什么让我遇见这样的妳。
是什么让我不再怀疑自己。
是什么让我不再害怕失去。
在这茫茫人海里，我不要变得透明。
我是宇宙间的尘埃，漂泊在这茫茫人海。
若妳是我必然的存在，多想从此不再离开。
是什么让我遇见这样的妳。
是什么让我不再怀疑自己。
是什么让我不再害怕失去。
在这茫茫人海里，我不要变得透明。
若时间注定要让妳离开，
我又该怎么学会不依赖。
是什么让我遇见这样的你。
是什么让我不再怀疑自己。
是什么让我不再害怕失去。
在这茫茫人海里，我不要变得透明。
the sentences that highlighted in red is truly what if feels too and it means that "What was it that made me meet someone like you? What was it that made me stop doubting myself? What was it that makes me no longer fear of lost? In this vast sea of people, i don't want to be transparent" which is quite true.
in deed that sometime i do think about the girl that i liked whenever listening this kind of song and the things that comfort myself is to tell myself take care of own problem first before think about other thing else.
maybe somewhere, somehow in future, i still have the chance to meet my Mrs Right.
the most important issues now was to find $$ to able to "raise" (养自己) first and i do admit i was "jelly" about the "Disclosure of Directors remuneration for Tenaga Nasional Berhad (TNB)" picture as below.
later on, i went to refill my water and wash+hang my clothes.
in conclusion, i found one of the reason that drive me to continue writing everyday was probably because i still have some "online people" who care about me although it just few people and i do appreciate them very much where i keep told myself that "Life is full of opportunities, if you didn't succeed this time, you will surely succeed the next time" which might be true.
thanks you for all the time staying with "me" despite i am just an anonymous guy.
don't leave me~
=)