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Happy Halloween With Haunted Ghost London Walking Tour 2013

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Well, there was 2 different things happened today, one had make me feel quite down about the "fine/court thing" and another one is quite happy. Besides, it was a Halloween day and I would like to wish everyone to have a Happy Halloween 2013. Therefore I would like to share about the things that make me happy instead of saying those unhappy thing because I know myself that I might over-write about those negative stuff. The happy thing that I feel today was going the Free Haunted Ghost London Walking Tour that is organized by my English Course school. Anyways, below was the content of our free walking tour.
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[Take the Central Line from Holborn to Liverpool Street Station and then take the Circle Line to Tower Hill]
[Stand on Trinity Gardens, looking over Tower of London.]

Tower of London
The Tower of London is thought to be the most haunted building in the entire world, and contains some of Britain's most famous ghosts. Over it's 900 year history, the Tower of London has been a place for torture, imprisonment and execution, so it's no wonder that there are so many unsettled spirits that wander its grounds.

Perhaps the most famous ghost here is Anne Boleyn, the second wife of Henry VIII. They were married just three years before Henry got bored of her and decided to have her executed for treason, adultery (Henry claimed that she had sex with her brother) and witchcraft, all of which were probably untrue. She was beheaded here at the Tower of London, and is said to roam the corridors, holding her head in her hands.

Perhaps the most heartbreaking of the Tower of London ghosts are the Princes in the Tower, Edward V, aged 12 and Richard Duke of York, aged 10 were imprisoned and killed by their Uncle in 1483, who didn't want either of them to become King. Their ghosts have been seen wandering around the Bloody Tower where they were imprisoned.

As well as human ghosts, the tower is also home to many animal ghosts. For hundred of years, exotic animals were kept at the tower as pets. The most well known animal ghost is a phantom bear, who was seen in January 1816 by a guard. The bear appeared to be real so the guard attacked it with his sword, but it went straight through the bear and struck the wall behind. The guard collapsed with fear and died a few days later from shock.

The area where we are standing now is said to be haunted also, but not by any famous ghosts, because here is where you were executed if you were a commoner. Only celebrities were executed inside the tower. You can imagine back then, they had no TV and no Facebook, so executions were one of the most popular forms of entertainment. Thousands of spectators would come to watch the hangings or beheadings. They even erected seating similar to what you would see at a football match today so that people could watch. Once, one of these seating areas became so crowded that it collapsed, and hundreds of spectators were crushed to death. The prisoner was said to be so amused by this that he couldn't stop laughing, and when the executioner held his head up for all to see, he had a big smile on his face.

[Turn right, continue until you see All Hallows by the Tower.]

All Hallows by the Tower
This church was founded in 675, over 1300 years ago, which makes it the oldest church in London. It was often used as a temporary resting place for those who lost their heads at the tower. However, this church's main ghostly resident still has her head. The ghost takes a form of a little old lady who watched the choir practice. She was first seen in 1920, when a choir boy noticed her sitting in the practice room. They didn't know how she got in, because the room was locked. When they finished rehearsing, she was gone and they couldn't figure out where. Thus, they came to the conclusion that this spectator had to be a ghost.

[Head right into Byward Street, and then when the road forks, take the right fork, Great Tower Street, Not Lower Thames Street]

Hung, Drawn and Quartered
This pub may not be haunted, but it serves as a reminder to London's most gruesome form of execution. From 1351 until 1870, to be hung, drawn and quartered was the punishment given to men accused of treason.
1) Hung by your neck until nearly dead
2) Drawn (an old word for dragged) to the site to be executed
3) Quartered: each arm and leg tied to a separate house and then the horses made to run in different directions so your limbs are ripped off painfully

[Take the 2nd left onto Idol Lane, Take just far enough to see the church. If it's open, go inside]

St Dunstan in the East Church
This church was built in 1100, and completely destroyed during World War II. However, rather than rebuild it, the council decided to grow plants inside and turn it into a garden. No particular ghosts reported, it's just an extremely creepy place! What better place to spend Halloween than in an abandoned church?

[Go back the way you came, turn left and walk straight until you see St Paul's]

St Paul's Cathedral
St Paul's is haunted by a ghost known as the "Whistler", an elderly priest in old fashioned robes with long flowing grey hair. Before he makes his appearance, the room becomes very cold, before the sound of very out of tune, and sad whistling starts. He then floats across the room and exits through a wall. Interestingly, when builders were working on St Paul's, they found a secret door in the wall where the ghost is said to disappear.

[Continue past St Paul's and turn right on Old Bailey]

Old Bailey
The Old Bailey is London's most famous criminal court and has stood here since 1585. Before the death penalty was abolished in the UK in 1965, this was where many prisoners were told that they were going to be executed for their crimes, which is probably why there are so many ghost sightings here. The most evil of all of the ghosts is Amelia Dyer, who was a "baby farmer" in the Victorian era. Baby farming was a Victorian practice where parents could no longer look after their child, so they paid somebody else a small amount to look after them (like adoption). Some people saw baby farming as a lucrative business, so after taking payment to look after a child, they would neglect the child, letting it starve of freeze to death, or murder them straight away. Amelia Dyer is thought to have killed over 300 babies over a period of 20 years. She was eventually found out when a doctor became suspicious about the number of child death certificates he had to make for children under Dyer's care. She was sentenced to death at the Old Bailey in 1896, and was hanged later that year.

Interesting story: Some people suggest that Amelia Dyer could have been the famous serial killer, Jack the Ripper; she was a murderer at the time of the Jack the Ripper killings, so it's possible that she killed the 5 prostitutes who were found murdered in East London in the autumn of 1888. Many think that Dyer could have murdered the prostitutes by accident, by performing abortions on them that went wrong. This theory is strengthened by the fact that Dyer Had trained as a nurse, and that the majority of the wounds found on the Jack the Ripper victims were around the reproductive organs.

[Walk to the end of Old Bailey and turn left on Holborn Viaduct. Turn right on Snow Hill (just after the church) and walk to the end until you reach Farringdon Street. Turn right and walk straight (for a long time!) until you reach cross roads. Turn left onto Greville Street and continue until you see the Bleeding Heart restaurant. The alleyway next to this is Bleeding Heart Yard]

Bleeding Heart Yard
Urban legend has it that this alleyway's name comes from the murder of Lady Elizabeth Hatton whose family owned this area. It is said that her body was found here on 27 January 1626, "torn limb from limb (so her arms and legs were detached from her body) but with her heart still pumping blood."

Of poor Lady Hatton, it's needless to say,
No traces have every been found to this day,
Or the terrible dancer who whisk'd her away,
But out in the court yard, and just in that part,
Where the pump stands, lay bleeding a Large Human Heart!
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At last, I told myself keep thinking about the happy things instead of the another way round.
=D

How To Wake Up Early In The Morning?

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Once upon a time, there was a guy called as "Mr Lonely", where he blog everyday using a "Lonely Reload" nickname to cure his so call "lonely" feelings. However, it seems that blogging no longer be a way for him to express his unhappiness feeling. It is because the more he was trying recall the things that happened to him and composed into words, the more frustrated he would be. In fact, those "negative thought" would eventually make him getting more sad. Anyway, I have no idea why I still want to write this post. Frankly speaking, the moment I quit writing everyday, I felt myself don't have any burden because I no need inform (交代) any about what I had learn for today. Therefore I tends to be getting more procrastinate than previous day.

Well, the day for this weekend seems to be passed quite fast because the daylight in UK is short than the night because winter is coming. As for my 500 words English article, I just manage to complete few of it instead of writing it everyday for improvement. Guess this post was probably a confession again about what I did all the while. The English course seems to be just having a "okay" feeling partly because I can't concentrate much when I having the "ego" that my English is quite okay but the reality is not. For example, I still facing some difficulties answering whether it is Gerund, Infinite, Simple perfect tense and others more. As for the "London Underground Prosecution" issue, I have choose to settle it outside the court by paying £75 and it was a shameful event that happened into my life.

Honestly, it is quite scary to think about that event again because it is not only waste the money, but the fact that no body will pay for the "emotion/psychology" lost. For example, the "Underground" incident made me can't concentrate much in the English course, that means £80 might be wasted for a day, plus the £75 fine (total RM800) "burned" in a day which I had no idea how I can earn that kind of money in a day back in Malaysia. The only thing I can do now is treasure every single moment in the school instead of thinking some nonsense stuff such as "how come other international student from other country can keep skip the class without thought about the money that been spend" which related to "very rich" issues. In fact, I felt that if our Malaysian currency isn't that weak, I don't think I will ever make this kind of "ticket" mistake.

Anyway, life still goes on as said by my brother before and it is useless to think about how other's people will laugh at me for doing this kind of stuff. There is one thing that I felt quite true which is don't ever think about those "nonsense" stuff such as will I have gone into trouble with the ticket problem during the first day arrival in London because Law of Attraction might lead you to there. Beside, the "Stop Mastubation/Internet pornography" video seems to be quite meaningful as shown below.
I believe it is a "taboo" to talk about "masturbation" stuff especially for Asian people because we're not supposed to talk about it as it is something known as "dirty" and pervert. Frankly speaking, sometime I do read back the "prostitution" blog post that I wrote before and feel "butthurt" reading the blogger review.

Over time, I tried not to read those "pros blogger review" or watch any porn "adult" such as setting a goal to stop masturbation for 90 days but sometime human get horny. Seriously isn't it irony that you know about "Karma" will hit you in someway but you still being a hypocrite for watching those video? On the other hand, there is far too much that I want to express but don't know want to start from where. For example, I should be exploring London after the class end but I ended up using my computer. As for the Halloween Party from the school, I didn't join because it was a late event starting from 10pm to 6am in the morning. Well, I just can see those picture that being uploaded on Facebook after it has ended and there is a lot of foreign (guai mui) girl going there. So I didn't experience before about what is the feeling "partying" with foreign people that is different from Viva La Fiesta Sheffield.

Anyway, I seems to be getting more "out of topic" (离题) because this post suppose to be a guide for "How to Wake Up Early". Apparently, waking up early would bring a lot of advantage than disadvantage although it is hard to practice this kind of good habits. As for myself, I tried to wake up 4am early in the morning but ended up sleep back again. Furthermore, I failed to find the "motivation" to wake up when compared to last time. Below content is the ways to getting up early that I just adapted from Wikihow. (Actually if I want to maintain my blog to keep update everyday, I could just copy paste anything without being frustrated to write about the things that happen to me right?)
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Retraining Your Sleep Needs
1) Pick your goal wake-up time. If you'd like to get good at being ready and raring to go by 6 AM, great! There's your goal. This will be the goal you're working toward every day of the week. You're going to do it gradually, though, as to avoid shocking your system. That's right, every day of the week, including weekends. Until you're completely reprogrammed, there won't be any sleeping in. But once you get it down, you won't need to!

2) Set your alarm clock 15 minutes earlier than normal. If you're normally sleeping till 9, going cold turkey and aiming for 6:30 just isn't going to happen. Well, it could happen once, but then you spend the entire day drinking coffee and regretting your life decisions. For the next day, set it for 8:45. The next day? 8:30. And even when you hit that glorious Saturday, chuck off 15 minutes until you hit your goal wake-up time. If mornings are a serious issue for you, stay at one level for two days. Monday and Tuesday can be spent at 8:00 and then on Wednesday bring it down to 7:45.

3) Give yourself enough time for a good night's rest. If you're used to sleeping from 12 to 9, you can't still go to bed at midnight and expect that 6 AM wake-up call to be all trumpets and roses. As you get up earlier and earlier, go to bed earlier and earlier. The goal isn't to need less sleep (sleep, after all, is wonderful), the goal is just to wake up earlier easier. Science tells us that if you get the recommended amount of sleep during the night, it's easier to do just that. You can also try conditioning your body to need less sleep if passing on those night hours is like giving up your first born child. It's the same idea, but with maintaining a set bedtime.

4) Get excited. In order to hop out of bed in the morning with gusto, you may need something to hop out of bed for. So find something to get excited about! If nothing comes to mind, use this experiment as something to do full-force. After all, the path to new, more productive habits is certainly something to be proud of.
What do you have going on in the next day that you can't wait to get up for? Its size does not indicate its efficacy, small things work just as well. Even getting excited for the morning's cup of joe works! Yum. Can you almost taste it?

5) Get ready for the benefits. Waking up early is linked to a bunch of different, positive things. Research says that early risers get better grades, are generally more proactive, can anticipate problems and plan better than their late-rising counterparts. Hope you can handle your own impending awesomeness. It's sort of a chicken before the egg thing. Early risers have more time for exercise, family, and more quiet time at the office (and an easier commute). Is sleep making their lives better or are their lives better because they sleep? Try it out for yourself!

Sleeping Better and Waking Easier
1) Start a nighttime routine. Our bodies need to program down, in a sense. The rush of the day has us into human-sized Energizer bunnies and we can't just go from 60 to 0 in a heartbeat. Your routine should be whatever appeals to you, but it should be daily (to serve as a cue to your body) and take at least 15 minutes.
The routine can consist of showering, drinking warm milk, listening to classical music, or doing relaxing exercises such as yoga or Pilates. If you read, make sure to read without any bright lights (more on that later). Designate your bedroom for sleeping only. Refrain from any strenuous activities right before, as this will inhibit comfortable sleep time.

2) Dim the lights about an hour before you go to sleep. Dimming your lights an hour before you plan on sleeping will help suppress the hormone melatonin, which could lead to a better night's sleep. Try to turn off TV screens, laptop monitors and the like an hour before you want to go to sleep. The science behind it is that all these bright lights are messing with our body's internal clocks. When you're sitting in front of a computer, TV, and phone until 2 AM, your body has zero ideas as to what's going on; it could be 2 AM or 2 PM for all it knows. Turning off the lights lets your body realize, "Ahh, it's bedtime. Shutting down!"

3) Get a decent amount of shut-eye. It's a simple truth, but that doesn't mean it's any less important: sleeping enough will help you wake up earlier. Every individual varies when it comes to their needs; what're yours? It's easier to wake up early if you've have the recommended amount of sleep during the night. Plan on getting:
a) 7 to 9 hours of sleep for adults.
b) 9 to 10 hours of sleep for pregnant women.
c) 10 to 11 hours of sleep for children and the elderly.

4) Sleep with the curtains half-open. Sleeping with the curtains half-open could help your body to stop producing melatonin while simultaneously ramping up production of adrenaline. This could help your body be ready to embrace the day by the time your alarm clock goes off. You know how we just said light keeps you awake? Well, if you're asleep it awakens you. Crazy stuff, huh? The natural sunlight will be perceived by your body, even when you're asleep. Sunlight can also warm your bed, letting the temperature tell you to get up, too. If that's possible, consider placing your bed in the right position in your room to utilize this effect.

5) Try to fall back asleep if you wake up at night. Remain in bed to avoid awakening your body should you move around. However, if you're tossing and turning for over 20 minutes, get up. Do a relaxing activity (like reading or stretching) until you feel you can go back. Getting up in the middle of the night could be the symptom of a larger problem. Evaluate your habits and your environment. If you're doing everything right (you'll know by the end of this page), consider seeing a doctor. You may have a sleep condition that he/she can help with.

6) Adjust the temperature. Most doctors will tell you to keep the room somewhere between 65 and 72 degrees Fahrenheit (18 to 22°C). However, what's comfortable for one person may not be comfortable for another. If you have any trouble sleeping, consider messing with the temperature. You may find your sleeping woes to vanish at the click of a button. If you're not sleeping alone, utilize layers or the lack thereof. Try to find a common ground where you're both negotiating. Worst comes to worst, there's always heating blankets!

7) Put your alarm clock away from your bed. When it's out of reach, you're forced to get out of bed. Putting it next to your bed is just a temptation to hit the snooze button and fall back to sleep for 9 minutes. Not helpful at all. If your alarm clock is the painful MERP MERP MERP kind (did a twinge of disdain just flicker through your veins?) consider getting a new one. There are dozens out there that are way better. Some fly, some smell like bacon (okay, that one's still in the works), and some will smack you in the face. If yours is a day or two away from being ran over by your car, consider getting a better one.

8) Avoid snoozing your alarm clock. As soon as the alarm rings, get out of bed to start your morning. You will eventually awaken and feel better that you've persevered through morning drowsiness. Jump out of bed (as much as is feasible) and think about tackling your inevitably awesome day. Snoozing won't make you feel more rested. Scientists have found that you don't get the more restful, REM sleep while snoozing, making this guilty pleasure especially wasteful for your wakefulness. In fact, you'll just feel worse.

9) Wake up your senses. Once you've gotten out of bed, give yourself that much-deserved pick-me-up. It could be a cup of coffee or tea (that brewing smell will be sure to get you going), a cold glass of water, or a nice shower. Whatever it is, make sure it awakens one (or more) of your senses. When your body and mind are stimulated, you'll automatically wake up to take it in. Light and sound work, too, in addition to taste, smell, and touch. Throw open the curtains, turn on some music, and get your day off on the right foot. The better the morning, the better the afternoon and evening!

Ensuring Top-Quality Sleep
1) Exercise early enough in the day. Many doctors believe that getting in a moderately-intense cardiovascular workout during the afternoon helps people get to sleep at a reasonable time. So go to the gym, join a basketball team, or bust out the dusty treadmill you've been telling yourself you'd use. It'll help you get to sleep earlier. Try not to exercise later on at night. Exercising late at night raises your body's core temperature. Since sleep is thought to be brought on by a drop in the body's temperature, late-night exercise may be detrimental to an early night's sleep.

2) Avoid drinking caffeinated drinks at night. It will keep your body awake and ultimately cause insomnia. Limit your daily consumption to less than 500 mg per day. A grande brewed coffee from Starbucks has 330 mg of caffeine. Red Bull clocks in at a decent 80. Just for the record.

3) Get more sleep on days after you under-sleep. People need more sleep the next day when they fail to get enough sleep the previous day(s). So if you got only 5 or 6 hours of sleep on Monday (which you shouldn't, usually), be diligent about getting 10 to 11 hours of sleep on Tuesday to compensate for your deprivation. Otherwise, you could be feeding a vicious cycle of sleepiness every morning. Don't nap for long periods of time during the day to make up for it, however. The closer it gets to actual bedtime, the more devastating a nap can be. If you need to take a nap, try to make it before 3:00 PM, and limit it to under 45 minutes. That'll provide the most rest while still giving you a good chance of falling asleep quickly later at night.

4) Avoid eating large meals before bedtime. Not only does the rush of flavor wake you up, but once you do hit the sack, you may have a hard time staying there. Not only is it bad for your waistline, but it's bad for the next day's energy, too. Your digestion slows down when you sleep and eating a big meal beforehand makes you susceptible to heartburn (in addition to the trips to the bathroom). Going to bed in a near food coma makes it difficult to initially fall asleep, too. So it's best to just avoid it.
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At last, I hope that I can follow the guide as mention above and the most important is stop being attention whore procrastination although it is hard. Two more weeks to go for my English course to end and another decision is waiting me for to decide.
Be Happy and have a nice weekend!

Have You Hugged A Vegetarian Today?

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If you are a person who regularly meditates, you would know that on some days your meditation goes so smoothly with no distractions whereas on other occasions you find it so difficult to sit in meditation as the mind tends to wander around like a hopping monkey from one thought to another! You might feel helpless at times in making your mind focus on a particular thing and might think you are less capable of doing meditation as compared to those who are adept in it. Well, the real cause for this problem may actually lie in the kind of Food you eat. To understand this, you first need to understand three "Laws of the Land", which are:

1) The "Law of survival in this world": To survive yourself, You HAVE to Kill or injure other Life forms.
2) The "Law of Karma": What you do to others, will find its way back to you magnified several times.
3) This is more of a fact than a Law, "Characteristic of our sub-conscious mind": Our sub-conscious mind is actually bigger, more active and more powerful than what we normally call the conscious mind.

The end result of the above 3 rules is that, to live we have to kill, if we kill then someone in the future would kill us (probably multiple times in different births due to the "magnifying" aspect of the 2nd rule above) and since killing has gone into our sub-conscious we are sure to repeat it at some point of time thereby extending the vicious cycle infinitely and making our escape from it simply impossible.

Agree or not, but this is indeed the kind of world we are stuck in. How much ever we may want to, but we are unfortunately not living in a world where Love prevails all around and where no violence of any form is required for our survival. If you are a Non-vegeterian you are evidently killing (directly or indirectly) but sadly enough, even if you are a Vegeterian, you are still killing since plants are life-forms too. Given that we can't escape from laws described above, how can we potentially come out of this vicious cycle?

Well, we need to begin with minimizing the negative impact of our Karmas for sure.
There are different kinds of Life forms in this world. Some are microscopic and much less complex as compared to some others which are bigger and more complicated. In general at a high level, the complexity of life forms varies in the following order:

Single cellular microbes < Multi-cellular microbes < Plants < insects < Birds < Animals < Humans.

Nature has had to put in varying degree of effort proportionate to the level of complexity of the life form it created. Hence, killing a plant is not same as killing an insect or an animal and certainly not same as killing a human being from a Karmic perspective. By killing a plant we remove from this world a living form whose level of contribution in this world (if it would've survived) would have been much less than the contribution that a higher living form (insect, animal, human, etc) would've been able to make. Therefore, its removal has much less negative impact on the world as compared to that of killing an animal or human.
Hence, eating plants leads to much less Karma (that we need to pay off in the future - in this birth or next) as compared to eating animals. Moreover, plants don't have a family, emotional attachments, psychology and relationships (mother/child, siblings, girl-friends, spouses, etc) that animals and humans and many insects very much have. When an animal is killed, it is full of emotions like fear, anger and vengeance ! Hence, when we eat an animal's dead body (after roasting it in fire and sprinkling it with vegeterian spices to hide its true identity) these emotions silently find their way into our sub-conscious mind as well. Eventually, this hampers good meditation as they attract all sorts of negative thoughts into our mind when we try to focus on something.
Hence, eating plant based food keeps our Karma light which in turn helps in good meditation. Also, depending on the kind of meditation you practice, a varying degree of negative Karma does get burnt up during meditation. Therefore, being a Veggy and meditating regularly, gradually starts to slow you down in the vicious cycle of Karma described above and eventually you are able to get out of it.

Another story that related to become vegetarian about "A Little Story about a Pig and a Dog" as shown below.
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Romping together on the grass. The sun above.
The afternoon. But the Pig was sad. The dog noticed.

I have to tell you something, said the Pig. I will not be with you anymore.
Why? Don't you love me? Aren't you happy with me? Agitatedly answered the Dog.
I adore you. We are Brothers, answered the Pig. But the men. They are coming for me.
What do they want from you? Asked the Dog.
I prefer not to tell you. It is too sad.

I am very afraid, said the Dog.
Do not worry for yourself. You are man's best friend. They even write poems about you, said the Pig.
And not for you? Asked the Dog, not understanding.
Not for me, said the Pig.

But we are of the same blood, cried the Dog, we have played together, we are equals. You see the world just like me, your heart is like mine and he anxiously added. So then, what are you to them?
A flock of happy birds passed across the high sky, filling with their song the far blue mountain range and the field. There was a dense silence and the pig's voice answered, with a drowned sob, with his snout sunken in the grass:
Nothing.
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As for being a vegetarian, you could refer to the vegan food pyramid as shown below.
At last, sorry for being sarcastic.

Pub Night Social Program At Penderel's Oak

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Well, this is just a short note for my own reference. I was wondering whether want to go to Canada Water tube station to watch the fireworks or go to the pub night that is organized by the English course school. Guy Fawkes, was an English soldier and a member of a group of Roman Catholic conspirators who attempted to carry out the Gunpowder Plot to assassinate King James I of England (James VI of Scotland) and the members of both houses of the Parliament of England with a huge explosion, which was prevented by his arrest on 5 November 1605. Actually I do saw the Vendetta movie before last year that related to Anonymous mask as shown below or the link >>> Here.
Anyway, I have chosen to go to the Pub Night social program at Penderel's Oak. (283-288 High Holborn, Holborn, Greater London, WC1V 7HP)

Apparently it was a great way to have some good conversation with some international friend and I get to know some new friend from Thailand and Japan. Basically it is about sharing different cultures of our own country. Beside, I do recall about the "vegetarian thing" when I ordered chicken with pork ribs on the pub that include a alcohol drink. Somehow I do feel a little "butthurt" about "JAV" related stuff and I don't feel like talk much about it because I know I might write until very "sad" if I want. What I can really say is that there is good and bad too for being conservative person.
At last, I would like to share an interesting picture about "Your Brain On Beer VS Coffee" as shown below.
Summary: Beer is good for kick starting your brain into coming up with great ideas, coffee is good for executing those ideas.
(Self Expenses note: Today £22.30)

Life Biggest Disappointments

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Life Biggest Disappointments
Childhood = Santa doesn't exist
Adolescence = Love is not forever
Youth = A degree doesn't guarantee a job
Adulthood = Ideals have a high price
Old age = Life is wasted

(Self Expenses note: Today £14.40)

Why Do I Waste All My Precious Time?

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It has been some time since I attended the English course class at somewhere near Holborn. Well, it seems that the time had passed quite fast and there is one more week to go. Frankly speaking, there is so much of feeling that I wanted to rant talk about but it is useless if it is in negative one. Perhaps it was true that I shall stop thinking something wrong with myself and start feeling good about it. Actually I do get a lot of advice that I shall treasure this kind of opportunity because it came once in a blue moon. To be honest, I think the most important things that I learn from this course is to make as much international friend as I can although sometime I was facing some barrier of communication. Apparently, I gained an opportunity to understand people from different country and different type professional background such as businessman, lawyer, teacher, marketer but most of them was student.

Unfortunately, there are some "nonsense thought" seems to be flowing through my mind as I still haven "change" in someway. In fact, it is true that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is just about as silly as it gets. If you have been performing a diet or exercise plan for months with nothing to show for it, could it be time to try another approach? If you are in a relationship that makes you feel stressed out and unfulfilled despite your best efforts, don’t you think it might be time to count your losses? If you have been hunting for a job for many months with nothing to show for your efforts, shouldn't you consider re-working your resume or broadening your search? It is human to run and hide from change as if it is a evil man that will devour our soul, but change is the very thing that is necessary for success. Of course, action speaks louder than words and I had understand it well for myself.

However, I ended up doing on the another way round as I had wasted most of my precious time. As we know, everyone were given 24 hours per day, but why I can't use it effectively. Honestly, I often lose myself to the "procrastinate" word. It is because I seems to be more happy when I post a lot of interesting picture in my FB Page but the consequence that I face is the waste of time. Furthermore, this had resulted me to end up doing "something" in last minute as I always thought that there will be always have another time. For example, when I feel lazy to wrote the 500 words article, I will choose to delay the task until tomorrow. When the day after tomorrow had arrived, I still don't really have much mood to write and delay again. In the end, all the task must be done in a day. Hence, I always feel that time is not enough although the fact that no one forces me to do this kind of thing that didn't add any value including blogging.

While browsing through my phone's note, it seems that I had totally forgot about the 3D printing technology exhibition that is currently held in London't Science Museum. In fact, I have wasted spend my 3 hour free time surfing in the internet during the 4pm to 7pm awaiting time instead of exploring around London. Maybe this is the similar feeling when you're in a same place for quite some time. For example, if you're working in KLCC, would you purposely use the LRT Monorail and travel to each station? Besides, it would be a lie if I said that I don't mind about the $$ that I had spend here everyday. Somehow I do feel a bit "down" when saw the pound sterling rise back up to RM5.12+ in current rate when compared to the price of RM5.05+ few day ago at 3th November as shown below.
Therefore it is so true that your precious time is money. Hopefully I would treasure every single minute that i going through in my life.
To sum up, stop comparing yourself to other people because life is not a competition and the only person you are competing with is yourself, simply aim to become a better version of yourself every single day.
(Self Expenses note: Today £13.40)

Ten Deadly Habits That Drive You Away From Happiness

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Ten Deadly Habits That Drive You Away From Happiness
1) Holding on to the past
Whether you’re holding on to good or bad memories, spending your life in another time or place does not propel you forward into something for the better. Pay attention to what you are doing right now, today. Learn from your past experiences, thoughts, and feelings, and live now; beauty can unfold in magical ways right in front of you if you just look.

2) Negative self-talk
“I’m not good enough,” is a poisonous thought. Each day, write down ten affirmations or things you like about yourself. This is probably the easiest way to rewire your brain if you keep at it. Love doing you: just because someone you really cared about never loved you, it doesn’t mean you can’t love yourself. In the end, your love and positivity will matter more, rather than relying on others to find it.

3) Procrastinating
Sometimes it seems like the internet is usually one big procrastination machine where you can’t get anything done. You have an automatic switch in your head – when a due date is nigh, it’s suddenly time to watch season one of Beverly Hills: 90210! Start with one imperfect baby step at a time instead of putting off a task. The more you “forget” about what you need to do, the more you end up actually thinking about it.

4) Blaming others
It feels justified to blame others because you know it’s not your fault things turned out the way they did. But blaming others when you’re having a tough time means that you’re denying responsibility. In fact, you’re making the problem worse by self-victimizing. If you’re really upset about a situation, allow yourself to feel the feeling of anger or fear, or whatever it is, instead of blaming someone else for it. Then when you’re ready, let go.

5) Living for a paycheck
There’s actually nothing more soul-destroying than working a job you hate just for the money. Work takes up a large percentage of your life, and if you’re not happy in life, the money truly won’t matter. Do work that defines who you are. Who are you, anyway? Take some time to figure that out, ask yourself uncomfortable questions, and slowly start finding an imperfect path to fulfillment.

6) Never opening the door to challenge
Never accepting challenges is like never wanting to change. Hiding in a corner because you’ve always done that because you never felt loved and you felt ashamed for these feelings will never empower you to be something beyond that. You’ll be stuck in that corner forever, perpetuating the cycle. Tackle the problem one day at a time instead of running away from it. If you’re a shy recluse who doesn’t leave the house, go out in public once a day and look someone in the eye before you move on to your bigger fears.

7) Comparing yourself to others
Your life does not revolve around your fantasy of what other people’s lives appear to be on the surface. You’re looking at Sally’s job at the Best Company Ever and thinking that she must have the Best Life Ever, when, in fact, there’s a total disaster area happening in another part of her life. If you often catch yourself comparing yourself to others, consider deactivating your social media channels for a day and see how you feel. Studies on how Facebook affects self-esteem may very well apply to you.

8) Being ungrateful
Learn to become grateful for the bad experiences you’ve had or the mistakes you’ve made. Sit and dwell and feel crappy about it if you have to – it’s better than denying it. You just got fired, and yes, it’s going to feel pretty bad for a long time. But you learned that the job wasn’t right for you. Now it’s time to embark on a new, better path. Wake up each day thankful to be alive. Notice what you have that others do not.

9) Not being nice to yourself
Practice self-compassion. Ugh, not another one of those words again, like “affirmation.” But trust me, being fully with yourself in a loyal, nonjudgmental way is one step to happiness. Don’t say anything to yourself you wouldn’t say to a friend or family member that you love. You need care, concern and unconditional acceptance as much as the next person.

10) Trying to be someone you’re not
Your whole life, your parents pressured you to get good grades so you’d end up in medical or law school. But that’s never what you wanted. At some point, analyze the mental childhood conditioning you’ve been brought up with. Check in with yourself. Wanting to be pretty and rich might really mean wanting attention, which might really mean wanting to be loved for who you are. It’s time to start digging deep!

Re-blogged post from Life Hack.

Why would that happen? I'll tell you why. If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until it gets so ugly you can hardly bear to look at it.

A person with good thought cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.
(Self Expenses note: Today £15.20)

How To Get Nothing Done Literally

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How To Get Nothing Done Literally?
That's seems to be the story of my life that I am going through everyday with a lot of procrastination.
Happiest Guy in the world?




T.T
(Self Expenses note: Today £0)

Remembrance Day With Red Poppy 2013

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According to Wiki, Remembrance Day (also known as Poppy Day or Armistice Day) is a memorial day observed in Commonwealth countries since the end of World War I to remember the members of their armed forces who have died in the line of duty. This day, or alternative dates, are also recognised as special days for war remembrances in many non-Commonwealth countries. Remembrance Day is observed on 11 November to recall the end of hostilities of World War I on that date in 1918. Hostilities formally ended "at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month," in accordance with the Armistice, signed by representatives of Germany and the Entente between 5:12 and 5:20 that morning. ("At the 11th hour" refers to the passing of the 11th hour, or 11:00 am) World War I officially ended with the signing of the Treaty of Versailles on 28 June 1919. The remembrance poppy (a Papaver rhoeas) has been used since 1920 to commemorate soldiers who have died in war.

Beside, Google had honoured Remembrance Day with a small poppy logo below the search box as shown below.
As for myself, I don't really know much about it other than looking most of the people were wearing a poppy pin in front of their clothes when I was walking out from the London Underground tube station. Well, it seems that this week would be my last week to attend the English course. Frankly speaking, I did have some thought about it whether my English had improved or not because we would want something in return right? For example, when you paid certain amount of money, and that money can use to buy 5 pieces of the latest 32GB iPhone 5S, wouldn't you feel not worth if the same amount of money being used for education? In fact, it is useless to think about those nonsense thought such as worth or not for the value now.

Somehow it is better to think in a good way when I have the opportunity to interact with international student from all over the world for this course and understand different culture. Furthermore, I agreed with the Turkish girl saying that if I didn't decide to study this English course, I wouldn't be able to meet them to be friend or the Japanese friend, together with another friend from Hong Kong during the evening small talk. On the other hand, I did get to know some new French word such as "Comment tu t'appelles? Je m'appelle Lim, enchanté de faire votre connaissance" teaches by one of a France friend who live in Lyon. In the end, it would be a matter of whether you're happy or not with your life because no one is responsible for your happiness other than yourself whether you're doing something or doing nothing literally. At last, Happy Remembrance Day with Red Poppy to all British citizen. Peace.
(Self Expenses note: Today £19.30)

Drink Beer To Socialize In Pub Night

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What makes people successful? Add more words to the list below and choose the five most important.
Charisma, drive, looks, nepotism, discipline, dedication, imagination, luck, ruthlessness, money.
Well, this was the first lesson that we learn from the Market Leader for upper intermediate business English course book in this morning lesson. Frankly speaking, I don't really know how to explain much about the "value" that I gained from this course because I know I would be ended up on the "negative side" if I ever talk about it. Perhaps what's my brother said to me was quite true about myself seems to be like a "girl" who keep talking the same thing over and over again as I am reluctant to move forward. One obvious example that you can saw was I had promised myself to quit writing this blog and I broken my own promise when I continue to write this post.

Somehow I was trying to practice self-compassion from the"Ten Deadly Habits That Drive You Away From Happiness" advice by thinking something that I am happy about. It is because no matter what other's people said to you whether it is good or not, I think that the most important is that you need to think it in a better way. For example, during the break time for the English class, I had take an initiative to go for the break with some friend instead of staying in the class room waiting the time to pass. The thing that I discover during the break time when I was with a friend who work as a financial related business in Saudi Arabia from Libya and another friend who work as a lawyer in KPMG for one of the Big Four from Brazil, they had get along very well discussing about different issues while I was just a listener in the middle of the conversation. Anyway, I had gain some useful information and liked to listen some story from people who is older than me.

In fact, I should be happy that I have this unique opportunity to get to know new people from different country. Sometime it seems to be quite useless to envy what other's people have when I didn't look closely of what I have. For example, when I envy some friend can go Scotland, Spain/Barcelona or London last time when I was in Sheffield, I seems to be get into a negative mindset last time instead of thinking in a brighter way. Furthermore, it is just about making decision because I can choose to go Scotland, Ireland, Stonehedge with Bath, Oxford, Bristol, Birmingham, Stratford Upon Avon and anyplace in London for now. However, I didn't explore much London for this past 6 weeks when I spend most of my time using the computer at the school from 4pm to 7pm. Guess this is why people say that "you won't appreciate much until you lost the moment" quotes as I am still in London while most of my friend already back to Malaysia.

Basically I shouldn't express so much of my opinion in this post because that might lead to "no good" for myself. Anyway, I had joined the Tuesday's Pub Night social program at Penderel's Oak again because this is my last week for the English course. Well, I do get to know some new friend from Italy and Japan although I do feel shy to get to know some girls. On the other hand, it might be true that it is quite hard for Asean people to come oversea to study based on our own currency exchange. For example, the average minimum salary of Malaysian is £250, Turkish is £300, Brazil is £350, Hong Kong £800, Japan is £1200, Switzerland £1400 and more. Over time, I feel that it is important to have a good charisma personality because it is easier to get other people to be interest with you. In short, it means to have the ability to get along easily or to be friendly with other people. Anyway, I seems to enjoy the beer in the pub although it is quite expensive. At last, I might agree it is more easy to socialize with foreign people by drinking beer in pub night. Overall I have enjoyed myself in drinking beer if I don't think about those "emo" stuff. Cheers~
(Self Expenses note: Today £14.90)

Settle Out Of Court From London Underground Prosecutions Department

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First of all, this would be a very long day for me as there is so much things happened in just one day. In fact, I do know that I shouldn't talk about it. Guess the reason I still writing this post was due to too "lonely" in UK while I was on the 50-50 feelings in deciding the date to go back to Malaysia. Anyways, which of the following would motivate you to work harder? Choose your top five and rank them in order or priority and explain about the job satisfaction. Bonus, more responsibility, working for a successful company, bigger salary, threat of redundancy, a better working environment, commission, hard working boss, promotion opportunities, praise, good colleagues, perks or fringe benefits is the first lesson that I learn from the English course morning class.

Frankly speaking, I do feel unhappy about some of the model when the tutor repeat the same thing that is being taught previously. When I point out that the subject is being repeated, he just say sorry and wouldn't repeat it next time but who would repay the $$ for this course? (我读书少,你不要骗我) In fact, it is quite hard to explain the module because it changes every 4 weeks and there is not much choices to choose. Somehow I was trying to think in a positive way when joining this course because I don't want to disappoint my relative good intention for helping me. During the morning break, I was having some good conversation with a Brazilian friend which is a lawyer. It seems that he get a lot of good offer from big company such as Facebook, Vmware, counsel job to work in the legal and law area but he refused as he like his current KPMG company.

Actually he do advice me that if I am interest to study law to become a lawyer, there will always be a way because my excuse was I don't want to study anymore as I am enough with the academic lifestyle. After the morning class end, I quickly take the tube to South Kensington station for settling my "fine" at London Underground Prosecutions Department (LUPD) but the staff was not around. Therefore I quickly take the train back to attend my next class. Well, the next class seems to be having a little bored because it is about business communication and the topic was about business meeting etiquette, relationship and communication in Italy. It seems that Italians prefer to do business with people they know and trust. One of the important lesson that shared by the tutor was "It is important to know who you know, instead of what you know" in the business world. In short, it means to have a good network or connection with people.

After the class end, I quickly take the train to South Kensington again to pay the fine of £75 as I had chosen to settle out of court. Actually before this I had searched a lot of information about "got caught using a child ticket" related information and it is quite ashamed to say it for now. Well, the solution that I found out for the penalty fares and prosecutions from Transport for London (Tfl)was shown as below.
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1) You’ve been caught
So you have been caught, either it was a mistake or you were deliberating doing it, it really makes no difference. Make sure that you check whatever you sign at the time, this will be used in evidence against you, so make sure that you agree with what TFL inspector, or if you did not know then you may say that you were under duress to sign it.

If the ticket inspector has taken down your details it will be all put in a computer, and I gather that the decision to prosecute is made by the prosecution managers. If you have given a real name and address you are likely to receive a letter, saying that you were caught at X time and X date, and do you have anything to say about the matter.

You should immediately reply, with a grovelling letter of apology, it will also be important to make sure that any correspondence with TFL is printed off or photocopied, and kept in a safe place or folder, you will need this if you need to go to court.

2) The Court Summons
Think that they have forgotten about it, haven’t heard about them in a couple of months? TFL are extremely busy prosecuting people, probably with the amount of people that don’t pay on the buses. As fare evasion is a summary offence a court summons can arrive any time (so I’m told) within 6 months of when the offence was committed. Any longer and I assume you can have the case chucked out of you as the time limit for bring forth proceedings has elapsed, or you could be unlucky enough to have the court summons arrive 4 days before the elapsed period.

2(a) Read 
Though you will probably be in shock and perhaps thinking that your legal career is over it is important to read all the documents that you have in front of you, check all the statements provided by inspectors, look to see if they are signed or not, an unsigned statement may not be valid, after all how do we know that someone else has not made this information up? Look also at the statements look for discrepancies, the TFL inspector may have surmised what you have said, or might not have written down what you said at all. Note this down for later.

2(b) Do I have to respond immediately?
My advice is no, do not respond immediately to the court summons as you will be trying to settle out of court. I did not fill out the back of the form or send anything off. If you have already put in your plea it doesn’t matter you can change it. If you have received a court summons ring up the TFL number provided on the summons and ask for whoever is in charge of your case and ask for their email, this will speed up communication time, as you will not have to put valuable letters within the remit of Royal Mail.

3) Drafting a response to the court summons
(A) Tone and Format
Assuming now that you want to settle out of court, have read through all the information on the court summons, have highlighted any discrepancies in the evidence against you, and checked that the statements have been signed so you can assure for their validity you can now start with your draft letter/email in the hope that you can settle this out of court. You will need to sound (a) apologetic, do not rant, keep it simple and precise, and (b) it needs to be written in a formal manner. Do not use the same adjectives over again, have an expansive vocabulary but do not get flowery. Whilst also being formal, apologetic all that jazz, you need to be persuasive, be persuasive in a suggestive way for example “It could be open to suggest that…” etc.

(B) What to include.
Hopefully if you have read all the above points you will know what to include.
You may want to set it out like this (a) Apology (b) Revenue and Policy Guidelines that support you case (C) The Pace argument (explained later) (D) if the statements are signed or not.

(C) The Pace Argument
The pace argument relates to the Police and Criminal Evidence Act 1984. (You may wish to google this) now TFL inspectors are bound by this act and therefore must perform their duties in accordance with it. Depending on your circumstances you may not be even to use this argument, this must be considered very carefully, because if you use it and its not applicable to you then you will look like a dumbass. I suggest you do your own research on Pace.
Now what can you use PACE for. Basically PACE stipulates that any conversation or questions put to a suspect that are likely to produce an allged confession, must only be after you have been cautioned. A police caution in this circumstance being that which you may be familiar with on the bill "You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence."

So if you have been questioned and you have said anything that may be prejudical to your case you could suggest to TFL that it would be inadmissible in a court of law.
If it went to court, you can make an application under s.76 and s.78 of PACE 1984 to exclude such evidence being admitted.

4) The Waiting Game
So hopefully you will nervously await a reply from TFL as they decide your fate! This process can take up to a week. They will either (a) inform you that they are proceeding with the prosecution or (b) saying that they will drop it, if you pay prosecution costs and the fare evaded, an amount which could be between £100-£200. Once you have paid they will send you a confirmation that they have dropped the case and that you do not need to attend the court date.

5) What happens if they don’t drop the prosecution.
Now I never got this far, however I would try and keep communications open as possible with TFL, keep asking them to settle out of court. If not you can ask to meet with the prosecutor and suggest that they charge you with a caution, if not then you could ask the magistrate to impose an absolute discharge (which is not a criminal conviction) given the prosecution’s hard stance. You could also show how eager you were to co-operate with TFL, and make sure that you have a copy of all the correspondence between yourself and TFL.

6) Should I get representation?
Not if you can settle it out of court, solicitors will charge £100 for an interview as fare evasion does not give rise to legal aid! There may however be people who will represent you.
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Upon arrival at LUPD (2nd Floor, East Wing, 63-81 Pelham Street, London SW7 2NJ, prosecution-office@tube.tfl.gov.uk), I do have some conversation with the reception.
Anyways, the content of my letter from Mr Alan Mundy Prosecutions manager and gave the Formal Warning Aceptance Form as shown below.
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The facts of this incidents are now being considered and I must advice you that legal proceedings may be initiated against you regarding this matter in accordance with the London Underground prosecution policy.
If you have any comments to make regarding this incident please write them on the reverse side of this letter and complete the information panel below, returning the whole letter, within 10 days.
You do not have to reply to this letter but it may harm your defense if you do not mention something which you may later rely on in court. Anything that you provide in writing may be used in evidence.
Failure to respond to this letter may result in the matter being progressed by the London Underground Prosecutions department without further notification.

That you accept the offence as alleged and undertake not to travel on Transport for London services in the future without previously paying your fare for the whole of your journey.
That you agree to reimburse the cost of processing the case against you in the sum £75, payable within 14 days from the date of this letter.

Please note that although this warning is not a criminal conviction, London Underground will retain a copy and it could be taken into account in the decision to take enforcement actions against you in the future, should you be reported for a similar offence
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Somehow the warning for penalty of 51 weeks imprisonment or a fine of up to a maximum of £1000 do scares me out. Anyway, I trying to think in a better way such as having sushi at Wasabi restaurant and saw the Lamborghini sport car as shown below.
Furthermore, the HSBC currency exchange seems to be so expensive when it cost RM5.2275 for 1 GBP.

After that, I walked to the Science Museum to look for the 3D Printing exhibition as shown below.
Well, the 3D printing technology seems to be having a huge potential market in future but there is still lack of information such as how to produce their plastic if I want to do this kind of business. Honestly, I still don't know what is my future path is because I often distracted by my surroundings. Suddenly I do recall what my brother say that "Whatever decision that you make, please don't regret it and keep moving forward" in life. In addition, I do think back about my cousin sayings to think about the risk and consequences of it before doing something. On the other hand, it seems that the Philippine typhoon survivors was facing a hard time now. At last, I just feel quite tired because there seems to be so much happening in just a day. In fact, I might agree with what my brother said to me that "If the thing can be settle by $$, it wasn't a big problem" because before this, I had think it in a very negative way, but the fact is this case can be settle outside the court by paying around RM400. After all the incident that happened toward me, I think I had learn a very important lesson from it.
(Self Expenses note: Today £93.40)

7 Differences Between Single VS In A Relationship

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Guess it is better to share some funny picture than talk about the event that happened today. Just sharing the 7 Differences Between Single VS In A Relationship no matter it is in parties, dating, shopping, sleeping, eating, movies or watching TV as shown below.
Somehow tomorrow is my last day for the English Course in UK. The decision to stay or go back to Malaysia still undecided. Anyway, thanks Peter and others online friends for the positive feedback in my yesterday post although we never meet before in real life.
On the other hand, I felt that it is better to find something to do rather than sit in front of the computer during the evening as I had decided to go to the Museum of London as shown below.
In deed it was a great experience because I could understand some historical fact about London such as The Great Fire of London that happened on Sunday, 2 September to Wednesday, 5 September 1666. Unfortunately photography is not allowed there although I tried to capture some secretly as below.
By the way, did anyone received the "Donate now to emergency relief in the Philippines" notification from Facebook as shown below?
Send £10.00 to support the Red Cross Red Crescent global network help those affected by the typhoon. The full amount of this donation will go to the Red Cross Red Crescent global network response.
Hopefully everything can be better at there as I have been watching a lot of related information news from BBC UK channel. In fact, I should be grateful of what I have in my life.
Stay Positive!
=D
(Self Expenses note: Today £16.70)

RM13,000 For A Super Intensive English Course In Holborn London

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Holborn, is one of the central line in London that I will never forget. Frankly speaking, I do appreciate the opportunity that I'm having now because not much people will go through the experience that I have. It is because most of friend had went back to Malaysia after completing their study at Sheffield Hallam University (SHU) or went for a 15 to 30 days Europe trip. As for me, I am fortunate enough to spend more days in London to meet new friends from all around the world. Actually I do asked myself whether I had live my life to the fullest or not very single day. Furthermore, it is not good to "self sabotage or self pity" about your own condition because people will not sympathy about what you had went through.

In fact, there are more serious case that need to be concern such as the Philippines typhoon tragedy where there is not enough food, medical and others basic need supply to help on. Sometime, I admit that I often let my "past or childish" thought keep haunting me. Maybe it is because I had written my thought into words that resulted me to have such a strong memory. For example, I do felt "not worth" for the English course because it cost about RM13,000 in total that include food, transportation and other expenses. Guess the reason behind that I am having such thought is partly because I doubt about myself whether my English have improved or not.

It is because in the end of the day, we do wish to get something in return right. In addition, I did have a thought wondering about why people are willing to spend so much money on education. As my own record, I think I had spend approximately about a total of RM25,000 [(school fees RM8,000 divide 6 semester = around RM1,300 per semester) + (accommodation RM6,000 divide 24 month = RM250 per month) + (food RM7,000 divide 24 month, divide 20 days as Saturday and Sunday is not included = RM13.50+ per day) + (transportation RM2,000) + (travel with entertainment RM2000)] for 2 years study duration as a E-commerce and Marketing Diploma student in Tarc college.

After completed my diploma, I think I had used another RM30,000 in total with all those different expenses as stated in my diploma for 2 years duration for advance diploma in Tarc College again. Finally my last part of education would be spending about RM35,000~RM40,000 in SHU for 3 month twinning course to get my degree as a Bachelor of Arts with Honours in Business with E-Commerce and Marketing certificate. As for the Super Intensive English Programme in Holborn London, it cost about RM13,000 in total when convert back to Malaysian Ringgit. In conclusion, I think I had used about RM108,000 in total for the past 6 years and sometime it is quite hard to imagine.

What I'm trying to say here is that there is no right or wrong when the $$ was used for education, but is that the best solution for every person? Anyway, it is already a fact that I had gone through the English course and get a certificate for Upper Intermediate Level from school of English as shown below.
At once I do have some immature thought that this $$ can use to buy 6 pieces of iPhone 5S, or use as a deposit payment for a Toyota Vios car when I had been ranting whining talking a lot that I don't even have a car as a 23 years old guy. Somehow I do feel ashamed when I have such thought and suddenly think about the girl that I once liked. Guess she had made a great decision for not choosing me as I am not mature yet.

Let's talk about something happy that happened today? Well, the happy moment that happened today was during the moment speaking with different type of friends and we do take some picture as it was my last day at the school. Beside, I do enjoy ate in one of my favourite restaurant which is Wasabi Japanese restaurant in Holborn. During the last session of my course, the tutor talk about the Malaysian culture and shared with other student as shown below.
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Gift Giving Etiquette
Here are some general gift giving etiquette guidelines:
Gift giving to Malays: 
If invited to someone’s home for dinner, bring the hostess pastries or good chocolates; Never give alcohol; Do not give toy dogs or toy pigs to children; Do not give anything made of pigskin; Avoid white wrapping paper as it symbolizes death and mourning; Avoid yellow wrapping paper, as it is the colour of royalty; If you give food, it must be “halal” (meaning permissible for Muslims); Offer gifts with the right hand only or both hands if the item is large; Gifts are generally not opened when received.

Gift giving to Chinese: 
If invited to someone’s home, bring a small gift of fruit, sweets, or cakes; Do not give scissors, knives or other cutting utensils as they indicate a desire to sever a relationship; Flowers do not make good gifts as they are given to the sick and used at funerals; Do not wrap gifts in the traditional mourning colours of white, blue, or black and it is best to wrap gifts in the happy colours of red, pink, or yellow; It is best to give gifts in even numbers since odd numbers are unlucky; Gifts are generally not opened when received.

Gift giving to Indians: 
If you give flowers, avoid frangipani as they are used in funeral wreaths; Money should be given in odd numbers; Offer gifts with the right hand only or both hands if the item is large; Do not wrap gifts in white or black; Wrap gifts in red, yellow or green paper or other bright colours as these bring good fortune; Do not give leather products to a Hindu; Do not give alcohol unless you are certain the recipient drinks; Gifts are generally not opened when received.
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After the class end, I spend my last moment with some friends. Then I went to withdraw some $$ from the local bank.

Unfortunately the HSBC had closed and i walk to Sainsbury's ATM. Well, I just realized that they charged RM10 for transaction fee instead of RM5 from the local HSBC ATM machine as shown below.
Somehow I had learned something new today which is the different charges from different ATM machine and the rate is extremely higher which is RM5.2573 per GBP instead of RM5.2275 from HSBC ATM. Therefore it ended up as RM5.590 per GBP if add the extra RM10 for bank charge. After that, I went to take the underground back and I feel that it would be my last time to visit Holborn. While searching the available job in Malaysia, I do have a feeling of life is not easy as we think, but it is just a matter of our mindset.

In addition, I agreed that the advancement of technology do kills a lot of job opportunity. For example, when we use the online banking system to do our online transaction, there will be no need to have real people to process your payment in the bank. Suddenly I realized that I am repeating my mistake again and again by writing this whiny blog post. Honestly, there is a question that are still bothering me such as "Do you have anything be proud of if you had done something wrong?" For instance, I couldn't reveal myself because I am too ashamed of myself for writing so much of negative feeling in my past. As a conclusion, it is quite true that the past can be hurt, but the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it.
(Self Expenses note: Today £18.80)

Cracked My Head For Doing Nothing?

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Have you ever wondered what is the feeling of thinking too much or "cracked" my head for doing nothing in life? Well, it was actually known as "procrastination" when you try to delay something as you thought that you could do it later on. However, when you acknowledging your procrastination, your future self will procrastinate and it is a symptom, not a cause but the power of being properly motivated can take you far. Frankly speaking, I seems to be giving up easily when I was doing something on the half way. For example, I would easily get frustration after doing a lot of research about the business opportunity. Furthermore, i felt the same when I was searching different kind of job that is available Malaysia.

In fact, I do understand that there is a lot o job opportunity in Malaysia but the main reason that I concern was about the salary part. Perhaps it is because I seems to be lack of time to be able to earn the money that I've wish for. Sometime it is quite "stress" for guy to think about the future especially when we compared ourselves to other people. For instance, when you say a guy get married at the age of 22 year old, and have a kid when he was 24 years old while earning a salary of RM8,000 per month, you might feel a little upset about yourself wondering what are you doing at this age. If you're fortunate enough, you would probably have your own family at the young age instead of wait until you're 28~35 years old, and start to chase girl or have your own family when you're financially stable.

During the afternoon, I was having some conversation with my sister and agreed about the things that she had said previously. For example, most of us would be a "servant" working for other people unless you're the boss. Seriously I was in a dilemma now as I should be grateful of what I have and shall enjoy my stay in UK to the fullest. Later on in the night, I do feel quite ashamed about myself when my cousin say something that is quite true. What I can say is that every person also have their own problem and it is not as easy as what we thought to be true. (家家有本难念的经,家丑不可外传) For example, she know that my father's struggling for the printing company with its related stuff and I don't know want to give what reaction. Beside, I had owe her a lot of things and wouldn't forget about it for the rest of my life.

Apparently most of the time is due to my own careless and she was right that I shouldn't care so much about what other people things and concern about those thing that does bring value to me. One of the example that I received about an unhappy and positive feedback regarding the journey to UK study as I shouldn't let other people to upset me was shown below.
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Unhappy feedback: The trip to UK was unnecessary, just spend more for no reason, your degree is not much different from those who didn't go. Your salary be the same as those who didn't go even... lower maybe cause less work experience due to time spent in UK, UK is more like honeymoon time.

Education are seriously way to expensive. What are you really paying? Seriously just some course notes or some lecture materials. Are you really paying for what it's worth for ? I don't think so. If i can turn back time, and i can choose to re-spend them money that i spent on my education, definitely i would buy a shop and learn business from scratch. Not succeed nvm, at least can learn something realistic but with perseverance sure can be somebody rather than end up in a dead end job.

Now a lot of people are questioning the value of colleges or universities, pay so much and get in debt after graduate ,how to survive? USA got a lot of such case and still a lot of ppl cannot pay up cause interest keep going higher and higher.

Positive feedback: Don't care what other people think of you...come back you have bunch of experience in the foreign country...I come back I become more confident and brave..I myself had change a lot..my family once said I'm a shy and timid person but now I transform into another person..I am once a person who dare not talk to people. .maybe my friends can be said is lesser to you..but I always try to do my best..if you ask my classmate than you will know I'm not a good at socializing. .maybe when you start to work you won't be so frustrated. .I really hope you can be more positive person. .remember one last point...I can transform so can you..
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Therefore I should just focus on improving myself although I was undecided to go back to Malaysia. After all, it was my own problem that I had cracked my head for thinking too much. Anyway, I would like to share a meaningful quotes about "Today I close the door to the past, open the door to the future, take a deep breath, step on through and start a new chapter in my life" as shown below.
At last, I should be happy that I have the opportunity to go to Stratford upon Avon to visits William Shakespeare house at tomorrow.
=D
(Self Expenses note: Today £0)

Stratford Upon Avon William Shakespeare House Day Trip Experiences

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Well, today's would be my last day of joining the social program to Stratford Upon Avon which was organized by the English school. Stratford-upon-Avon is a market town and civil parish in south Warwickshire, England. Actually I do know that I shall carry myself with a happy feeling without being so calculative about the cost of travel whether worth or not. However, the two way travel ticket from Marylebone station to Stratford Upon Avon by train cost for £25 as shown below.
Often time, there is a lot of comment going on round whether money can buy happiness or happiness can't be bought.

In my opinion, I think the most important to answer the "happiness" question is about being grateful about what you have. It can be as simple as when you woke up in the morning, you're happy to be alive for today before starting your daily task. Frankly speaking, I didn't have that kind of mindset before as I expect that I will be able to live on everyday as usual. In addition, I do understand that it is important to not regret about what you have done in life because that incident had become a fact and there is no way to change it. Perhaps it is important to find the way to fix it rather than just talking? For example, there is so much thing happened back in Tarc College life but I didn't find the way to fix it.

If time allow, I would go back and ask what really happened although it might sound useless to regret for now because life still goes on where the world will not stop just because of your voices. On the other hand, I often get conflicted within myself for every decision that I made. For instance, the posting picture of my trip in UK would get some feedback too as my sister said something to me. (wanna remind u for all those pic u took at uk..is it better only allow family members to view only..i.e 5 of us..cuz scare  many ppl will thought we are very rich lor..and later when u come back they will ask alot of thing..)
In fact, I still holding the "top secret" that I never talk about it and this had resulted to feel bad within myself. The top secret is just like the story of "The King with Donkey Ears" if you read before which I am the boy who shouted all my secret inside the hole as I am using blogging to express myself. [If I say that I'm *poor*, would anyone believe me after looking all those picture and experience that I posted online?]

Anyway, enough of talking "emo" thing and I shall focus on the brighter side just like the Stratford Upon Avon. Below was some picture taken there such as the Clock Tower, Shakespeare monument and house, Swan Theatre, boats on the river although we never able to go to the Anne Hathaway's Cottage, once the home of Shakespeare's wife's family, and the museum which cost for £15 in group purchase.
However, we did go to the Wizard's Thatch museum Christmas manor that cost for £4 as shown below.
Somehow I did feel a little not worth to visits there and the value that I see was taking picture with Santa Claus together with receiving a gift book as shown above. Overall it is a great experience to get to know some new friend again although it was sad to leave. At last, I hope to back Malaysia but if I make that decision, I afraid I might upset my cousin effort to help me on improve my English. Well, the air ticket is available for every week start from now and no one can decide it other than myself. (If I didn't learn/gain any value, there is no use to stay too right?) Although it is easy to say that "Control The Situation & Not Let The Situation Control You" by Twilight, but who would really know if you're not in the same situation that I'm going through with all sort of "secret" that I once wanted to express all out but I can't for now.
(Self Expenses note: Today £42.10)

Last Chance To Improve My Personal Development

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Somehow today would be my last chance to improve my personal development. Well, I do admit that it was probably my own "lazy" attitude to have some drastic changes to be more hardworking. Basically there is not much thing happened during my "self study" moment after I had completed the English course in Holborn. Other than that, I was truly appreciate my cousin effort to help me on to improve my English by marking the 500+ words article. In fact, there is so much grammar mistaken when my cousin mark it and the re-editing skills was totally different from what I wrote in my blog. However, the decision to continue stay in UK or back to Malaysia often stress me out and get conflicted within myself.


On the other hand, I was agreed with "Xiao Ying" post about "avoiding sad content" because there will be always a limit for sadness, no matter how sad you are as you need to learn to get over with it. In fact, if you don't mention or record down about unhappy things that happened in your life, you would be forget about it in just a matter of time when it is not important. Before I end my post, I would like to share the 7 ways to improve personal development by Bary Sherman as shown below.
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Like all professionals you are struggling to cope with today’s massive workload.  You are being asked to provide increased productivity and more diversified service to either or both internal and external customers with less staff.  What skills in your personal development can you acquire to accomplish these seemingly impossible demands?  How can you and your staff (if any, these days) focus on service and quality while reducing stress levels with all there is to do?

The answer: by learning Information Age survival skills to improve your time management and project planning skills.  Too often, companies that trim staff fail to focus on the need to improve the work habits and work systems of the remaining personnel; yet doing so improves productivity and reduces stress.

Cultivate effectiveness.  The following are several skills you and your staff must have to achieve the personal development skills that will allow you to truly improve and sustain customer service and increased productivity.

1) Screen non-essential information.
Learn to identify information that you don’t need and eliminate it at the source.  Remove yourself from all distribution lists that stuff your mailbox with useless catalogs, newsletters, and data that have no value to you.   Allow only those items which you need to do your job or address issues of high importance to you to get through your filters. Open your mail, both “e” and “snail,” only when you are ready to deal with it and make your “delete” key and trash bin your best friends.  If you learn to ruthlessly screen/filter low-value information, you will find that the volume of data you work with will decrease dramatically and reduce stress levels accordingly.

2) Don’t procrastinate.
When you put off tasks, you only build stress and make your workload seem heavier than it really is.  If you tackle your worst jobs first and work on them a little at a time, you’ll find that they’re not as unmanageable as you imagined.  Deal with incoming paper and electronic information as soon as you come across them.  Don’t set them down or close them without adding value to them, or the result will be a waste of precious time.  Finally, you’ll find that doing it now will keep both of your “in” boxes emptier, improve your productivity,  and keep you from losing important documents.

3) Reduce interruptions.
Try batching communications with those people you work with most frequently to remove annoying and distracting interruptions.  Keep a file, either paper or electronic, for each person containing documents you need to discuss, or your notes on subjects you need to ask about.  Plan you work, meet with these people frequently, on a scheduled basis, if necessary, and answer all your questions at once instead of dealing with five or ten interruptions.  If you establish this practice with all your co-workers, you could perhaps eliminate 50% interruptions a day.  You’ll find that practicing this batching technique that you will improve your concentration and increase your knowledge and productivity, to say nothing about improving relations with your colleagues.

4) Get your papers organized.
It’s important to be able to find everything you need to do your work all the time.  Stop wasting time looking for lost documents on your desk or office floor.  Define a place for everything that comes into your office by grouping related papers, labeling them, and containing them.  Organize materials on an as-used basis.
Place frequently used files and materials where they can be reached without getting up from your chair.
Place files that are used occasionally (that is, once or twice a month) in a nearby filing cabinet.
Archive files that are used no more than once a year.
Keep your papers organized; work with only one file or project at a time.  This will make it easier for you to concentrate and also keep papers from becoming misplaced or misfiled.  This organizational system will also improve your personal development habits, planning work processes, time management skills, and productivity.

5) Establish good email and electronic document storage habits.

6) Use your calendar proactively. 
This is perhaps the most important step toward gaining control of your workload and effectively planning your work.  You schedule meetings with others all the time, but you probably don’t do the same for your own work.
Schedule appointments with yourself, on your electronic calendar, with reminders set, to most effectively concentrate on your priority projects.  Doing so will allow you to focus on your goals, improve your concentration, improve your personal productivity.

7) Develop an effective Task/To Do follow-up system for yourself.
Keeping a follow-up system for yourself electronically is the best way to remind yourself of important deadlines and tasks to help you keep your goals in sight and make big projects more manageable.  Make sure that you use the power of electronics and that your reminders come to you automatically when you want them to.

What happens when you implement all these ideas?  If you have strong work methods, you will provide an excellent role model for your staff.  You’ll also find that communication turn-around time will improve significantly.   Best of all, customer service can be greatly improved, you will have improved your time management effectiveness and you will do all of this with reduced stress.
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Cheers!
(Self Expenses note: Today £0)

The Art of the Start By Guy Kawasaki

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Have you ever wonder about how to start up something but couldn't make up your mind in the end? Well, I had read a meaningful book today. The title is "The Art of the Start" by Guy Kawasaki (Author of Rules for Revolutionaries. Frankly speaking, I often want to start something but I was always hold by my own procrastinate weakness. Anyway, I had start something new such as created a new blog and discover the Wordpress is better than Blogspot in term of gaining new audience without the need to promote it. Perhaps this is the reason why most of the blog that hosted with Wordpress had gained a greater awareness in term of SEO score. (Cried today when I phoned my mother to listen her voice as I felt homesick)

Besides, I had listened and uploaded some story shared by the tour guide during my Europe Trip as shown below or the link >>> Here.
Guess I would be the only who truly enjoy the moment of recalling back memory although it might make me feel "down" in some way.
Anyway, below was the summary of top ten tips for anyone before starting anything by Guy Kawasaki
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1) Make Meaning
Focus on making meaning, not money. If your vision for your company is to grow it just to flip it to a large company or to take it public and cash out, "you're doomed". Kawasaki says that great companies are built around one of three kinds of meaning:
- Increase the quality of life. Make people more productive or their lives easier or more enjoyable.
- Right a wrong. A variant on the above. Be a part of the solution, not a part of the problem.
- Prevent the end of something good. Preserve something classic or historical. Save the whales.

2) Make Mantra
Kawasaki took a jab at corporate mission statements by showing Wendy's mission statement:
Our guiding mission is to deliver superior quality products and services for our customers and communities through leadership, innovation and partnerships.

"I love Wendy's," he said, "but I had no idea that every time I eat there I'm participating in all of that." He says if you want to create a generic mission statement, you can save yourself tens of thousands of dollars for a retreat, facilitators, etc, with the Dilbert Mission Statement Generator.

Instead, Kawasaki recommends coming up with a simple mantra, preferably three words or less, that succinctly describes your core values. Some examples he gave:
- Wendy's: "Healthy fast food"
- FedEx: "Peace of mind"
- Nike: "Authentic athletic performance"
- Guy Kawasaki: "Empower entrepreneurs"

3) Jump to the next curve
Great companies aren't created when a book retailer says, "We're going to change the way books are sold. Instead of carrying 250,000 titles, we're going to carry 275,000." Great companies are created when you say, "Instead of 250,000 titles, we're going to carry 2.5 million." Then you have Amazon.

He offers three tips for how to do this:
- Reboot your brain. You have to break old patterns of behavior in order to adopt new ones.
- Kill the cash cows. The obvious ones are the external ones - the dominant competitors in the space. If you beat them, you beat everybody else, too. The not-so-obvious ones, though, are the internal ones. This mainly applies when launching a new product within an existing company. For example, Apple had to kill the Apple II in order to make way for the Macintosh. They could have continued milking it, but they would have eventually gotten passed up by everybody else. Clear away the old to make room for the new.
- Polarize people. You can't please everyone. It's better to have a small, fiercely loyal customer base than to create a mediocre product that fades quickly into obscurity. Some examples he gave were the Macintosh, Harley-Davidson, Tivo, and the Scion XP (People under 25 look at it and say, "Hey, cool car!" People over 25 look at it and say, "It must have been designed by someone who got fired from Volvo.")

4) Get going.
Don't get caught in "analysis paralysis". Some tips to keep you moving forward:
- Don't type, prototype. There are two kinds of entrepreneurs, he says. One kind thinks that Microsoft Office is the killer app for entrepreneurs. You write your business plan, you create forecasting spreadsheets, you build PowerPoint presentations for clients and investors, etc. The other kind uses AutoCAD to design the product, a compiler to write the code, etc. -- whatever it takes to start actually making the product.
- Don't worry, be crappy. Voltaire once said, "The best is the enemy of the good." If companies waited to completely perfect a product before releasing it, they would never get anything out. It's OK if your 1.0 release is a little rough around the edges, so long as it still creates value for customers. Of course, he says, "This doesn't apply if you're developing medical equipment."
- Find soulmates. "Every young visionary needs adult supervision," he jokes. Behind every Bill Gates is a Steve Ballmer. Behind Steve Jobs is a Steve Wozniak. Build a management team that shares your vision and your enthusiasm, but complements your weaknesses with their strengths.

5) Niche thyself.
Ideally, you create something that is both of high value to customers and that few others are doing. If you consider uniqueness and value creation as the two parameters, you have four quadrants:
- High value, low uniqueness - You compete on price.
- Low value, high uniqueness - This is what he refers to as the "stupid" quadrant. It doesn't matter if you have no competition if no one wants to buy your product.
- Low value, low uniqueness - The "dotcom" quadrant. At one point, someone said, "We're going to change how people buy dog food. We're going to sell it online. We'll cut out the middleman and people will be able to buy it cheaper." But they forgot one thing: dog food is heavy. The money saved was offset by high shipping costs. The crazy thing is not that a company didn't realize this, but that at one point, 16 companies were selling dog food online. Of course, most of them are no longer in business - no great surprise.
- High value, high uniqueness - This is where you make money, margins and meaning.

6) Let a hundred flowers blossom.
Your best customers may not be who you expect them to be, and no matter how good you are, no matter how much market research you do, you can't perfectly predict what will happen in the real world. Kawasaki suggests the following:

- Sow fields, not window boxes. Niche positioning is critical, but spread your message far and wide, as much as your budget will allow. Narrow cast your marketing message too much and you may miss out on a market you didn't even realize existed.
- Look for agnostics, not atheists. Everyone wants to have those "marquee customers", but large corporations are usually resistant to those ideas that "jump the curve". Find the early adopters who are open to new ideas and save the big fish for later.
- Don't be proud. Don't be surprised when the people who are buying your product aren't your intended target market. Instead find out why they're buying it and capitalize on your new found good fortune.

7) Follow the 10/20/30 rule.
When making presentations to clients or investors, use:
- 10 slides - Not 50 as most people do
- 20 minutes - You may have an hour, but some people will be late, others may leave early, and you want plenty of time for Q&A.
- 30 point font - If you use a small font, it usually means you're trying to use a lot of text, which implies that you're a lousy speaker (which most tech company CEOs are, he says). Why? Because they don't practice.

8) Hire infected people.
Hire people who are as passionate about your product as you are (or at least close to it).
- Ignore the irrelevant. A shared passion is far more important than education or relevant work experience. These employees will be more loyal and motivated. Kawasaki himself was working at a jeweler "counting diamonds" when he took the job at Apple. But, he says, the first time he saw the Macintosh, it put tears in his eyes. That's what made him more qualified for the job than anyone else.
- Hire better than yourself. "A" players hire "A+" players, but "B" players hire "C", "C" hire "D", etc., leading to what he calls a "bozo explosion". Hire people who make you look smart for hiring them, not by comparison to them.
- Do the shopping center test. Imagine you see a recently-interviewed candidate at a distance in the shopping mall. Do you...
a) ...walk directly over to them, tell them how great the company is, and encourage them to come on board?
b) ...figure it's a big place and maybe you'll run into them, maybe you won't?
c) ...deliberately avoid them?
If your answer is any other than the first one, don't hire them.

9) Lower barriers to adoption.
Make it easy for people to buy and use your product:
- Flatten the learning curve. Good products should be intuitive to use without having to refer to a manual or take a class. For example, do you know how to set the clock on your VCR? Why is that even a challenge?
- Don't ask people to do something you wouldn't do. While his example of a nuclear-powered mousetrap (that you have to drive to Utah to dispose of the waste) was a bit far-fetched, his story about the Kawai Hyatt Regency hit close to him. At that hotel, there are free washing machines on every floor. People don't want to pay several dollars to wash resort clothes, especially when they're already paying $250 a night for the room!
- Embrace your evangelists. Whether they're your employees or your customers, include them in everything you do. Do everything you can to give them a voice. They are your very best marketing.

10) Don't let the bozos grind you down.
Some bozos are easy to spot. They're grumpy, cynical people who shoot down all your ideas. But beware the "successful bozo" wearing a nice suit. "People automatically equate 'rich' with 'smart'," he says. "That's a big dialectical leap." Often very successful people can't embrace the next curve.

After pointing out some famous tech industry foolishness, he told his own personal bozo story. At one point, he turned down a job interview to become the CEO of a Silicon Valley startup, saying, "It's too far to drive, and I don't see how it can be a business." The company? Yahoo. Kawasaki figures that decision cost him about $2 billion.

"I've been thinking about that for ten years," he said. "And you know what? I made the right decision. I got to spend lots of time with my wife and sons while they were young. I didn't want them to grow up, go off to college, and end up wondering who each other was."

"That explains the first billion," he quipped. "The second billion still pisses me off."
Kawasaki finished off with a Q&A session. The first question out of the chute was, "What's the next big thing?" His answer: "I'm a marketer, not a visionary. I can see the idea and tell you if it will sell or not. If I knew what the next big thing was, I'd either be doing it or funding it. And I certainly wouldn't be telling this audience."
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After reading the book, I did have a "fire" inside my heart to start something and should ignore the nonsense thought such as being lazy or others voices. In fact, it is so true that "as long as you are hardworking and willing to learn, everything else such as working experience or certification is secondary" according to a friend.

On the other hand, you could save your time on reading the book by watching the Guy Kawasaki video at TiECon 2006 as shown below or the link >>> Here.
Until this moment of writing, I still get hold by a lot of weakness. Somehow I felt it was true that if you take time to improve yourself, other great thing will eventually come to you. Furthermore, this will be my last chance to improve myself because when you came out to work, your time will be limited and you might lost the motivation to study new things.
>.<

The More You Avoid The Problem, The More You Suffer

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How are you today? Hope you're fine and happy.
Well, I don't really feel good for today as I'm having conflict within myself.
What I trying to highlight here was the more you avoid the problem, the more you will suffer in future.
As an example, I just told my cousin that I want to back to Malaysia by telling her a lot of excuses such as my MSIG insurance had just expire while the travel visa might be within 6 month.
Somehow she replied, "Well, its okay to go back and I hope that you will not regret your decision, even if you're regret about it, you must learn a lesson to bear the consequences in future."

During that moment, I was speechless because I knew that I'm trying to avoid the problem of improving myself because I felt stress to write the article although I know it is for my own good. Seriously I felt quite "sarcastic" about myself because no one can influence my desire to go back now or later, and I'm still undecided. Perhaps the best word to describe this situation is that I'm finding excuse to become lazy.
In fact, it is so true that "If you are not willing to learn no, one can help you; If you are determined to learn, no one can stop you" as shown below.
Obviously I'm getting myself devoured by my own personality.

Frankly speaking, the most important part that I know myself need to fix is communication skills with people and overcome my "assumption" attitude. For example, I assumed that it is better for me to stay inside the room instead of going out, but the fact is my cousin will feel that I'm being mean/rude if I didn't interact with her children. In fact, she was true that I was afraid to go out from my comfort zone. On the other hand, I am lack of critical thinking and analyzing skills when I look through the problem in the surface area. For instance, I had created a new blog and told my cousin that I will update the corrected article that she helped me to mark.

However, she was right that if I didn't know my intention for doing it, whether want to show or any other thing, it is meaningless. Moreover, if I just posted the corrected article instead of the previous one, it seems to be like a work by her instead of showing that I'm improved my English from it. Actually I did feel bad for writing so many years of broken English as I faced a huge difficulties to overcome it. Honestly, I can't act naturally when I stay in others people house although my cousin had treat me as a part of her family member. Perhaps it is because I didn't pay any rental and contribute back by doing some small housework such as washing plates. As what I heard from other friends from international English course class for the average rental rate in UK would cost around £800+ per month.

On the other hand, I felt thankful to one of my close friend which I contacted him to have some conversation.
During the night, my cousin had cooked a delicious dinner and helped me to correct my English grammar article. I am grateful to have a cousin to help me and gave me confident when she said that all this little things that you do will eventually build out your confident, don't let others people discourage you because you're the one who living your life. Furthermore, she was right that I shouldn't keep dwell on my past which is probably because I kept staying inside the room. Perhaps I should walk around the area or go out to the city as it would be no difference in Malaysia if I keep staying inside the room.

In addition, I do understand I shall not do the things that create no value for me. For an example, reading comments in forum, looking on funny videos or other procrastination stuff would be meaningless if I didn't gain anything in return. Therefore I feel that it is so true if a person can build up his personality, other good things will eventually come. In short, it is means to create meaning just like the "Art of Start" book that I shared yesterday. Somehow I do feel sorry to use "lonely, sad, emo" keywords for so many time because it would eventually influence myself in real life. Guess this is the reason why a lot of people had left me because no people like to be "lonely" and I do understand why some famous FB fanpage can be so successful when the keyword they used, mostly focus on positive, funny and being healthy.

Furthermore, the reason why I don't reveal my identity in this blog because I couldn't faced myself to share something that isn't proud to say out and I will be ashamed if my future son saw his dad for being so weak. All the time, I just keep "hiding" by being a "keyboard warrior" and let those negative energy possessed me. In fact, there is much more real life problem that need to be worry about such as the ability to present myself well in the job interview that I would need to face it soon. In conclusion, I would say that the more you're trying to avoid the problem, the more you will suffer in future because if you're fear of being hurt, you will eventually end up there from my experience. Be happy start from now!
=D

Reblogged The Most Important Question You Can Ask Yourself Today

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When day by day passed, I tends to know myself better.
Sometime I do admit that I don't willing to admit it's my mistake as I believe not much people would like to talk about their "not good" stuff.
Well, my father had phoned me today and told me a story that is related to mindset problem.

One day, there is a wife had accidentally poured a coffee into her father clothes.
In this scenario, there is two possible thing happen which is the father scolded his wife badly or see it with a open heart with "doesn't matter" attitude.
If the father act it in the negative side by scolding badly to his wife, it might influence his wife to go through a bad day and eventually affected her mood on how she will treat their children.
If the father forgive the act it in the positive side by treating better to his wife as it was an accident, it would eventually affect her wife to have a good mood to go through her day.
Therefore this scenario is just a matter of how's we see things differently.

On the other hand, I do feel like copy and post others people content that I read although I had lost my "originality" to express about myself.
Before I end my post, I would like to share a reblogged post about "The Most Important Question You Can Ask Yourself Today" and I truly feel "pain" when it make me reflect about myself as shown below.
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Everybody wants what feels good. Everyone wants to live a care-free, happy and easy life, to fall in love and have amazing sex and relationships, to look perfect and make money and be popular and well-respected and admired and a total baller to the point that people part like the Red Sea when you walk into the room.

Everybody wants that, it's easy to want that.

If I ask you, "What do you want out of life?" and you say something like, "I want to be happy and have a great family and a job I like," it's so ubiquitous that it doesn't even mean anything.

Everyone wants that. So what's the point?

What's more interesting to me is what pain do you want? What are you willing to struggle for? Because that seems to be a greater determinant of how our lives end up.

Everybody wants to have an amazing job and financial independence, but not everyone is willing to suffer through 60-hour work weeks, long commutes, obnoxious paperwork, to navigate arbitrary corporate hierarchies and the blasé confines of an infinite cubicle hell. People want to be rich without the risk, with the delayed gratification necessary to accumulate wealth.

Everybody wants to have great sex and an awesome relationship, but not everyone is willing to go through the tough communication, the awkward silences, the hurt feelings and the emotional psychodrama to get there. And so they settle. They settle and wonder "What if?" for years and years and until the question morphs from "What if?" into "What for?" And when the lawyers go home and the alimony check is in the mail they say, "What was it all for?" If not for their lowered standards and expectations for themselves 20 years prior, then what for?

Because happiness requires struggle. You can only avoid pain for so long before it comes roaring back to life.

At the core of all human behavior, the good feelings we all want are more or less the same. Therefore what we get out of life is not determined by the good feelings we desire but by what bad feelings we're willing to sustain.

"Nothing good in life comes easy," we've been told that a hundred times before. The good things in life we accomplish are defined by where we enjoy the suffering, where we enjoy the struggle.

People want an amazing physique. But you don't end up with one unless you legitimately love the pain and physical stress that comes with living inside a gym for hour upon hour, unless you love calculating and calibrating the food you eat, planning your life out in tiny plate-sized portions.

People want to start their own business or become financially independent. But you don't end up a successful entrepreneur unless you find a way to love the risk, the uncertainty, the repeated failures, and working insane hours on something you have no idea whether will be successful or not. Some people are wired for that sort of pain, and those are the ones who succeed.

People want a boyfriend or girlfriend. But you don't end up attracting amazing people without loving the emotional turbulence that comes with weathering rejections, building the sexual tension that never gets released, and staring blankly at a phone that never rings. It's part of the game of love. You can't win if you don't play.

What determines your success is "What pain do you want to sustain?"

I wrote in an article last week that I've always loved the idea of being a surfer, yet I've never made consistent effort to surf regularly. Truth is: I don't enjoy the pain that comes with paddling until my arms go numb and having water shot up my nose repeatedly. It's not for me. The cost outweighs the benefit. And that's fine.

On the other hand, I am willing to live out of a suitcase for months on end, to stammer around in a foreign language for hours with people who speak no English to try and buy a cell phone, to get lost in new cities over and over and over again. Because that's the sort of pain and stress I enjoy sustaining. That's where my passion lies, not just in the pleasures, but in the stress and pain.

There's a lot of self development advice out there that says, "You've just got to want it enough!"

That's only partly true. Everybody wants something. And everybody wants something badly enough. They just aren't being honest with themselves about what they actually want that bad.

If you want the benefits of something in life, you have to also want the costs. If you want the six pack, you have to want the sweat, the soreness, the early mornings, and the hunger pangs. If you want the yacht, you have to also want the late nights, the risky business moves, and the possibility of pissing off a person or ten.

If you find yourself wanting something month after month, year after year, yet nothing happens and you never come any closer to it, then maybe what you actually want is a fantasy, an idealization, an image and a false promise. Maybe you don't actually want it at all.

So I ask you, "How are you willing to suffer?"

Because you have to choose something. You can't have a pain-free life. It can't all be roses and unicorns.

Choose how you are willing to suffer.

Because that's the hard question that matters. Pleasure is an easy question. And pretty much all of us have the same answer.

The more interesting question is the pain. What is the pain that you want to sustain?

Because that answer will actually get you somewhere. It's the question that can change your life. It's what makes me me and you you. It's what defines us and separates us and ultimately brings us together.

So what's it going to be?
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In deed I was truly speechless after I had read this article.
=(

Only Time By Enya

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The feeling that I felt today was not really that good, I was conflicted within myself once again.
Well, no people had force me to make the decision to back Malaysia or not although the advice is focused more on self improvement and English related problem.
It is because what's my brother said was right and I do know that the truth is always the most hurt.
A lot of people trying to help me but it would be meaningless if I didn't want to help myself.
In fact, I do know that I should be grateful about what I have as I was fortunate enough to have so many things.
I cried like a baby alone and my brother did comforted me.
[Bro: If u feel very stress then just come back la. Seriously I do want my broth become sot jor there.
Me: wont lah..
Bro: There is no need to cry. Life moves on whether u like it or not. But think wisely before make any decision. Once decided, do it and face the consequences no matter is a good decision or bad decision. Life is like that. U will learn from it. If u always stay in comfort zone dare not make decisions, then u never learn.]

The song that can describe the moment is "Only Time" By Enya as shown below or the link >>> Here.
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Who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows, only time.
And who can say if your love grows,
As your heart chose, only time.

Who can say why your heart sighs,
As your love flies, only time.
And who can say why your heart cries,
When your love lies, only time.

Who can say when the roads meet,
That love might be in your heart.
And who can say when the day sleeps,
If the night keeps all your heart.
Night keeps, all your heart.

Who can say if your love grows,
As your heart chose,
Only time.
And who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows, only time.

Who knows? Only time...
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Seriously only time can proof everything is worthwhile.
Honestly, I do dwell on the past decision about "What If I didn't accept to study this English course, then I wouldn't feel so bad for the £2000+ that was spend on me because the $$ can be use in a more better place." Moreover, I feel bad if I back early to Malaysia without repaying her effort that she put on me. Furthermore, if my cousin see this, she would eventually upset if I ever have such thought. In the end, I only know how to cry instead of finding or solving the way in a positive way.
T.T
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