! A Growing Teenager Diary !

Have you ever heard of this sentences, "You Were Born An Original, Don't Die A Copy" by John Mason?
Basically it means that just be yourself, don't copy someone else.
Frankly speaking, I had lost my "originality" when I was trying to copy someone else work and assume it came from my own work.

This had happened to me when my cousin marks my 500+ words article about The Art of Start book by Guy Kawasaki.
Well, I do felt embarrass about it when I tried to explain more.
Anyway, I shall be grateful that I have a good cousin that had spend a lot of effort to help me to improve my English.

One important lesson that she told me was "The peer that you join will decide your future", which I felt quite true.
For instance, if you join a group of friend who is study hard, you will eventually become one; if you follow people that like to play games, you will become one of it; if you follow negative people, you will become one and same goes to other thing.

Honestly, I do admit it was my "own personal problem" that I want to go back to Malaysia as soon as possible because I was avoiding the problem to improve myself.
Besides, the definition of an introvert person is shy, reticent, typically self-centered person and he choose to not interact (anti social) with other people. (I'm felt struggle within myself about this issue)
Seriously it is so hard for me to change instantly as I was distracted by a lot of things that doesn't create value to my life, yet I still do it.

In fact, I did have a lot of task to do but I seems like acting that I had nothing much better to do.
For now, the task given was to rewrite the article, read the 7 new book before I go back to Malaysia.
Guess I need to delay my flight until this coming new year 2014 and hopefully my "homesick" illness will cure very soon. (cried)

Frankly speaking, I did understand the pro and cons for staying in UK.
If I really pay 100% effort my improve my English skill and personal development such as critical thinking, analytic skills, having integrity, it would surely impress my future employer as there is no need to worry for not having job.
Perhaps it was true that if you spend time on keep improving yourself, every other thing will come eventually.

On the other hand, sister do ask me to research about father's website and gave me the whole domain with hosting information. (I have no excuse to say that I'm free and keep need to move forward)
During the afternoon, it was my first time to see the Xbox 360 played by my cousin's children.
At night, I do enjoyed watching the Doctor Who drama series, which is a British science-fiction television programme about the adventures of a Time Lord, a time-travelling humanoid alien known as the Doctor.

The "Only Time" song by Enya certainly make my mind feel relaxed.

In conclusion, it is no use to dwell on the past and I need to face it with a more positive mindset as life still goes on no matter what happens.
=)

What is Mentoring?
According to mindtools, Mentoring is a relationship between two people with the goal of professional and personal development. The "mentor" is usually an experienced individual who shares knowledge, experience, and advice with a less experienced person, or "mentee."

Mentors become trusted advisers and role models, people who have "been there" and "done that." They support and encourage their mentees by offering suggestions and knowledge, both general and specific. The goal is help mentees improve their skills and, hopefully, advance their careers. It can be in various type of form such as coaches, trainers, consultants, teachers, tutors, that can help you learn and grow professionally.

In short, mentor is someone who teaches or gives help and advice to a less experienced and often younger person.
Well, I am grateful that I have met a lot of good people from all sort of different background to give me some advice into my life.

For instance, I still remember one of my favourite moral teacher from secondary school, Puan Goh. She like to share a lot of story to us although I have forgotten most of it since I didn't blog about it when I was young.
However, I am grateful to have another teacher in my college life, Mr Roland Cheng, which is also one of my respectable tutor back in Tarc College. (Currently known as Tarcuc)

One of the story that I liked most was about "The world is such a small place" and it does make me feel inspired after I had listened to his story. (Sorry for my poor English back then)
Seriously you will never get bored if you ever attend his class if you're a Tarcuc student because he have a lot of story to share and those story often came up with some good moral value that you can learn from it.
Anyway, he had just started his first new blog post in "Come Yum Cha With Me."

On the other hand, I do feel appreciate to everyone who had helped me on the way to cure my "loneliness" no matter it is good or bad because I do learn something from it.
Somehow I just feel that it is important to have people that you can share your problem with.
During the afternoon, I followed my cousin with her family to go for swimming.

It was known as Hillingdon Sports and Leisure Complex as shown below.

Frankly speaking, it was my first time to experience swimming in UK.
Well, the swimming pool was heated and it was a new experience for me.
In fact, there is not much Asian as most of it was foreigner. (guai lou + guai mui)

After having my dinner, my cousin spend her precious time to "mentor" me.
It is because I didn't manage to finish write the article and told her that I might have anxiety disorder or any other psychology problem. (You will be good at anything if you can practice it for 1000 times)
Well, she might be true that I might finding excuse to be "lazy" by finding all sort of reason to delay my task.

Anyway, I have start to acknowledge my weakness and would find solution to fix it.
Moreover, I do learn a lot of thing from her sharing that is worthwhile to record down as shown below.
_______________________________
a) Never ever make assumption, don't assume thing because it will lead to a bigger problem to arise.
b) Don't always see thing in the surface or being shallow.
c) If you went through a tough decision, always think about the worst thing that could happen.
d) Don't pretend to know something if you don't know about it.
e) Be very honest in yourself.
f) Being a mindful and conscious person.
_______________________________

Honestly, I do felt bad after listened to the "truth" about my weakness but it is better to find solution to fix it instead of dwelling the problem.
At last, I have a task/assignment for this week is to research about Seth Godin and present the marketing plan to my cousin this week.
Therefore I will go to the bookstore near Tottenham Court Road to withdraw some $$ from HSBC again although it is quite "heart pain" to spend money in London.
Furthermore, the most important thing that I need to focus now was to improve myself instead of thinking other nonsense thing.
Overall I am being grateful to have someone who guide me and I am trying to be as "original" as possible.

In life, do you agree that learning from mentors is important to give you some guidance about your life?

Well, today's I have a task to find the book that is related to "Seth Godin" at the Foyles Bookstore.
The weather was cold during the morning when I taken the underground tube to Tottenham Court Road.
Upon arrival, I went to withdraw some $$ from the nearby HSBC bank and it cost about RM5.4116 (RM270.58) per GBP for £50.
After that, I walk to the Foyles bookshop (113-119 Charing Cross Road, London WC2H 0EB, United Kingdom) as below.

The bookstore was quite big and it does take me some time to find the place.

During the morning, I was interest with one of the "Psychology Book DK" as shown below.

There is one sentence that I found quite meaningful which is "I do my thing and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful. If not, it can't be helped" by Frederick Perl.

After that, I walk to Chinatown to look around since I had not decided where to eat.

In the end, I decided to have a try at Misato Japanese Restaurant in London which was recommended by one of my Thailand friend from the English course as shown below.

The curry fish dish that I ordered was served in a big portion and it cost £5.50 for it. (including service tax)

After I had taken my lunch, I continue to walk around Piccadilly Circus and saw the snow globe ball and Christmas decoration in M&N shop as shown below.

Somehow I think I had start to recognize the direction of from Leicester Square back to the bookstore.
When I went back to the Foyles bookshop, I do feel a little frustration when I continue to read another book about Online Advertising, which probably due to the knowledge that I had already known.

In the end, I stay until 7.30pm+ at the bookshop and felt that it was a great place to read book for free although it sounds quite cheapskate.
Overall I would recommend this bookstore because it closed at 9pm while other shop close at 5pm.
Honestly, I don't feel like writing "negative stuff" because it would just ruin my day.
At last, I would like to share a meaningful sentences that is "If you can't be a pencil to write someone's happiness, then try to be a nice eraser to remove their sadness" as shown below.

Not to forget, a good mentor could help you to improve your life.
=D
(Self Expenses note: Today £12.90)

Émile Coué was a French psychologist and pharmacist who introduced a popular method of psychotherapy and self-improvement based on optimistic autosuggestion. He believed that most mental and physical illness was a result of the person's thinking. We are often our worst enemy because when we think negative thoughts all the time to a certain degree, those negative thought would eventually bring impact to our life.

Well, the application of his mantra-like conscious autosuggestion, "Every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better" should emphasize on a routine repetition of this particular expression as much as twenty times a day, and especially at the beginning and at the end of each day. Some American newspapers quoted it differently, "Day by day, in every way, I'm getting better and better" but the effect is still the same. Therefore I will try to practice this mantra every single day when I woke up because it will send a strong and energized my brain to start the day.

During the morning, I was invited by my cousin to go for an exercise at the gym in Hillingdon Sports and Leisure Complex. As for guest entry, it cost £5.40 per entry and the facilities at there was good. However, I just managed to train with 1~3KG of strength endurance test and I end my exercise by cycling on the machine. Upon arrived home, I continue to do my "assigned task" after I had taken my lunch.

The assigned task was actually about researching the different way of marketing a company's product or services. In this assignment, I was require to find the ways to increase awareness for a company and used my cousin's husband company as a practice. Somehow I get to understand more about Archive and eDiscovery related information while researching the present competitor.

Frankly speaking, I was distracted by my own "negative thought" such as "I can't do it because I have no skills" although I know it was an excuse. After I have taken my dinner, I print out the marketing proposal plan to my cousin for review. Well, she was right that I shouldn't find any excuse by saying "don't know" without having much research because that was an excuse for a lazy person. Seriously how can I say that actually I'm a lazy person and I don't wish to do anything right? In fact, I do felt a little down if I think about the way I express myself in a blogging platform seems to be a waste of time when I share about what I eat, what I do in London yesterday, as I looks like too free until nothing better to do.

At last, I shall think in a positive way that this "personal development training" exercise with my cousin was actually a training of my ability to research and present information. It is because most of the employer want to see that the fresh graduate have the ability to research information and present it, instead of saying "I don't know" because if you don't know, that might the end of your job. Besides, it is so true that without confident in your life, you have nothing to say if you believe the thing that you learned in the past is a crap. Furthermore, saying something that is not nice or good might make you looks stupid.

Honestly, growing up with my current 23 years old mentality make me felt quite stress when I thought that I have lost a lot of thing when I compared myself with another matured guy. Anyway, I should keep stick on the positive mantra when I told myself that I'm getting better and better everyday in every way. In conclusion, it only takes one person to change your life that is YOU!

"I'm getting better and better everyday in every way" would be my mantra and meditate technique that I would like to practice in my mind.
During the evening, I just continue the research for the marketing plan.
Honestly, the feeling of going back to Malaysia getting stronger and stronger as I was conflicted within myself again in someway.
Perhaps I should focus on the good side of everything that had happened.
At last, the crab cake do really taste great for our dinner.

Before I end my post, I would like to re-blog 10 Negative Thoughts We All Have And What We Should Think Instead by Lifehack as shown below.
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I probably used to be one of the most negative people in the world. I felt like life was a continuous struggle and I had been dealt one of the worst hands, but what could I do? This is just life. Or so I thought.

I’ll never forget the first time I heard that the way I was talking to myself, directly influenced every aspect of my life. We can be our own worst enemy at times and our internal conversation can be extremely limiting. Like most people, I was blind to this somewhat obvious piece of information.

To say I felt like I had just won the lottery once I really understood this, was an understatement. Why? because suddenly I learned that the negative thoughts I had, weren’t facts at all, but instead self imposed limitations that I was putting on myself which I also had the power to remove. Over the last decade, it has become very clear to me that most of us actually have very similar negative thoughts. Here are some of the most common negative thoughts we all have and what we should think instead.

1) I am not good enough
Have you ever thought that you weren’t good enough? When we feel that we aren’t good enough, we tend to drown in this emotion of self-doubt and pity. It really relates to a low self esteem, but the truth is, every one is good enough. You might not have the skills or tools to achieve what you want now, but you are certainly good enough and worthy of what you want.If you have a $10 note, and it falls on the floor into a puddle of mud, does that $10 lose value? Of course not! So why do you feel that you lose value based on what you have done in life. Don’t limit yourself, because everyone is good enough.

New Positive Thought - I am worthy of all I desire in this life, just like everyone else.

2) I can’t do it
‘Can’t’ is one of the most limiting words that you can tell yourself. Henry Ford said. ‘Whether you think you can or you can’t, you are right.’ So if you tell yourself that you can’t, you are sending messages to your mind and brain that you can’t, and so that will be your experience. Your mind won’t try if you have already told it that it can’t.

New Positive Thought - ‘I can do whatever I put my mind to’

3) I’m not as lucky as other people
This thought normally comes from holding an illusion that other people’s lives are better and they are luckier and that is what separates you from them. ‘Perfect’ doesn’t exist, normally there is a lot of effort that goes behind that perceived ‘luck’. It is very dis-empowering to think that you will never have luck and it is simply not true.

New Positive Thought - Good things can happen to me too

4) I don’t think I’ll ever
Whatever you believe will become your reality, this is true.You shape your future every day by the choices you make and your habits. You can sabotage your opportunities by limiting your thoughts. What would it be like if you believe that you could do what you really desire and have the experiences you wish instead? It is not about getting it right the first time, but trying. Don’t stop yourself before you have even given yourself a chance.

New Positive Thought - I am confident I will ….

5) I should be better than I am
Using the word ‘should’ in this context is really negative and makes one feel less than they are. How often do you find yourself saying ‘I should be move clever, more disciplined, more productive, etc than I am. Remember how you feel immediately afterwards? Not good I am sure. Rather set yourself goals for the things you are not happy with instead of telling yourself what you ‘should’ be like or be doing. Take action the things you wish to change and remove limiting modals from your vocabulary.

New Positive Thought - I am making an effort to change what I don’t like

6) I am not strong enough
It’s normal to feel that you are not strong enough at times. We are all human and I don’t know anyone on earth who doesn’t feel weak at times. What is important though, is the conversation you have with yourself afterwards. If you keep reinforcing the fact that you don’t feel strong, how can you expect to feel? Instead, tell yourself that you are strong enough and support yourself to find the strength you need in that moment.

New Positive Thought - I am strong enough to deal with this

7) Nobody cares
It might feel that you are alone at times and that nobody cares, but I am convinced that there are people thinking about you that you don’t even know of. People do care, not everyone expresses their emotions in the same way. It isn’t nice feeling that nobody cares, so stop focusing on that and assuming what other people feel when you don’t actually know. Change your focus to something that makes you feel better instead.

New Positive Thought - People do care about me

8) I am not clever enough
This is a very general statement yet many people tend to say it often and then feel bad about themselves afterwards. What are you not clever at specifically? I bet, if I asked you to identify some areas that you are clever in, you could, if you really tried. Not everybody is clever and perfect in every area and this is what makes us all individual. If you feel that you are lacking in a certain area of knowledge, make time to study and learn whatever it is that you want so that you don’t feel this way any more.

New Positive Thought - I am clever and I am studying xx to master this area as well

9) If I don’t do well, I am a failure
Holding high expectations for yourself and having conditions attached to your self worth on your performance isn’t fair. If you don’t try you will never know, you need to take chances in life if you want to get different results. Don’t be scared of failing, the real failure lies in never having tried.

New Positive Thought - I am going to try, I am not scared of failing, that is not what is important

10) Worst case scenario
Thinking negatively in general is thinking that whatever happens, it is most likely going to be the worst case scenario. What would it be like if you imagined the best case scenario instead? Our thoughts are very powerful and it’s common to use visualization as a technique to imagine the best case scenario. Whether you imagine the worst or the best case scenario, you are influencing your results. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen and rather on what you want to happen.

New Positive Thought - The best will happen…

We all have negative thoughts from time to time, after all, we are human. When the majority of your thoughts are negative however, you are undermining your happiness at the end of the day. Our thoughts directly affect how we feel and therefore, what we do in life. Don’t limit yourself or what is possible for you, master your thoughts and change your results. Whatever you think, you are right!

__________________________________________
Frankly speaking, I do know all those point that being mentioned above was quite hard to achieve but I must always see it with a good mindset because everything starts in your head, stop making excuses just do it!

Be positive!

At this moment of writing, I still not sure whether over positive can be counterproductive or not. In fact, I lived my life by having a positive quote everyday. Frankly speaking, I couldn't be the "real me" although I know it is not good to mention about the "me" from my past. If I was reluctant to change, then it can't be helped right?

Anyway, I would like to share a meaningful video about "Smile or Die" by Barbara Ehrenreich as shown below or the link >>> Here.

Do you agree in the thing that had mentioned in this video?

During the night, I had seen a TV program from channel 4 - "Getting Rich in the Recession : Scappers" and here is some of the movie scene that If you’re slightly annoyed by scrap collectors who prowl your street you might be even less welcoming to realise they’re probably earning more than you are. "I don’t really know what a recession is," says Adam, who can earn as much as £800 on a good day and has a Mercedes and a Rolex to show for his efforts. The first in this new series hangs out at Sydenham Scrap Yard in South London, run by Michael which has a turnover of more than £7m a year.

Somehow I am happy and being fortunate to live the life that I have now."
Can I make you Smile?

Well, today was the due date to present the marketing report to my cousin. Unfortunately, I couldn't manage to finish it within 5 days of preparation. However, my cousin still do the correction for me and I did learn a lot of good lesson from her. Seriously she had helped me a lot of things such as teaching me on good moral value, regaining my confidence by sharing positive attitude.

In fact, she was right that finding excuse is actually cheating yourself. For example, when you say you want to keep fit, but if you didn't do any exercise or eating a lot of junk food, there is no way to reduce your weight right. Another example is like when you say your friend talk about how bad the company, how "suck" is life is, but they didn't do anything to change such as resign other than complain about their life.

One important lesson that I learn from her was "no matter what happens, always think about the consequences whether you can take the risk or not because if you had failed, you will learn a lot from it, but if you success, you will keep on move up to the next level" in your job career. For example, there is one employee who keep stuck on the same job level instead of moving on for the next 10 years.

Therefore it was true that the person who didn't make changes will eventually fail in the end. Most of the time, we do know that procrastination is the major problem for delaying the task that is given to use and we often find a lot of excuse to cheat ourselves. For example, when I keep say "stop procrastinating, but in the end I will start it tomorrow" just like the picture below.

In short, the success of your life is depend on the result of your action.

Honestly, I do admit that I had troll with some "joke" in the forum sometime. But if I think it carefully, the wasted time can actually do something useful but I didn't. Besides, I liked the article shared by LifeHack about "10 Things Happy People Do Differently" as shown below.
____________________________________________
Think being happy is something that happens as a result of luck, circumstance, having money, etc.? Think again. Happiness is a mindset. And if you’re looking to improve your ability to find happiness

1) Happy people find balance in their lives.
Folks who are happy have this in common: they’re content with what they have, and don’t waste a whole lot of time worrying and stressing over things they don’t. Unhappy people do the opposite: they spend too much time thinking about what they don’t have. Happy people lead balanced lives. This means they make time for all the things that are important to them, whether it’s family, friends, career, health, religion, etc.

2) Happy people abide by the golden rule.
You know that saying you heard when you were a kid, “Do unto others as you would have them do to you.” Well, happy people truly embody this principle. They treat others with respect. They’re sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of other people. They’re compassionate. And they get treated this way (most of the time) in return.

3) Happy people don’t sweat the small stuff.
One of the biggest things happy people do differently compared to unhappy people is they let stuff go. Bad things happen to good people sometimes. Happy people realize this, are able to take things in stride, and move on. Unhappy people tend to dwell on minor inconveniences and issues, which can perpetuate feelings of sadness, guilt, resentment, greed, and anger.

4) Happy people take responsibility for their actions.
Happy people aren’t perfect, and they’re well aware of that. When they screw up, they admit it. They recognize their faults and work to improve on them. Unhappy people tend to blame others and always find an excuse why things aren’t going their way. Happy people, on the other hand, live by the mantra:
“There are two types of people in the world: those that do and those that make excuses why they don’t.”

5) Happy people surround themselves with other happy people.
One defining characteristic of happy people is they tend to hang out with other happy people. Misery loves company, and unhappy people gravitate toward others who share their negative sentiments. If you’re struggling with a bout of sadness, depression, worry, or anger, spend more time with your happiest friends or family members. Chances are, you’ll find that their positive attitude rubs off on you.

6) Happy people are honest with themselves and others.
People who are happy often exhibit the virtues of honesty and trustworthiness. They would rather give you candid feedback, even when the truth hurts, and they expect the same in return. Happy people respect people who give them an honest opinion.

7) Happy people show signs of happiness.
This one may sound obvious but it’s a key differentiator between happy and unhappy people. Think about your happiest friends. Chances are, the mental image you form is of them smiling, laughing, and appearing genuinely happy. On the flip side, those who aren’t happy tend to look the part. Their posture may be slouched and you may perceive a lack of confidence.

8) Happy people are passionate.
Another thing happy people have in common is their ability to find their passions in life and pursue those passions to the fullest. Happy people have found what they’re looking for, and they spend their time doing what they love.

9) Happy people see challenges as opportunities.
Folks who are happy accept challenges and use them as opportunities to learn and grow. They turn negatives into positives and make the best out of seemingly bad situations. They don’t dwell on things that are out of their control; rather, they seek solutions and creative ways of overcoming obstacles.

10) Happy people live in the present.
While unhappy people tend to dwell on the past and worry about the future, happy people live in the moment. They are grateful for “the now” and focus their efforts on living life to the fullest in the present. Their philosophy is:

There’s a reason it’s called “the present.” Because life is a gift.
So if you’d like to bring a little more happiness into your life, think about the 10 principles above and how you can use them to make yourself better.
____________________________________________
Do you agree the point that being mentioned above or over positive can be counterproductive?
Frankly speaking, I understand that the day I quit this whole blogging thing would be the day that I will eventually change and let go all my past, but why I still doing it? (=.=)
Before I end my post, I would like to share "The Secret Powers of Time" as below or the link >>> Here.

Perhaps the video was right that if you had done something for 10,000+ hour, you will face difficulties such as a teenager who play games for a long time is hard to change instantly to quit all those unproductive activity.
At last, I'm getting better and better everyday in every way!
=D

The definition of introversion the directing of interest inwards towards one's own thoughts and feelings rather than towards the external world or making social contacts. Frankly speaking, I don't really mean to be one of the "introvert" person. Anyway, I shouldn't recall those old memory because a Happy people live in the present and finding excuses is just means that I'm cheating myself.

During the morning, I followed my cousin to the nearby elementary school as there were having a fund raising event. Upon arrival, there was a lot of children and it suddenly make me recall about my childhood. Somehow I couldn't remember much whether I was having the similar experience or not in my past. What I can recall was my parents did bring me to "fun fair" theme park when I was young.

Beside, I might start to understand why people who like children will be more responsibility because they will think about building their own family one day. If you really have the thought of building your own family, I think that you would want the very best for your children right. In fact, you will not set an bad example to your future child and I do feel awkward if one day my "future children" found out their dad's blog.

On the other hand, I do have a feeling that western culture seems to be spending more time with their children while "Asian" (sorry it is just based on my assumption) seems to be focused more on working in order to survive in the competitive environment especially Malaysia. During the evening, I phoned my dad and wished him "Happy Birthday" although my tears started to drop down.

Maybe this is the feeling when you're "homesick" in someway. After the discussion with my parents and sibling from last week, their suggestion was it is better for me to stay one more month because not much employer will hire people to work especially end of the year. The things that I can do now was keep improving myself in all ways instead of thinking those nonsense stuff.

Seriously my journey in UK is so unique for me and I would remember this moment at the rest of my life. Sometime I do felt "funny" when read back the exactly one year from today blog post about "just be yourself" especially I spend so much time on writing it. Later on, I try to keep myself occupied by reading at least a book a day.

The book that make me feel inspired was Clarity by Jamie Smart. I liked the way it mention that "Thought is best special effects department in the world, powered by Mind and brought to life in our experience by Consciousness. Our thinking always look real, our thought generated experiential reality looks like actual reality, but it's not. We're each living in the feeling of our thinking, moment to moments, an experience that's generated by the principal of innate thinking."

Furthermore, Misdirection is the initiation of a train of thought based on a false assumption. The moment we believe our felt experience is coming from something other than thinking in the moment, we've accepted a false assumption and climbed abroad. In addition, I agreed that we should keep exploring and connect with others while sharing your discoveries to deepen your understanding.

Before I end my post, I would like to share an interesting picture about "Introversion" comic as shown below.

In deed I do like one of the sentences that being mentioned that is "I just appreciate silence in a world that never stops talking" when I reflect it in myself.
Cheer!
=)

The most shocking news for today was about the actor Paul Walker from Fast & Furious movies dies in California car crash. Well, I didn't know much about him other than his movie and may him rest in peace. After I had taken my breakfast, I followed my cousin together with her family to Winter Wonderland Hyde Park. Upon arrival at Marble Arch station, the weather was cold to me in the morning.

There was a lot of people at there and I do felt a little "social awkward" in my own way as there is too much foreigner people. Anyways, I just took some picture for my memory as shown below.

In the end, I decided to play on the Ice Mountain roller coaster that cost for £6 as below.

Frankly speaking, I still have the reluctant feeling to spend money when i convert back to Malaysian Ringgit.

Somehow I think I had missed an important place to visits which is the Magical Ice Kingdom and it cost for £9 which is quite expensive. Anyways, there is a Singing Moose as shown below or the link >>> Here.

Overall I shall be grateful to be able to experience some Christmas related theme park as I was trying to convince myself don't feel bad about the money that being spent in here although it seems like not worth.

During the night, I continue to read the book and I was trying to "implant" myself with reading book habit because I know that I might not able to read so much of book in future. Well, I was agreed about the author saying that You'll find that your habitual superstitious thinking tends to be about "me and my circumstances" (How am I doing? What do I need? How do I look to others? What if I lose this? How can I get that? I'll be happy when.../I can't be happy because... etc.).

It looks real, so you get fooled into searching and seeking outside yourself for something that's already there within you. When you get caught up in your habitual thinking, you innocently mistake it for a material reality. But it's not reality, it's just a dream. The dream-reality seems so real that you mistake it for a material reality. But, all along, the dreamer is tucked up in bed, sleeping soundly, perfectly safe. In any moment, you can wake up to the truth of who you are, and live life more fully from clarity, insight and peace of mind.
Be Happy!
(Self Expenses note: Today £12)

Nowadays, I was trying to adapt myself with a new habit, that is reading some books instead of "devoted" myself in reading those Facebook or other social media news. Frankly speaking, it is quite hard to do so especially you're in front of your computer and all those olden thought would keep coming to "lure" you for falling into the procrastination trap.

Well, I would like to share an interesting book, titled "The Icarus Deception" by Seth Godin about how high will you fly. The contents below is something that I liked from the books.
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After you've created your art, whatever it is - a service, an idea, an interaction, a performance, a meeting, it's done. What the audience does with it is out of your control. If you focus angst and emotion on the people who don't get it, you've destroyed part of your soul and haven't done a thing to improve your art. Your art, if you made it properly, wasn't for them in the first place. Worse, next time you make art, those nonbelievers will be the ones at the front of your mind.

I don't care how many friends you have on Facebook or how many followers you have on Twitter. Those are not actual friends or truly followers. I care about how many people will miss you if you're not back here again tomorrow. The opportunity is not in being momentarily popular with the anonymous masses. It's in being missed when you're gone, in doing work that matters to the tribe you choose. The rest of the world isn't nearly as important as the few who are here.

I was amplifying the negative at the expense of the positive, not to serve any useful function, not to make my writing better, but to destroy it. The lizard brain, so attuned to people laughing behind our backs, was on high alert for this sort of criticism and would do anything it could to stop me from writing again. I haven't sought out and read a review or a tweet since.

It's much easier to live a life in the shadows, where you never have to deal with either impostor syndrome or rejection. You never have to confront the fraudulent feeling of being called talented or the horror of being recognized as fraud. So much easier to hide. Success can be just as fraught with danger as failure, because it open more doors and carries more responsibility.

The dangerous addiction is to keep expanding the audience until we find people who hate our work. Talking about performance anxiety, it's silly and counterproductive to worry as your boss reads your report, or as the audience files in to hear your concerto. The work is already done. Take what you need and leave the rest. Just be careful in understanding exactly what it is you need. Their reaction isn't yours, it belongs to them. The art is yours.

Everyone is lonely and everyone feel like a fraud. Deep down, we're worried that we will be discovered as the frauds that we know we are. If you don't stand out, you'll never need to stand up. And no one will call you on what you say or what you do or what you believe. You;re back in your comfort zone, but as we've seen, there's no safety left there.

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Feel free to watch the video below if you're lazy to read at the link >>> Here.

After I had finished reading it, I seems to be lost my "originality" in writing and felt that it is much more easier to "copy" thing. Honestly, I am trying to be someone that I'm not used to be and I do have a sense of fear when think about it. In fact, reading and understanding a book is totally two different things as my major problem is having difficulties in concentrating stuff.

During the night, I'm having a good conversation with my cousin as she inspire me a lot especially to have more critical thinking skills. In fact, I shouldn't think that the extra 3 month of staying in UK is waste of time. One important lesson that she told me was the person who keep give/contribute without expecting for any return would eventually gain more. What she really hoped that I can learn from all the things she had shared was to spread positive thought to other people that can be proud of sharing.

Actually it is something related to "deposit love bank" story if you ever heard it before. For instance, it is better to contribute/deposit more into your "love bank" when you're relationship instead of "withdraw" from it. Furthermore, it is essential to say good things to people because that will eventually help you a lot to become a better person. As an example, you will never say your own children is "stupid" right? This would be something that I learn from western culture as they will say "I love you" to their children and hug them although it is not the culture of Asian people.

Somehow I keep telling myself to keep say positive and good things although my "past story" is not good. Anyway, I have some task to do for tomorrow which is summary the 2 books that I read and presented it in a mind map format to my cousin. Seriously I felt so grateful to have a good cousin that helped me a lot and the thing that I could repay her was by being a good guy in real life that can inspire others people to have a happy life. Before I end my post, I would like to share a video about "Overcoming hopelessness" by Nick Vujicic as shown below or the link >>> Here.

Cheer Up!
=D

Do you agree about having a necessity to have good English skills that can help you to improve your life? It could be in your future career, communication and others skills. From my understanding, the ways to improve English require four skills activity which is Reading, Writing, Listening and Speaking.

First of all, I will read at least chapter from the book, then listen to the BBC news or television program during the night, followed by speaking with my cousin about what I had done for today and lastly, I will write it down in a short note or using this blog as a platform to improve.

Frankly speaking, I do admit that my English is not good but at least I'm trying to write something down. However, I seems to be ruminating about "something" most of the time and get distracted easily especially when I was studying alone. Perhaps it is important to have someone to monitor me? Beside, I still have some "nonsense thought" (胡思乱想) although I keep trying to say more positive stuff such as "I'm getting better and better everyday in every way" that could cheer my day. At once I even thought that I might be Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde where I was possessed by two character.

This is because I often get conflicted when I have two Facebook account that is my real account and fake account (Lonelly Reload). The fake account seems to be playing as a "lonely" character while my real account play as a "happy+positive" person. Somehow I did accidentally revealed "something" for just few minute and I quickly removed it as I hope no one would see it. Honestly, when I asked myself "why so scare about revealing my identity?", it seems that the answer was I don't wish to let people see the bad side of myself such as having "negative thought", yet I still want to express it out.

In the long term, I had get myself devoured by the "evil" and trying to get out by having more positive thought or posting more positive stuff. Unfortunately the answer for this question would be how strong you can answer the "Why" question. As a example, you can't be asking why I'm so fat but you keep continue to eat so many junk food or not exercise that is a no point question. It goes same apply in my case where I was asking why my English writing skills seems to be not having much improving and yet I still writing in a broken English grammar way while involving myself in social media.

On the other hand, those "outer voices" tends to be keep distracting me although I know it is a choice whether you want to listen or ignore it just like what being shared in the Icarus Deception book. For instance, when you read some feedback such as "Frankly, its the truth. I saw a lot of friend of mine who is forever alone, gave up on relationship and *chiong* their dream. Then all the girls starts to go near them. Just like how you wanted sex or company. People get together for something, and love is just a very, very minor factor of it. Face the truth" and your moral value might get challenged in some way.

During the night, I couldn't present well about the Clarity book by Jamie Smart about "Clarity and Peace of Mind, Resilience, Intuition and Wisdom, Creativity, Presence, Connection, Authenticity, Direction" which is the 8 important clarify mindset. Anyway, I will try to create another mind map for the book that I read yesterday. Actually I still have some thought whether want to go to visits to some places such as Watford Junction to go for Warner Bros Studio Tour London (The Making of Harry Potter), Greenwich, Scotland, Stonehenge and Bath since I was still in UK although my main concern might be the money issue.

Before I end my post, I would like to share an interesting video about "Oldest Living Pianist, Holocaust Survivor, Alice Herz-Sommer" as shown below or the link >>> Here.

It is a true story based on the power of music and she has lived through things you can't imagine. I liked the words that she said especially "Every day in life is beautiful" and "I have lived through many wars and have lost everything many times, including my husband, my mother and my beloved son, yet, life is beautiful, and I have so much to learn and enjoy. I have no space nor time for pessimism and hate" which is quite true. If I had think deeply, we only live once, why we would want to act to live in a negative way right?
In conclusion, the most important thing is to be happy and enjoy your life because it's all that matters.
=)

The definition of TIME is indefinite continued progress of existence and events that happened in the past, present and future regarded as a whole. Well, I believe everyone have the same 24 hours a day and we're being measured by the availability to use it in the most efficient way. If you're wasting it, there would be no other way to find it back. In short, do you respect the time that you have? Frankly speaking, I am struggling everyday to "respect" my own time in term of catching up with the schedule that I had planned on the previous day.

In my opinion, the reason of why it happens was because I find it is hard to do something without having any excitement that happen in the future. For instance, I was unable to wake up at 6.30~7am+ after I had finished my English course as I ended up awaken around 9am+ most of my time. However, it would be different if there is trip or something important to do that would eventually wake me up just like the moment when I was working in the company. Perhaps the truth is actually due to my "lazyness" or the so call procrastination attitude when I kept thought that there will be another day to do so.

Anyway, I agree that we should be the Master of our time by managing our schedule well. This can be done when you keep think about the consequences behind it just like when you did not turn up for an exam, you will eventually fail your examination. Another example that based on my opinion is to write down the time that you want to do something and punish yourself if you couldn't manage to do it. Furthermore, people will only respect you if you respect the people who find time for you in their busy schedules. Basically this post seems to be meaningless to advice others people to respect time if I didn't respect the time for myself.

During the night, I was having a great conversation and gain a lot of inspiration from her sharing when I try to summary the Icarus Deception book. On the other hand, it is true that I didn't research much about how other company can be so successful without having real evidence to back up my finding. Today I just managed toread, speak and listen because I felt lazy to write things. Before I end my post, I would like to share an interesting video about "It Is Always Now" by Sam Harris together with it's transcript as shown below or the link >>> Here.

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It is always now. I actually want to talk today about death. Now most of us do our best to not to think about death, but there's always part of our minds that knows, this cant go on forever. Part of us always knows they were just a doctor's visit away or a phone call away from being starkly reminded, with the fact of our own mortality, or of those closest to us. Now I'm sure many of you in this room have experienced this in some form. You must know how uncanny it is to suddenly be thrown out of the normal course of your life and just be given the full time job of not dying, or caring for someone who is.

But the one thing people tend to realize, at moments like this, is that they wasted a lot of time when life was normal. And it's not just what they, it's not just what they did with their time, it's not just that they spent too much time working or or compulsively checking email. It's that they cared about the wrong things. They regret what they cared about .Their attention was bound up in petty concerns that year after year
when life was normal. And this is a paradox of course because we all know this epiphany is coming.

I mean, don't you know this is coming? Don't you know there's going to come a day when you'll be sick or someone close to you will die. And you'll look back at the kinds of things that captured your attention .And you'll think, "what, what was I doing?" You know this, and yet if you're like most people, you'll spend most of your time in life tacitly presuming you'll live forever. It's like watching a bad movie for the fourth time
or bickering with your spouse. I mean this, these things only makes sense in light of eternity. There better be a heaven if we're gonna waste our time like that. There are ways to really live in the present moment.

What what's the alternative? It is always now. However much you feel you may need to plan for the future
to anticipate it, to mitigate the risks, the reality of your life is now. This may sound trite, but it's the truth. It's not quite true as a matter of physics, in fact there is no now. That encompasses the entire universe you can't talk about an event being simultaneously, occurring here and one at the same moment occurring in Andromeda .The truth is, now is not even well-defined as a matter of neurology because we know that inputs to the brain come at different moments, and that consciousness is built upon layers of inputs whose timing to have to be different.

Conscious awareness of the present moment is in some relevant sense already a memory . But as a matter of conscious experience, the reality of your life is always now. And I think this is a liberating truth about the nature of the human mind. In fact, i think there's probably nothing more important to understand about your mind than that if you want to be happy in this world. But the past is a memory, it's a thought arising in the present. The future is merely anticipated, it is another thought arising now. What we truly have is this moment, and this,and we spend most of our lives forgetting this truth. Repudiating it, fleeing it, overlooking it, and the horror is that we succeed. We we've managed to never really connect with the present moment and find fulfillment there because we are continually hoping to become happy in the future.

And the future never arrives even when we think we're in the present moment we're. We're in very subtle ways, always looking over its shoulder, anticipating what's coming next. We're always solving a problem and it's possible to simply drop your problem if only for a moment, and enjoy whatever is true of your life in the present. This is not a matter of new information or more information, it requires a change in attitude. It requires a change in the attentiveness you pay to your experience in the present moment.
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The quotes of today would be "When life gets blurry, adjust your focus!"
Happy !
=D

Well, I had mismanaged my time for today when I woke up late again. Guess I didn't have much respect for my time. However, it is not good to say something that demotivates my current feeling. In fact, I think it is probably lack of motivation or having enough "passion" to change myself. During the afternoon, I spend my day watching the Anthony Robbins inspirational video. He is an American life coach, self-help author and motivational speaker. Apparently, he became well known through his infomercials and self-help books, Unlimited Power and Awaken the Giant Within.

While I was listening to his Invincible Leadership chapter about The Secret to Explosive Growth, I just write down some of the important point so that I could recall it later. One important lesson that shared by him was repetition is the mother of all skills because knowing and doing is two different things. Moreover, he said that it is all about the mindset to change our life because 80% is depend on psychology while 20% is based on mechanics. The things that stop you from doing something was probably either you're not focusing, having fear and afraid to do it.

In fact, it is so true about the power of training effect is that if you discontinue training, the result will drop after time and you will eventually felt frustrated by quitting it. Sometime I did thought that I might be a dabbler which is an amateur who engages in an activity without serious intentions and who pretends to have knowledge. However, I shouldn't have such negative thought because it will eventually bring myself down. For instance, if you say you can't before you start doing anything, then the outcome might become a "can't" mindset when you're doing it since breakthrough start with a person's belief.

Overall I couldn't manage to finish watch those video because it is quite time consuming and you really need to immerse yourself by finishing watch those video matter how long it takes. Beside, I would like to share on of the Tony Robbins video about "Why we do what we do" as shown below or the link >>> Here.

During the night, my cousin had bought some book especially the "Psychology Book by DK" that I had previously shared with her during my visits at Foyles bookstore. Seriously there is so much thing to learn and task awaiting me to do to have self improvement for my personal growth although I seems to be like nothing better to do in UK. At last, I have confirmed my daily trip to Greenwich and Oxford as I was looking forward on in.

Be happy!

Upon awakens, I was having a bad dream and it is related to my future job environment. Somehow I tried not to think so much about it although I would be starting my career from scratch again. Beside, the news for today was all about Nelson Mandela death in Johannesburg and may him rest in peace. During the morning, I helped my cousin to look after her children and taken some porridge as my lunch. After that, I do have some conversation with my father and he was right that I must be very confirm about my career path by now although he doesn't rushed me to find job after I go back to Malaysia.

On the other hand, I just have a short conversation from a woman in my Facebook account and it was my first time to receive such a direct question. Somehow it does make me wondered whether it is true that single women get desperate after 30+ year old? The reason I shared my conversation was because I still wish to left something for me to recall back when I'm old as shown below.
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Girl: i need a mr right
Me: @.@ i see...
Girl: u r?
Me: huh? means?

Girl: u r mr right?
Me: no lah.. lol, i don't have job, car, house yet, just graduated
Girl: r u hardworking, manner, take care ppl, no smoking
Me: yeah, no smoke no drink. no night activities@@

Girl: good, u r good
Me: ok ok lo.. haha
Girl: how old r u?
Me: 23

Girl: so young, r u single?
Me: yeah lo, haha
Girl: what type girl u like?
Me: duno o. now need find a job 1st then only think others stuff

Girl: if i old than u?
Me: urm, duno o
Girl: u like long hair? sexy girl? dun like fat girl?
Me: no lah, just that i need settle my own personal problem first..

Girl: ok, what u study?
Me: e-commerce and marketing..
Girl: after u settle u problem, u come to chase me?
Me: wow, so direct.. @.@~

Girl: u like me this type gf? no just ask, u just reply me
Me: i duno, cause i never paktoh before for my entire life..been chase once but failed, then no think about it d
Girl: i also never pak tok
Me: how old r u? @.@

Girl: bit i too old than u
Me: ooo..
Girl: 34, do u mind?
Me: sorry to be truth that i'm quite mind..

Girl: yes i know, but i look young
Me: maybe u can use some social networking website like paktoh apps to find the guy that is around your age bah~ i believe there is more people that suit you~ wishing you all the best!
Girl: u see me, i so young look
Me: yeah.. haha

Girl: can no accept because my age
Me: sorry o..
Girl: ???
Me: it's a no.. sorry..
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Well, I'm not sure it is a troll or not because her profile have few mutual friend with me. Frankly speaking, I was quite particular choosing my future partner who was older than me especially 10+ years gap. My preference about my future partner would be younger than my current age or older 2 years maximum age gap. However, I have no right to judge about this matter because sometime "love is blind" and you wouldn't know what will happen to you in future. In fact, I might start to understand why would a single woman will get desperate after 30 years old.

So if I had put myself in their shoes as a 30 year old female, I would start to worry because a woman's fertility will keep decline when I'm getting older. Moreover, you will not have much choice to compete yourself with those 20+ year old when you hit your 30 mid life crisis as a single woman. Actually I do read a lot of article and blogs before writing this post and I would like to share an article about "Why women lose the dating game" and some of the content that I found meaningful was shown below.
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That leaves a lot of beta men spending their 20s out in the cold. Greg, a 38-year-old writer from Melbourne, started adult life shy and lonely. ''In my 20s, the women had the total upper hand. They could make or break you with one look in a club or bar. They had the choice of men, sex was on tap and guys like me went home alone, red-faced, defeated and embarrassed. The girls only wanted to go for the cool guys, good looks, outgoing personalities, money, sporty types, the kind of guys who owned the room, while us quiet ones got ignored.''

He barely had a date through much of his 20s and gave up on women. But then he spent time overseas, gained more confidence, learnt how to dress well and hit his early 30s. ''I suddenly started to get asked out by women, aged 19 through to 40. The floodgates burst open for me. I actually dated five women at once, amazing my flatmates by often bedding three to four of my casual dates each week. It is a great time as a male in your 30s, when you start getting more female attention and sex than you could ever have dreamt of in your 20s.''

That's when some men start behaving very badly as the manosphere clearly shows. These internet sites are not for the faint-hearted. The voices are often crude and misogynist. But they tell it as they see it. There is Greenlander, an apparently successful engineer in his late 30s. In his early adult life, he was unable to ''get the time of day from women''. Now he's interested only in women under 27.

''The women I know in their early 30s are just delusional,'' he says. ''I sometimes seduce them and sleep with them just because I know how to play them so well. It's just too easy. They're tired of the cock carousel and they see a guy like me as the perfect beta to settle down with before their eggs dry out … when I get tired of them I just delete their numbers from my cell phone and stop taking their calls … It doesn't really hurt them that much: at this point they're used to pump & dump!''

Now it's all gold for the single guy. No more on your knees begging for a date, buddy you're the king. Who cares if you're snaggle-toothed, if the girl is over 30, she'll over look that. Got a club foot? No matter. After a girl turns 30, it's like a 'discrimination' switch gets turned off and the 'desperate' switch is flicked on. I know I may bump into alot of opposition with my opinion but look around. How many single female friends over 30 do you have? And for the girls that fall into that group, how many always complain "There are never any good single guys out there"? The first single guy they bump into will already have a running start cause you know she's looking for a mate...if they can find him. So all I can say is;

Good luck single guy, you're gonna have the time of your life, if you are really out there.
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Do you agree that woman will start to like you regardless of much concern about how you look once they reach 30s as shown below?

Somehow I did have a similar feeling with the 20s guy because I don't have much confidence due to my own personal problem. However, I am looking forward to my future and suddenly felt myself so "stupid" for thinking that "no girl would ever like me" without having any evidence to support. Perhaps my mind will change again when I reach my 30 year old and there is still 6 years+ for me to reach that age. Anyway, it is important for me to keep improving myself for a better personal growth before talking any other thing else.

During the night, I helped my cousin as a "au pair" in someway and liked the western culture about how they interact with their children. What I liked was they will hug/cuddle/kiss their children to let them know that they parent love them. Furthermore, I do helped to read some storybook to her children and suddenly feel to have my own family one day as I would read a storybook to my future children. Before I end my post, I would like to share a song that I liked recently which is "Say Something" by A Great Big World as shown below or the link >>> Here.

At last, I am looking forward to tomorrow's day trip to Greenwich and hope that everything will go smoothly without much obstacle.

Be Happy!

Today will be a happy day for me because I was able to travel a lot of place and achieved the schedule that I had previously planned. Early in the morning, I bought the day trip travel pass for £8.90 as I was planning to fully utilize it as shown below.

Upon arrival at Canary Wharf station, I couldn't see my Thailand friend and decided to meet up at Cutty Sark since my phone's credit depleted after I phoned him. (Lebara network line seems to be "money eater" because I just phone 7 min and my £2 remaining credit finished)

Somehow it is so coincidence that I meet him at the Cutty Sark underground station because it would be hard for me to find him. Anyway, we went to the Discover Greenwich visitor building and asked for some information while taking some picture along the way as shown below.

The information that we get was to visit Old Royal Naval College Greenwich, Painted Hall (King William Court) and Chapel (Queen Mary Court), National Maritime Museum, Greenwich Park, Royal Observatory Greenwich, Queen's House Art Gallery and Greenwich Market.

Below was some picture taken and I truly enjoyed it especially the National Maritime Museum because there was a lot of boat and ship models.

Well, I managed to travel most of it and just left the O2 arena, Thames barrier river and park. After taken our lunch at Mc Donald, we took the station to Bank and change to Holborn underground station for Arsenal station.

After finished taken some picture around the Arsenal Stadium, my Thailand friend went back because he felt tired and I started to travel alone. Well, I went to Green Park station and change to Westminister station because I wanted to see the Nelson Mandela statue and Big Ben. After that, I take the Victoria Line to Fulham Broadway station as I wanted to look around the Chelsea football club (FC) surrounding. My last station would be Wembley Stadium and Arena and it took me a lot of time to reach there as I need to change from West Brompton to Willesden Junction to Wembley Central.

Frankly speaking, I do like the shop around Wembly Central because there was a lot of cheaper shop such as Poundland, 99p stores and those kebab/fries that is available for £1 ~ £5 price range. Guess it is due to the standard of living in London city is much more expensive because a normal meal in restaurant would cost about £8~£15 depend on different location. At last, below was some picture that I take throughout this day.

Overall I enjoyed myself very much while traveling alone although it is quite "scary" in some ways.
I am Happy for today!
=D
(Self Expenses note: Today £11.90)

Happiness is the state of being happy or an experience that makes you happy. As time goes by, I realized that nobody has the right answer to happiness. It is because the reason for being happy is different in each person and I heard that you're in trouble if you need a reason to be happy. In fact, happiness is a choice, you are the only person who can make you happy. Too much of others voices will eventually make you lost in someways.

After I had written so much feeling for such a long, I found that the main reason for being unhappy was probably due to my "old habit" when I am reluctant to change and kept "remorse" about my past. Furthermore, I didn't kept my promise to stop writing this blog. Honestly, I was terrified by so much information available on the internet. Sometime I tried not to read it because those negative news would make me felt worst as I will place myself in their shoe. (对号入座)

Well, if you have free time, do you mind to read some article that I found online such as "Couchsurfing's Sex Secret", "50 Reasons Why You May Unhappy", "Antisocial Personality Disorder", "31 Benefits of Gratitude"and a lot more. Actually I was trying to overcome my "silent/quiet" personality from the past because it will easily make others assume that you're unfriendly. Honestly, I didn't find much way to be more sociable when I did not talk much to my cousin and with her husband's parent.

In this moment of writing, I trying not to "cheat" myself by talking more happy and positive stuff. Seriously not much people would understand this kind of feeling and I am not trying to get "pity" from others people. What I can really say was "loneliness" really drive someone crazy because you will eventually start to think and assume a lot of problem that doesn't exist at the first place. Furthermore, those nonsense question such as faking a smile for not being authentic or whether I'm suppress/repress my emotion seems to be useless in the end. Perhaps one useful tips to happy is not to read or see so much news? (personally assumption)

Sometime I did questioned myself about my intention to write those travel post such as Greenwich day trip, just to let myself know that I'm exist or for showing off that I'm able to travel? In the end, this all lead to one question which is whether you're happy about what you're doing with your life. Perhaps the answer to be happy is to be gratitude about what I have. Before I end my post, I would like to share a meaningful sentence that is "You can't always be happy, but if you always strive to choose happiness, everyday you wake up and say, I am going to choose not to let the outside influences of the world affect my mood!" will definitely make your life happier.

Today I felt happy because I have learn something from a book named as "Business Model You" that share about self discovery. It had replaced career uncertainty with career confident by using a single page blueprint that helped reinvent thousand of organisation worldwide. This book helps to design a fulfilling life by shifting focus from skills to value provided. Frankly speaking, I realized the reason when I have so much nonsense thought was actually base on my own assumption and perception.

Furthermore, it was true that everything you perceive about your career, your love life, your family and friends, is not necessarily reality, it's merely your perception of reality. Problems arise when we assume that the "reality" we perceive is the reality. We invented it. We constructed it out of bits and pieces. We made it out of our mental models and then lived by their dictates. And having done all this, we proceeded to carry on with our lives without ever realizing that our mental models were made up merely of perceptions, not facts.

Basically this book focus on drawing a canvas, reflect, revise and act upon it as shown below.

There are 9 important building block by drafting a business model you starting from key partners, key activities, key resources, value prepositions, customer relationships, customer segments, channels, cost structure and revenue streams as shown below.

Seriously it is all about a person mindset and it is useless for me to keep on recall on the past. After all, there is no need to be remorseful as people will continue move on no matter what happen.

Somehow I do get some insight about creating value preposition to people by solving other "human problem." For example, I could create a website that can help "lonely" people to get out from loneliness feeling. It could be like a dating website although there is so much successful similar website idea available such as the "Wechat or Paktoh" apps. Anyway, what really drive a website to become successful was actually the passion behind. For instance, could you have the initiative/passion to wake up early in the morning and can't wait to start your work.

On the other hand, do you agree that everything great that happens in your career always starts with someone you know. You don't need to surf the net. Your next big break will not come from some mysterious technology, or discovery of new information. Your next big break will come from someone you know. So it is important to know more people as it is related to something like networking or finding a mentor to guide you. Honestly, I do feel that maybe I change my blog as a "book review blog" to create value for others people by inspiring them instead of talking my own personal problem.

It is because the secret to success might be the more you help other people solving their problem, you will gain more benefit to yourself in the end. At night, I do have a great conversation with my cousin by explaining the business model book that I had read. She told me that it is important to differentiate between "important task and urgent task." For example, going back to Malaysia to find a job is not an urgent task but improving my personal self development is an important task. Anyway, the way to overcome my own personal fear is by keep practicing.

For now, I could have a good reason to start a conversation by asking anyone with "I'm trying to improve my English, would you help me by having a little conversation?" Apparently, I should be more confidence by now as I shouldn't let people who does care for me influence my choice. Perhaps I had ignored the person that truly treated me well and pay attention on the wrong person. In conclusion, nobody has the right answer to happiness because the only person that can make you happy in yourself. Therefore I shouldn't have so much nonsense thought going on in my mind. At last, I hope I would enjoy myself to the maximum for the Oxford day trip. Happy life, here I come!
=D

Frankly speaking, I still using some positive mantra such as "I'm getting better and better everyday in every way" to cheer myself up before I do anything else. However, my nature's perception often make me assume that's was my reality as stated by the "Business model book" when I was try to convince myself that it is not. Anyway, today would be a good day as I was able to travel to Oxfordshire for a day trip. After I had taken my breakfast, I take the underground tube to Oxford Circus and change to Victoria station as I'd wait my friend there.

Along the journey, I was reading the "All Marketers Are Liars" by Seth Godin and found some interesting sentences as shown below.
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We believe what we want to believe, and once we believe something, it becomes a self-fulfilling truth. When you are busy telling stories to people who want to hear them, you’ll be tempted to tell stories that just don’t hold up. Lies. Deceptions. The thing is, lying doesn’t pay off any more. That’s because when you fabricate a story that just doesn’t hold up to scrutiny, you get caught. Fast.

Here are the questions I hope you’ll ask (your boss, your colleagues, your clients) after you’ve read this book:
“What’s your story?”
“Will the people who need to hear this story believe it?”
“Is it true?”

If what you’re doing matters, really matters, then I hope you’ll take the time to tell a story. A story that resonates and a story that can become true. So, go tell a story. If it doesn’t resonate, tell a different one. When you find a story that works, live that story, make it true, authentic and subject to scrutiny. All marketers are storytellers, only the losers are liars.
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Somehow I do feel myself seems to be a storyteller but the thing I shared was real although it might be based on my own assumption about certain things.

Upon arrival to Victoria station, I went to the nearest HSBC and withdraw £50 that cost for RM273.30 (RM5.446 per GBP). After my friend arrived, we took the X90 bus to Oxford and it cost £13 for student price which include the return ticket. During the moment in the bus, I get to know some story shared by friend about working illegally in UK. Honestly, I do felt quite envy when I heard that you could earn a clear profit about £1300 (around RM6700) per month working as a waiter as you don't need to pay for accommodation and your food because it is included.

Somehow my friend was right that it is useless to envy each other as I should be grateful about what I have. Anyway, the journey to Oxford took about 1 and half hour+ and we stop at St Aldates bus stop. Then we walk to one of the famous tourist attraction which is the Christ Church college and it cost £5.50 for student price as shown below.

Somehow we still need to wait until 2.30pm to go for the Great Hall which is one of the Harry Potter film take place.

Guess what, I do have a "funny" thought about my expectation versus reality about the Christ Church as shown below.

After that, we walk to Radcliffe Square which is one of the most beautiful spot in Oxford, containing the Radcliffe Camera in the center with the side of different corner building that is Bodleian Library, Brasenose College, All Souls College as shown below.

However, we couldn't enter some of the college as it is not open to visitor.

Next, we went to take picture at Hertford Bridge which is known as Bridge of Sighs as it is similar to the famous Bridge of Sighs in Venice and Cambridge as shown below.

After we bought our lunch at Cornish Kitchen, we went back to the Christ Church to go to the great hall as shown below.

The next destination we went to was Ashmolean Museum, Blackwell and Covered Market as shown below.

In deed it was a great experience although I didn't see much about the art displayed in Ashmolean Museum.

Around 5.40pm we make a move from there and finally reach Marble Arch station at 7.30pm as my friend went to Winter Wonderland as shown below.

During the night, I suddenly feel a little "down" when I read about something related to Borderline personality disorder (BPD) as I start to think some nonsense stuff. Perhaps it was due to looking some birthday related picture as it do make me think about my past. In fact, I didn't have the guts to face it although I know this is all based on my own assumption again.

After all, I still haven become successful yet and I found that the reason I feel so easily down was probably due to not having a job yet since I'm not using my future money for all the expenses as my own hard earned money have finished. Therefore the girl may look down on me based on my own assumption and imaginary which might be not true. Before I end my post, I would like to share an interesting picture about Love versus Lust as shown below.

Do you agree that Love is a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness while Lust is the feeling that is often mistaken for love at first sight. It s an intense and sudden attraction to somebody you hardly know. It is mistaken for love because the attraction is so strong. In conclusion, I don't have the exact answer on how to chase a girl or having a successful relationship after so many years had past. Seriously it was true that you only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough!
Cheer~
(Self Expenses note: Today £35)

Sooner or later, I would face the most "interesting" chapter of my life - decision to choose what kind of job that I would like to work for as there was so much company in Malaysia. Sometime I do feel frustrated when I spend so much time on researching about so many different kind of information and end up didn't remember much about it. This had happened the very same to the book that I had read. Can you imagine that when you have finished read a book but you can't make a summary out of the book that you had read? Somehow I tried to ~~copy~~ write down in my blog so that I could recall it later to strengthen my memory.

One of the book - "All the marketers ~~are liars~~ tell stories" did make me gain a lot of insight out of it. For instance, you don't get to just sit down and make up a story and expect that people will believe it merely because you want them to. Would you belief when I said the sushi at X restaurant tastes better if the chef is Japanese than the sushi in Y restaurant that prepared by local people. Well, you might not agree with my statement but somehow you will have a little perception that the sushi prepared by Japanese definitely more tasty.

In this moment of writing, I still haven settle my own personal problem about talking with people and it do affect a bit of my emotions. There was a picture about said by psychologists would have describe some of my past feelings as shown below. (try to understand people)

During the afternoon, I walked to the Ickenham library to have a better focus to read book. It was quite small and the weather was so cold as it is full of cloudy fog. The book that I read from there is "What Color Is Your Parachute 2010" that is a practical manual for job hunters and career changers.

In deed I agreed that having a passion is the main source to get your work done without feeling frustrated. The employer nowadays is looking for people who have talents, experience, persistence, self managed skills, people skills, responsibility and retention. Anyways, it is true that if you can't get a job, you should have this mantra which is "Those who are interested in hiring me for what I can do and those who are not, with the latter I should thank them for their time, and ask if they know any other employers who might interest in someone with my skills. Then gently take my leave, write and email them a thank you note at that night."

Honestly, I do feel worry about my future job when I doubt whether I want to apply for the same online marketing position or changing to a new field either in a bank or a retail merchandiser. The reason to stick with the online marketing was probably due to my current education as an e-commerce and marketing fresh graduate. In the end, nobody can decide for me other than myself. Anyway, I tried not to think about the worse case scenario although I'm will be in debt when I back to Malaysia. This could be my last moment to enjoy UK weather although I wish to go more place just like the Oxford trip yesterday.

Furthermore, I couldn't comment much about the currency rate of Ringgit Malaysia is getting weaker as it seems to be doesn't improve much. You could just imagine that working as a waiter illegally in UK could earn a clear profit of RM5000+ per month although the risk / drawback was getting blacklisted or deportation. In my opinion, I don't think anyone would risk to do that kind of job in foreign country if our country's currency is strong. Anyway, I shall be grateful to have the opportunity to stay and improve my English with reading, listening, speaking and writing skills.

Before I end my post, I would like to share a contest from iMoney and RHB Bank where you can stand a chance to win an iPhone 5S, 5C and Limited Edition Kakao Plush. It is because RHB Bank is celebrating their 100th anniversary, therefore they could give out for FREE as I know some of you might not believe it.
Below are the details of the contest and guide to join.
___________________________________
How To Participate :
1) Add “@iMoney” on KakaoTalk
2) Visit www.imoney.my/win-iphone to participate (submit your details at iMoney’s contest site )

Prizes :
Grand Prize : 1 X iPhone 5S
First Prize : 3 X iPhone 5C
Consolation Prize : 12 X Limited Edition Kakao Plush Friends Toys

Term and Condition :
1) Contest Period: 2-24th December 2013
2) Winner will be announced on RHB Group’s Facebook page: fb.com/RHBGroup

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Good luck to all winner that participated in this contest.
At last, today was a good day because the date is 11-12-13 which only happen once in the lifetime.

Today I couldn't manage well my time again. Somehow the "homesick" feeling came back again as it looks like I'm finding excuse to some matter. Well, some people might "envy" that I'm able to continue to stay in UK for a little more time. However, it is quite hard to explain this kind of feelings because I don't wish to let those negative thought took over me. Furthermore, it is better not to say something that is not nice to day because saying it may become it would just disgrace myself. What I can really say was my major problem is related to communication as I have been keep staying as "quiet/silent/creepy" person in home.

Anyway, I would like to share a song that is "Human" by Christina Perri in the Queen Latifah show together with its lyrics as shown below or the link >>> Here.

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I can hold my breath
I can bite my tongue
I can stay awake for days
If that's what you want
Be your number one

I can fake a smile
I can force a laugh
I can dance and play the part
If that's what you ask
Give you all I am

I can do it
I can do it
I can do it

But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
Cause I'm only human

I can turn it on
Be a good machine
I can hold the weight of worlds
If that's what you need
Be your everything

I can do it
I can do it
I'll get through it

But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
Cause I'm only human

I'm only human
I'm only human
Just a little human
I can take so much
Till I've had enough

Cause I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and i break down
your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
Cause I'm only human
____________________________________

The sentences that highlighted in purple is something that I felt about. Moreover, it was the second song that I liked from Christina Perri besides than her first song which is A Thousand Years. Besides, I realized that a scarf is a great stuff to get your body warm especially this coming winter. In addition, what do you do when you are lonely? Well, there are four main categories of coping strategies based on the research about loneliness done by Rubenstein and Shaver as shown below.

a) Active Solitude: This first type of coping is called active solitude. What this means is that when you feel lonely you have a tendency to engage yourself in active behaviors, like writing or reading, etc. These kinds of behaviors are generally believed to be healthy behaviors, since they tend to pull your mind away from the loneliness and direct your energies to something positive or creative. It is also generally believed that people who engage in active solitude tend to be individuals who suffer more from state loneliness than trait loneliness. That means that you are probably lonely because of some situation you presently find yourself in (like moving to a new area) and if the situation were to change you would probably feel a lot better. Your friends probably won't describe you as a very lonely person. Therefore active solitude is a good way in trying to deal with loneliness, especially if it is a situation you can't escape.

b) Spending Money: The second type of coping is called spending money. In general, it is thought that spending money can have some beneficial effects, because it gets you out of the house (assuming that you shop offline, in malls and shops) and meeting new people. But if your spending money doesn't cause you to get out the house and meet new people, then it probably isn't such of a good thing. The researchers studying this type of coping were a bit ambivalent as to whether this is a good or bad coping strategy. In any case, if you are spending money you don't have for things that you don't need, then this type of reaction to loneliness can prove to be extremely unhealthy. You should consider buying things that will cause you to be social with other people. The important thing is, when you feel lonely, get up, get out the house, got out to the malls, see what they have, and just look around without spending too much. Perhaps you can leave your credit cards and money at home, so that you will be forced not to spend anything. And carry a friend with you and see the sites together.

c) Social Contact: This third type of coping to loneliness is called social contact. In general, it entails trying to call a friend, going to visit someone or trying to establish some kind of social contact when you have feelings of loneliness. The researchers thought that social contact may be a good way of dealing with loneliness. In general though, you should not be burdening your friends with constant calls for social contact. But if you have friends to talk to, and yet you still feel lonely, you should stop and ask yourself, why? Maybe the relationships you have aren't as fulfilling as you'd like them to be. Maybe you need to go out there and make some new friends who can satisfy the need for a deeper relationship. Maybe you should take one of your present relationships to a deeper level. Something to think about.

d) Sad Passivity: Out of all the types of coping strategies to loneliness, this is the most looked down upon. But don't despair. Sad passivity means that you are involving yourself in types of behaviors that amplify your loneliness instead of relieving it. These behaviors include such things as watching TV, sleeping, eating, taking tranquilizers (or alcohol, etc), sitting and thinking and doing nothing. By engaging in these types of behaviors it only makes your situation worse, and the loneliness only pains you more sometimes. But you probably feel powerless to do anything to change your situation. You have to make a conscious decision to stop this sad passivity and move onto something more positive. Take it one step at a time, find a new hobby, go out and join a new club, pick up exercising, find something useful to do with your time, something that will make you a better person. Find someone to talk to about your loneliness. It's okay to feel lonely, but it's not okay to keep feeling lonely all the time. It's time to move up and move on!

At last, I would like to share a meaningful picture that is "If you're always racing to the next moment what happens to the one you're in?" as shown below.

Therefore we should enjoy our present instead of keep thinking about the next moment. Anyway, feel free to join the iMoney + RHB Bank contest to win iPhone 5S, 5C and limited edition KakaoTalk plush. Good Night!
=)

You Were Born An Original, Don't Die A Copy

Learning From Mentors

Foyles Bookstore and Misato Japanese Restaurant London Experiences

Training My Ability To Research And Present Information

Reblogged 10 Negative Thoughts We All Have And What We Should Think Instead

Over Positive Can Be Counterproductive?

Finding Excuse Is Cheating Yourself

Introversion Life?

Winter Wonderland Hyde Park London Ice Mountain Experience

How High Will You Fly The Icarus Deception

Improve English With Reading, Listening, Speaking, Writing Skills

Do You Respect Your Time?

Self Improvement For Personal Growth

Single Women Get Desperate After 30+ Year Old?

Greenwich, Cutty Sark, National Maritime Museum, Arsenal Stadium, Chelsea FC, Wembly Arena Day Trip Experience

Nobody Has The Right Answer To Happiness

Business Model You About Self Discovery

Oxford Christ Church, Radcliffe Square, Hertford Bridge, Ashmolean Museum, Blackwell, Covered Market Day Trip Experience

iMoney + RHB Bank Contest To Win iPhone 5S, 5C And Limited Edition KakaoTalk Plush

Human Song By Christina Perri