What are your plans for the weekend?
That's the two line that I would've heard during the English course class that I currently pursue in London. For most of my reply and greetings with my classmate, it would be mostly positive although I make out some story that I had some planning such as watching cinema movie during the weekend.
Well, it has been a tough week for me since I had decided to quit my blog after so many years.
Hey, but why I am back now? Is there anything that I had left out or I didn't kept my promise to QUIT FOREVER where I once hated and loved so much?
Frankly speaking, there is too much thing that I want to express about especially for a "Blog Addict" person like me although I have never try any drugs before. However, the feelings is quite similar to smoking as what I had heard before from my friend sharing. At the first day when I stop writing, I thought it is quite okay that I can overcome it but it seems to get worsen for the following day. If I am not mistaken, I didn't have much concentration on study after although I know that I do not think in a rational way. In fact, this was the 7th day of quit blogging and I was testing about myself whether how many days I can overcome this kind of bad attitude. In fact , I can say that it is so true that if you keep continue doing the same thing over and over again, it would eventually become a habit that is hard to stop, and if you try to stop, it might make your whole body feeling uneasy that something is going wrong. Anyways, it is just a confession of a "blog addict" after 7 days of quit writing, but I will always look on the bright side of life.
As for now, I would like to list out few of the thing that I shall look in a bright side of life for making the decision to study the English course as below.
1) Be more brave to talk with people because every minute is consider as money.
2) Improve your English in some ways.
3) Get to know new International friend from Korea, Switzerland, Italy, France, Brazil, Germany, Libya, United Arab Emirates, Portugal, Spain, Turkey, Hong Kong, Japan, Colombia, Uzbekistan and much more country in future.
4) To learn different culture and heard new story shared which is totally different with what I experience during my stay for 3 month Tarc degree summer program in Sheffield Hallam University (SHU) because most of the student at SHU is from Malaysia, even if there is International student as your housemate, it is still limited to just few people.
Beside, today's class I do notice something about myself that I shouldn't be so "confident" during the discussion of the answer whether right or wrong with the Korean girl that sit beside me. It is because the way she learn English can be quite detail as she pointed out the lesson teach by the teacher is past continuous or simple past perfect tense by checking back with my answer. Guess I was being too "ego" when I thought my English is right but the fact is incorrect. So this small incident really taught me that I shouldn't think that it is not "worth" to study partly because of friend's influence. Actually there is more benefits if I try to think in a brighter side just like whether you can see the glass is half empty or half full as shown below.
Next, I think it is true that the way you speak or thought might influence your real life. For example, if you keep said the things is good, it would eventually be good and vice versa. Therefore I might start to understand why British people like to say good things no matter how bad although it is quite sarcastic sometime. Honestly, I have been scolded by my brother again during this week when I phoned him saying that "I feel not Worth to study this English subject because I don't think I had learn much and I might able to learn the same things back in Malaysia" which somehow influence by friend's opinion. However, my brother reply was "I don't like your this kind of negative attitude because it is just first week, or maybe second week, you already say cannot, if you keep saying you don't learn anything, then it will eventually become true until the end of your English course, there will be reason why this college would able to sustain for so long because no people will come to learn if it is useless right" and i was speechless.
Apparently it is true that "Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions" because I admit that I keep let all those friend and people's sharing about "Not Worth To Study" this English course things especially some childish thought such as "Wahlau, you study in English in Malaysia for over 15 years, still need to pay so much money to study English meh?" that is quite hurt. Anyway, I shall stop writing those negative stuff because it would just "devour" me in the end even if i didn't really meant it just like the Law of Attraction.
On the other hand, I do have a thought when I have the courage to get to know a new friend by talking with a Colombia guy since the task I gave myself was "Try To Know One New Friend Everyday". According to his sharing, he had taken 6 month off from his job as a programmer in his country just to come here to study English and it is all paid by his own. So I start to wonder that this course must have it's own value because no people will so stupid to pay for something if they didn't learn anything right? This is just like a similar case of one of the Saudi Arabia friend that his company pay his expenses just to study the English at here. Seriously I do know that it is not cheap to study here as I can calculate the fees especially they are studying for 6 month to 1 years. Therefore this might be the secret of "Rich People Meet With Rich People" and poor people might able to get the Rich People network. This theory might be similar to the "Poker card theory" because if the table minimum bet is 1 Million, then all the player in your same table must have the similar asset that you have.
Somehow I think I had "missed" the chance to socialize because everyday this school have a socialize program but most of the activity cost about £10~£30 excluding the underground transportation fee. Therefore I still wonder whether I should allocate some money for "socializing" to get connection/networking with people although I feel not worth when convert back to Malaysian Ringgit. However, if I think on the another way round that if I could consider that as a payment to stay in my relative house as it is free, I would feel better although I feel I was an "au pair" sometime.
At last, my next coming decision was whether want to join the Halloween party or not, followed by the working experience in UK without any salary, then another decision whether want to stay until Christmas in London or just straight go back to Malaysia after completed the English course. Overall it is just about the decision that I made because no people can make you happy and you can't make everyone like you. Of course most of us wish to be loved by people but the fact is we can't expect everyone to love us. Furthermore, the world will not end if people don't like you and it is true that not much people will have so much time to care about your problem. So you can either be jealous of what you don't have or be grateful for the thing you have because happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have in life.
=D