! A Growing Teenager Diary !

This morning I followed my cousin to the nearby elementary school to see her children's performance for the advance celebration of Christmas. Well, it does make me think about my past as a toddler although I couldn't recall back much memory when I was young. Anyway, I learnt that I will spend some time with my "future children" (if I had) by going this kind of similar activities. Furthermore, I start to like the western culture where they will "kiss/hug/cuddle" their children more than any Asian people will do based on my own assumption.

During the afternoon, I was getting conflicted within myself about some thought. Suddenly I saw a video that is similar to my problem where I'm having depression with a black dog. Seriously it is so true that my biggest fear was being found out that I had such a "ugly thought" in my past as I wondered how others people will judge me. It is probably one of the reason that why I'm afraid to disclose my identity in public. Those nonsense thought was like "Who really want to know *this lonely reload* person is so lonely? What is his intention behind by keep embracing the *Mr Lonely* keyword?

In fact, all this kind of "self talking using blog" activity seems to be bring me harm and get myself devoured in the end. There has been a lot of blogger activity that I had been missed out due to my own "protect/stay anonymous" policy as I'm afraid to disclose myself. Anyway, I would like to share "I had a black dog, his name was depression" by Matthew Johnstone with its transcript as shown below or the link >>> Here.

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I had a black dog, his name was Depression. Whenever the black dog made an appearance, I felt empty and life just seemed to slow down. He could surprise me with the visit for no reason or occasion. The black dog could made me look and feel older than my years.

When the rest of the world seemed to be enjoying life, I could only see it through the black dog. Activities that usually brought me pleasure suddenly ceased to. He liked to ruin my appetite. He chewed up my memory and my ability to concentrate. Doing anything or going anywhere with black dog required superhuman strength.

At social occasions, he would sniff out what confidence I had and chase it away. My biggest fear was being found out; I worried that people might judge me. Because of the shame and stigma of the black dog, I was constantly worried about being found out.

So I invested a vast amount of energy to covering him up. Keeping up an emotional life is exhausting! Black dog could make me think and say negative things. He could make me irritable and difficult to be around. He would take my love and bury my intimacy. He loved nothing more than to wake me with highly repetitive negative thinking. He also liked to remind me how exhausted I was going to be the next day.

Having a black dog in your life is not so much about feeling a bit down, sad or blue. At its worst, it is about being devoid of feeling altogether. As I grew older, black dog got bigger and he started hanging around all the time. I chased them off with whatever I thought might send him running. But more often than not, he would come out on top. Going down became easier than getting up again.

So I became rather good at self medication, which never really helped. Eventually I felt totally isolated from everything and everyone. The black dog had finally succeeded in hijacking my life. When you lose all joy in life you can begin to question at the point of it is?

Thankfully this was time when I sought professional help. This was my first step towards recovery and was a major turning point in my life. I learnt that it does not matter who you are, the black dog affects millions and millions of people. It is an equal opportunity mangrove. I also learnt that there was no silver bullet or magic pill. Medication can help some and others might need different approach altogether.

I also learnt that being emotionally genuine or authentic to those who close to you can be an absolute game changer. Most importantly I learnt not to be afraid of black dog and taught him a few tricks of my own. The more tired or stressed you get the louder he barks. It is important to learn how to quiet your mind.

It's been clinically proven that regular exercise can be as effective for treating mild to moderate depression as antidepressant. So go for a walk or run and leave the mutt behind. Keep a mood journal, getting your thoughts on paper can be cathartic and often insightful. Also keep track of the things you have to be grateful for.

The most important thing to remember is that no matter how bad it gets, if you take the right steps, talk to the right people, black dog days can and will pass. I wouldn't say that I am grateful for the black dog. But he has been an incredible teacher. He forced me to re-evaluate and simplify my life. I learnt that rather than running away from my problems, it is better to embrace them.

The black dog may always be a part of my life. But he would never be the beast that it was. We have an understanding now. I've learnt through knowledge, patience, discipline and humour, the worst black dog can be made to heel. If you are in difficulty, never be afraid to ask for help. There is absolutely no shame in doing so, the only shame is missing out of life.
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The sentences that highlighted in colour is somehow the feeling that I felt. Frankly speaking, I do know that I shall leave all this nonsense thought by quitting blogging but somehow it seems to keep "finding it ways to connect back with me" because it has become a channel for me to express my thought long time ago. Feel free to have a look "The Black Dog Causes and Cures for Depression" by Professor Glenn D. Wilson as below or the link >>> Here.

During the night, I did have some "awkward moment" while having the dinner as I can't think about the topic to talk about. Somehow I don't really know my situation will get better or not although I keep telling myself that I'm getting better and better everyday in every way. Regarding the marketing proposal, I still haven done yet and feel bad about it. At last, I just listen to "Human" song by Christina Perri to distract my feelings.

>.<

Wow, what a day. I was getting distracted by "the black dog" in some way but I'm able to cope away with it. One of the way is to walk out from the house to get myself refresh. Actually I had been keep finding excuse to not going out and delay it but thanks to my cousin who keep encourage me in all sort of forms. Well, I just walk to the nearby Ruislip High Street during the "evening" although it is just 3pm and took some picture as shown below.

Sometime I just don't understand why I always let the "black dog" influence me as I'm getting used to it.

Perhaps it is due to the "How to Embrace Your Inner Crazy for Psychological Benefits" picture by best psychology degrees as shown below.

Seriously I do understand that it might bring "harm" to me when I keep telling myself the same thing over and over again. Anyway, it is useless to keep assume thing when I have those nonsense thoughts as I'm having Bipolar disorder, also known as bipolar affective disorder, manic-depressive disorder, or manic depression, is a mental illness classified by psychiatry as a mood disorder.

During the night, I watched Die Hard 1.0 with a vengeance movie (1995) from the TV and it was nice although it is an old movie. Later on, I do have some great conversation with my cousin again. It seems that I kept finding a lot of excuse to cover up my weakness and what she said was quite meaningful. For example, the thing you do, watch, read or any activities will somehow influence your life. The lesson that I listen from her was "you need to be very conscious about the thing that you do." Based on my understanding, I might understand a lot of reason why some people are avoiding others or selecting your friends.

Guess it might be true that you need find someone who can pull you up instead of letting you down. The caring personality always happening in two instead of one ways just like in a relationships. If the guy love a girl very much, but the girl didn't like the guy, it will not work out in the end. Furthermore, you need to choose wisely between doing important stuff and leave those unimportant things because your time is limited as you just live only once in this life. Besides, I would like to share a video about "The Power of Empathy" versus Sympathy as shown below or the link >>> Here.

Frankly speaking, I do have the "对号入座" (include situations when someone jumps out and assumes that a criticism or comment is about them) feeling again when she say some others example. Before I end my post, I would like to share the 7 steps to happiness as shown below.

Be Happy!
=D

During the morning, I was awaken by a weird dream as it seems quite real. In that dream, I meet an ex-college classmate in London cinema and decided follow her to watch the "Finding Nemo 3D" movie that cost about £30. Well, the reason why I said it seems real to me because the scene in the dream was quite realistic when we took a picture in front of the cinema. Anyway, it has been a long time that I didn't have such dream. Unfortunately, I was having sore throat infection as I start to have those "compliment" illness following all together.

I guess the reason why the sore throat infection coming back again was probably due to eating some curry as I didn't drink much water after taken the meal. Actually I did drank a lot of water yesterday when I start to feel to have a little sore throat. However, it seems to getting more serious during this morning. It had started with a minor sore throat, then minor fever, followed by running nose, cough, continued with headache, body ache and eventually tiredness. Frankly speaking, my plan for today was walking to Hillingdon town center to get myself refresh but I couldn't do so looking at my current situation.

After I had taken my lunch, I have some chat with my brother and I do appreciate his birthday wish. For now, I really miss Malaysia so much and he was right that I should keep concentrate improve myself and complete my working resume. During the evening, I took some Panadol (paracetamol) and go to rest. Seriously I don't wish to go to see doctor because it is quite expensive as the fee to seek doctor and get your medicine from pharmacy store is in separated bill. Therefore I hope it will "cure automatically" by drinking more water or chrysanthemum tea.

The moment I woke up again was 6.20pm and I do felt lazy to do my "assignment" although I know that I had been delayed it for some time. In fact, I do agreed with what my cousin say that it is all depend whether you had the determination to become successful because a successful person would not find any excuse and they are willing to sacrifice their time to reach their goal. Furthermore, I do know that there is few thing that is not good to say such as if a person can say something about someone, it might probably happened same to you as well.

Somehow I don't really want to be "对号入座" (self assumption) in the similar situation. However, one thing that I'm very sure is that I had owe my cousin favor "欠人家人情" although she said that I don't need to repay back. Honestly, the feeling of "owe someone's a favour" is not really good to experience although I know I shall be grateful to have such an opportunity. Perhaps in future I shall return back by helping her children if they faced any difficulties. At this point of writing, I did know that it is meaningless to keep repeat the same thing all over again as it seems like I'm just self comfort myself to feel better in some way.

In addition, I don't really have the exact answer for getting employed when I asked myself deeply why I seems to be so happy to work for other people. There is one thing that I think might be true about working for your own company would probably bring more opportunity. Well, you could think critically that no boss could really to have so much capability to do so many thing at the same time without their employer. You can see that those marketer who work for a firm by contribute more new idea will eventually benefit the firm in the long term even when they are being sacked.

Hence, you could see the job market will eventually end up more employer who complain about their work for not getting paid enough (just like me in future) instead of creating something for themselves. (probably due to laziness?) Apparently I admit that knowing and taking action to do something is totally two different things although I know that I'm still living in my own fantasy is not a good choice too. Before I end my post, I would like to share a cute comic picture about power of imagination as shown below.

Is there any girl that I can save now? Do you miss the girl that you once liked? (LOL) What a silly thought I had. Afterall, I'm just a human.
~.~

Hey, I wanted to say something, but I don't know how to start it when I was writing this blog post and my sore throat infection still haven fully cure yet. Anyway, my relative's husband have invited me to his office this morning. After I get myself prepared and make some sandwich for my lunch, we make a move around 9.30am and the journey to the office took about 30 minutes to reach there. Upon arrival, I do felt that I'm visiting some sort of historical building instead of office building as shown picture below.

Well, there is not much people in there and I just started to discuss some of my online marketing plan.

Frankly speaking, I do get annoyed with myself when I talk more about the e-marketing plan to increase awareness partly because of my own personal problem. In fact, I couldn't blame anyone because it is my own choice to study "E-commerce and Marketing" course in Tarc college (Tarcuc) continued with Sheffield Hallam University (SHU) and I had finally graduate as a Bachelor of Arts with Honours in Business in E-Commerce and Marketing. (feeling proud now? but who would really know the drawback when you acquire a higher education?)

One of the reason that make me felt pressure is that I will not probably accept a lower pay job when compared to my previous job using my advance diploma certificate. Apparently I had come to this far (study abroad in UK) and the drawback will be some debt awaiting me to clear off. Isn't it irony that you could earn a clear profit of RM5,000+ (accommodation and food is covered) by becoming a "waiter/washing plate" in UK while a lot of people struggling to earn that just RM3,000 job (without minus those EPF, food, accommodation, loan and etc) if you're lucky back in Malaysia.

Anyway, there is too much argument about working that kind of job since there is no right and wrong as it is based on different perspective of a person. Guess the reason I felt a little dissatisfied with my decision was probably because I wasn't in any of those category during my stay in UK other than finding way to improve my English. (How great if I had followed my friend working illegally in UK for 3 month and I might be carrying RM15,000+ cash back to Malaysia?) However, talking anything is useless now since it was my last few weeks before going back to Malaysia to start the "slavery" job working for others people.

During the evening, I just felt that the time past so fast again as the sky became dark at 4pm. Besides, I didn't manage to finish the marketing plan again when my mind is full of thought due to being busybody. Those "busybody" topic include one of my primary school friend is getting married and she was one of my friend's friend as it suddenly make me think about someone. Well, I guess most of the woman would probably getting married to someone who is older than them. If I didn't waste my time thinking those nonsense and focus on do the important stuff, I might be getting married by the age of 25+.

Looking at my current financial situation, I have a thought that I will not getting married until I reach the age of 30. Maybe this is the reason why so many "uncle" get to marry to those girls who range from 20 to 25 years old. In addition, we can't blame those girls who choose older man as their life partner because they are more financial stable and matured than us. In fact, I did have a feeling that if a guy did not have his own financial ability, he will eventually lose the confident to chance any girl based on my own assumption. Afterall, I'm just a guy who keep complaint without much real action to improve. (我没有权利抱怨)

Another issue that make me become busybody was about a 21 year old guy go "cheong" (finding chicken if you know what I mean) although he already have a girlfriend to satisfy his XXX need. However, I get calm down when I asked myself deeper the reason that make me felt annoyed such as "Why you want to keep your virgin for so long? (i mean real sxx, masturbation not included) Is this something should be proud of that you can tell your future children? Or because I heard too many guy say the same thing all over again about getting laid as you will not feel lonely?" and I know it was just my impulse thought when I saw such things.

OMG !!! My time seems to be passed so fast again when I spend some time writing this post. Perhaps this would be the reason why I had those so call "black dog depression" when I spend my time doing the wrong stuff such as writing this post. If I really think in a conscious way, I wouldn't log in my Facebook or visit the forum on the first place if I really want to get my stuff done right? (feel bad because I keep say quit blogging but still choose to continue write this post, old habits can't change instantly?) In the end, I know I might get devoured within myself if I kept staying on the same situation.

During the night, I was having some great conversation with my cousin after I had taken my dinner. It seems that she was right that most of the social media / application might ruin someone real life activity as their intention was just a facilitator apps. What really matters at the end of the day is someone in real life who really care for you. For instance, when you're sick, does your Facebook/Blogger/online/any social network friend will come to visits you in real life to care for you? Furthermore, life is just a waste if you keep care for the others people voices that they doesn't care for you in the first place.

In fact, people who contribute or share thing without having the intention to get anything in return is the most humble person that you should be friend with. Furthermore, the world will not end even if you didn't update or write any post because life still goes on without any consequences. On the other hand, my deadline for finishing up the marketing plan would be this coming Wednesday and next week I might be spending 6 days in my relative grandparent house. Therefore I might not be able to update.and it would be a no internet world for someone who is social addict in someway.

At last, today was my 23rd birthday and it seems to be quite "lonely" in someway although I have some social media friend who had wished me a happy birthday. Well, Google does wish me birthday too as shown below.

Suddenly I do felt that another year has just passed again with a blink of eye. Honestly, I don't feel to read back or link my 22nd birthday blog post because I felt ashamed that I had written some not very good stuff.

Perhaps this is the reason why it is not good to have some "history diary" since you can recall back as it is like happening yesterday. Anyway, this year I don't have any cake to blow again and start to feel that it isn't a big deal whether how you want to celebrate your birthday. Perhaps I should be happy that at least I have a virtual birthday cake although I felt myself like a Harry Potter in someway as shown below? (Happy Birthday Lonely Reload! LOL)

Before I end my post, I like to share a thousand years song as shown below or the link >>> Here.

At last, I shall be grateful of what I have and should be happy that the decision to stay in UK was great as I am able to make new international friend by attending the super ~~expensive~~ intensive English course in Holborn. Furthermore, I do keep telling myself to let go/forget about the RM800+ (total airport tax+trip) to Dubai trip although the feeling is like getting cheated by STA Travel agency when the agent told me that my ticket has been reissued and there will be no chances to go already unless I pay for the reissue fee again plus a single occupancy rate. Guess this is what people say that you can only choose to get a thing while lost the another part just like I had chosen to study for the English and the thing I sacrifice was my time and money. Overall I just told myself to be grateful and don't be so calculative about life.
=)

Early in the morning, my sore throat illness still haven fully cure yet although I had drank a lot of water. (depend on Panadol?) Anyway, I followed my cousin's husband to his office again after I had taken my breakfast. The morning was cold and I do know this would be the last few moment that I could enjoy the chill weather in UK before going back to Malaysia. Upon arrival, the weather was great and I do took some picture as a visitor as shown below.

Well, I get to know a new colleagues although I do felt quite awkward in some way.

During the afternoon, I had taken some sandwich as my lunch and continue edit the e-marketing plan. Somehow I do felt thankful to one of the colleague that helped me in correcting some grammar mistake on the business proposal plan. When I arrived back home, I felt happy and thankful to my cousin who celebrated my 23rd birthday with a home made birthday cake together with her children. During the night, I just read some book again. Well, I was quite agree with the "All marketers ~~are liars~~ tell stories" book by Seth Godin about most marketing effort fails and there are few steps to a successful marketing.

One of step is about the consumer's worldview affects the way he notices things and understand them because if a story is framed in terms of that worldview, he's more likely to believe it. We all want to be safe, healthy, successful, loved, respected, happy, fit, good friends, clean world and have enough money to buy whatever we want. But if we all want the same things, why do we take so many opposite tacks to get there? The great failure of marketing theory is its inability to explain variety. No marketer can tell you in advance that an advertisement is going to work or a new product is going to be successful.

The explanation for this variety lies in the worldview that all consumers carry around and it turns out that we don't want all the same things. Each person has a different biases, values and assumptions as those worldview is influence by their parents, schools, friends, places and the experiences they've had to date. Their worldview is the lens they use to determine whether or not they're going to believe a story. Furthermore, I do agree with him about what's attention worth because marketers that fail are often impatient and selfish since they won't invest in the long-term job of earning familiarity, permission and trust.

Anyway, I can say that marketing for our generation is much more competitive when compared to the olden days because we're loaded with full of information with just a simple search on Google. The marketing gimmick that you use today will no longer work effectively when your competitor follow it as the market keep changing. Before I end my post, I would like to share some information about Youths Today marketing role in Malaysia as shown below.
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YToday Sdn Bhd is launching Malaysia's first online youth engagement and rewarding website, Youths Today for event organizers, youths and brands at www.youthstoday.com on the KFC Youth Jam 2013 event by 13th October 2013 (10 a.m – 6 p.m) at Sunway University.

The objective of launching the website on the KFC Youth Jam 2013 is for the public to explore the functionality of Youths Today website and an invitation to create a difference for the young community. This new website with more than 10,000 youth members currently, serves as a platform for event organizers, youths and brands to feature their campaigns and events to gain high exposure and visibility. It is also invented in a way for brands to carry out the marketing campaigns and advertise their products and services targeting the youth market. On the other hand, participants will be rewarded for attending the events organized by the organizers with the points. Upon collections of points, the participants get to exchange rewards from the brands, thus, the point system serves as a motivation for especially the young people to achieve more and better.

The KFC Youth Jam 2013 will feature events organized by the youth using the platform provided on YouthsToday.com, the events are KFC Big Eat Contest, Incitement Talks, Running Man Hunt, Entrepreneur Challenge, Book for Thoughts, Talent Search and Speed Video Competition. Thousands of points sponsored by the brands will be given out to the public to redeem.

"It is an entire ecosystem that supports the development of young people to be able to organize more events and have their projects funded and supported. The company believes that events are the best youth development tool for youths to enhance their creativity, networking skills, communication skills and management skills. It bridges the gap and provides more opportunity for youths to gain excess to national events and experiences like never before. The company also urges and welcomes event organizers to feature their events in YouthsToday", says the 23-year-old young entrepreneur Jazz Tan Yee Mei, CEO of YToday Sdn Bhd.

YToday Sdn Bhd is forging strong partnerships with heavyweight brands such as KFC, Maxis Telecommunication, Sunway Group, Groupon, Bloomberg, Himalaya, Chatime Malaysia, Entrepreneur Organization (Malaysia Chapter), Redbox Malaysia, SCOPE, KKBOX, British Council, FlyFM, 8TV and Media Prima Group to support this mega event.

About YToday Sdn Bhd
YToday Sdn Bhd, established in 2013, a youth development; marketing and digital advertising company that helps connect brands and government agencies to youth in a creative and exciting way. It is started by Jazz Tan Yee Mei, CEO, 23 years old. An Honours Bachelor’s of Computer Science at Northumbria University and award recipient for:
•British Council and Guinness Arthur Berhad Social Enterprise Winner 2013
•Prestige Magazine Top 40 Under 40 2013
•Global Student Entrepreneur Award Champion
•New York GSEA Finalist 2011
•Dana Belia RM150,000
•NTV7 and DiGi The Next Level Finalist
•MSC-MDEC Best Business Model

The Vision of the company is taking on South East Asia by year 2014 and introduces YouthsToday.com to Asia and Europe by 2015. The company seeks to be the World’s Leading Youth Experience Enrichment Provider connecting hundreds of brands to youth projects. The company’s mission is also to change the way advertisers spend their dollars on marketing that actually brings value to humanity and positive change to the community.
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At last, I would like to share an interesting video about reason why you should stop watching XXX right now as shown below or the link >>> Here.

Somehow I was quite agree with some of the point that had mentioned in the video about Hedonic adaptation which is where your brain grows accustomed to new titillating stimulation and eventually, that titillating stimulation has less and less effect, so that it doesn’t really have as much punch as it used to the first, second or third time. Isn't it irony for "lonely" people to be categorize as such person especially when they do not have any girlfriend or hang out with any girl. Overall I'm trying to get myself to be more sociable with real person instead of keep self talking online. In addition, it is better not to let others people to label you. After all, it is you who responsible for your happiness.
Be Happy~
=D

Another day in UK has passed away. Somehow I do asked myself the same question over and over again whether I had done something that was worthwhile doing or not. The truth is, I was still stick to some of my "olden bad habits". This can be seen in a simple way such as waking up in the morning. Actually I had awakens around 6.55am but eventually fall asleep as I woke up again at 8.50am. Hence, I seems to be not really want that bad to be success in my life as I read a lot article mention that successful people would eventually wake up early and they will not find any excuse to not do the task that they had planned ahead.

During this day, I spend some time with my cousin's children while continue to do my "assignment" although it still uncompleted. After taken my dinner, I was having a great conversation with my cousin again. She really wanted me to improve myself tremendously and I do feel a little bad for myself. In fact, she was right by saying that "no matter what you do, make sure you're able to face yourself at the end of the day" because some of my idea for making money tends to be not creating much value to others people. For instance, if you plan to open an illegal online gambling website, what value that you could provide to people?

Furthermore, it is a matter whether your "dark secret" is something to be proud of and you can share with other people about your success story. (问心无愧) Somehow I also agree that adding value to someone's life is nothing to do with money. It is because people will eventually respect you and believe what you said if you help them improve their life in a meaningful way. Nevertheless, it is important to help people in a genuine and authentic way without having any motive behind or any reward in return. I believe the most humble person will eventually get 10 times or more reward even if no one see their good deeds.

Somehow I just told myself to not having those nonsense and self assumption thoughts. Besides, there are many ways to add value to someone life such as giving guidance to someone on how to do something, help a friend who in need, create things that can make life easier, listen to someone problem, inspire people to do something, be there for somebody, love people in a sincere way and other good moral value. Honestly, I'm not a very good person and sometime I'm trying to be someone that I'm not such as copy paste stuff but I do hope that I can able to show some mistaken that I had done wrong.

After all, i had been living in a world that full of self assumption but I'm trying to change myself to have a new perspective about life. On the other hand, I was worry about my hemorrhoid again as there was some blood. Somehow I do wonder it is probably because I sit too much? Before I end my post, I would like to share a news about celebrate Christmas with Tutti Frutti Frozen Yogurt and stand a chance to win RM30 cash voucher as shown below.
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Great News! Pocket Arena has partnered with Tutti Frutti Frozen Yogurt to present you with the “Tutti Frutti X’mas Challenge”, an in-game competition celebrating the Christmas spirit.

First Challenge: 10 Dec – 16 Dec 2013
Second Challenge: 17 Dec – 31 Dec 2013

When the challenge ends, if you have earned yourself a place in Top 3 on our leaderboard we will reward you with a RM30 Tutti Frutti Voucher!

Tutti Frutti Frozen Yogurt originated in California, United States. As the largest retailer of specialty self-serve premium frozen yogurt in the world, Tutti Frutti has more than 600 outlets across 24 countries worldwide. Tutti Frutti Frozen Yogurt won the Malaysia Franchise Awards 2012 – Best Franchise of The Year and is the fastest growing franchise network and leading chain of self-serve premium frozen yogurt in Malaysia, with more than 100 outlets.

Mini Games, Big Events
Pocket Arena is a specialised mobile gaming marketing solution that targets and engages global audiences through mini-games and localised in-game events.
Pocket Arena games are now available on Google Play, including Catch a Number, Mini Golf Theme Park, 3D Roller Coaster Rush, Tower Bloxx, Shaolin Jump, and Jungle Blitz .

How to participate in our Tutti Frutti X’mas Challenge
1) Download the Pocket Arena games for FREE (3D Rollercoaster Rush & Tower Bloxx)
2) Sign up to become a Pocket Arena member
3) Finish in the top 3 on our leaderboard

How to Play

We will notify all winners by email when the event has finished, so don’t worry if you can’t access the app on results day. You can also check the list of winners here. Your prize code will be sent to the email address you used to register, so please check your verified address is correct.

This won’t be our only event, but don’t worry; you can enter as many as you like, in fact we encourage it – there is absolutely no limit.
Happy holidays and start challenging your friends to win!
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At last, I still haven found out yet which part I want to be specific in writing such as movie, food, game, contest, car or any other review. Apparently I seems to be accepting "new things" although it looks like that I no longer be myself. Anyway, sorry if I didn't add much value to others and it is just a part of life as a "youth", why so serious?
Be happy!
=)

Over time, I found myself keep falling the same trap over and over again. Actually I do know that self discipline is important for a person to determine whether he will be successful or not. This could be seen from a simple task such as waking up early in the morning. By now I agreed that if a person wake up late, he/she seems to be not having well planned about what they want to do with their life. Frankly speaking, I do felt that life after college/university/academic school seems to be depending on your own. There will be no one to tell you what you should do with your life and it is all about what is the steps that you had take action to move to your next goal? Do you believe that until this moment, I don't really have the "strong iron heart" to pursue my goal other than ~~whining~~ writing?

Somehow I do felt that a higher educated person seems to be having more stress than those lower educated person. (after SPM without continue further study.) Sorry if I get anyone offended saying that lower educated person didn't suffer much stress.) The reason why I said so was due to after spending so much $$ on the education system, there is no turning back to getting a lower paid job partly because of variance reason such as "peer pressure", "repaying high interest loan", "face problem" and others. For instance, most of my friend would have already working would probably start to compare "who or which" friend earn more money. The things that I can do now was just keep telling myself is to not keep compare myself with others because even if your friend earn RM10,000+, it does really affect your life when you think it deeply.

In fact, everyone has their own problem personal too and what we really can do was to cheer ourselves up in a positive mood.. Below are some life lesson that make me feel quite meaningful by Patel as shown below.
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1) Bad days do not last forever, neither do good days. Learn to handle the situation during the bad times and cherish all the good times.

2) Each person that you’ve encountered with in your life has played some type of role which you have grown as a person. Do not forget them.

3) Learn to love yourself before getting into a relationship. Don’t be in a relationship for reassurance of how pretty you are. You’ll never believe it

4) If you love someone, tell them, whether it’s your significant other, family members, or friends.

5) Do not stress over situations in your life that cannot be controlled. It’s easier said than done, but it’s something to learn to handle as young adults. Life is never going to get any easier.

6) If you’re making more than an average person, help those that are less fortunate than you are.

7) Social media is great, but don’t invest so much of your time on it.

8) Failure just makes you stronger. You’ll be able to say you’ve experienced rough times that made you into who you are today.

9) Learn to make your own decisions. It’s good to ask for advice from your peers, but at the end of the day, learn to take the risk on your own terms.

10) Love what you do for a living. Not everyone loves their job, but this is the time to figure out what you are passionate about. Take the risk to try something new.
________________________________________

On the other hand, I also read a book named Purple cow by Seth Godin. There is one thing that I is quite interesting to share the sad truth about marketing. Any product or service that are targeted to consumer or operations is most people can't buy your product, either they don't have the money, time or they don't want it. If an audience doesn't have the money to buy what you're selling at the price you need to sell for, you don't have a market. If the audience doesn't have the time to listen and understand your pitch idea, you'll be treated as an invisible person. If an audience take the time to hear your pitch idea but decided they don't want to, you're not going to get very far. It is because the world has changed as there are far more choices, but there is less and less time to sort them out.

Hence, if you could think about a product or services that can solve sophisticated problem and can add value to someone life, it might have a higher chance to become successful. Honestly, I start feel myself get "moved" to accept writing some review and get a little monetary benefit. Perhaps this might be the reason why some blogger could earn some extra money/perks/benefits by writing in part time. However, the drawback would be "reputation get damaged" and eventually getting less credibility when they found out you write something good about a product or services offered by a company. Anyway, it is useless to think about some nonsense thoughts such as being hypocrite or anything else because in the end, you only need to answer to yourself about all the decision that being made.

During the night, I didn't manage to have more conversation and start to feel quite stress about myself because next week will be going to my cousin's parent house. Besides, my assignment didn't complete and I made a bad decision for thinking too much. Before I end my post, I would like to share a start-up website about selling your used book or buy a book with cheaper price. The website offer a smarter way for Malaysian student to save money on buying books. Furthermore, the more you give, the more you will get in return and I start to realize that why generous people will be blessed with a lot of good things.
Cheer~
=D

Apparently, I was still finding the things that I really like to do when the book that I read upon saying that you will find your passion if the thing you're doing can make your time past fast without your notice and you always feel energetic when doing it. (too educated? lol) However, I seems to "fall apart" and over think when I write more and more. At sometime I even think that writing this post seems to be just useless because there is no need to recall happy or sad moment. Furthermore, the objective blogging seems to be not very clear and often change to something that I not used to be such as writing more about review post. Anyway, I am doing the same thing over and over again by writing my own stuff again.

During the morning, I was "lazy+afraid" to wake up early. I was accidentally awakens around 3.30am yesterday. After I had taken my breakfast and get myself prepared, I make a move from home around 10.40am and bought the £8.90 daily travel card. The first stop that I went to was Shepherd's Bush Market as I change from White City to Wood Lane underground while passing by the BBC television centre. The market seems to be full of "Halal" product and it is quite long as shown below.

After that, I took the train to Hammersmith and withdraw some money from HSBC bank as the currency exchange was around RM277.74 for £50 (RM5.5548 per GBP) that deducted in my account.

Then I walk around the area and took the train to Kew Gardens. Well, I didn't go inside the Kew Garden's although it cost about £12.50 for student price and I just took some picture as shown below.

Therefore I just took the train back to Hammersmith as I need to buy some chocolate from the nearby supermarket and spend 5 for the spicy chicken set at Wasabi Japanese restaurant as below.

After taken my lunch, I took the train to Covent Garden to collect the Lion King ticket from Lyceum Theatre that my cousin bought for me as my 23rd birthday gift as shown below.

Somehow I felt a little "unfair" when the cashier give me the last row of the seat.

After that, I walk around the Covent Garden market and there was some performance as shown below.

Then I took the underground train to Holborn and change to Oxford Circus because I want to go Hamleys Toy Shop near Oxford Street as shown below.

Well, I spend about 2 hour+ to find the suitable toys with my limited budget before paid the £41 total for the toys to my cousin's children.

Besides, there is some entertainment activity for children near the Leicester Square as shown below.

Around 5pm I walked back to the Lyceum Theatre to find some place to sit.

Then I just ordered a Chocolate cream drinks for £3.70 at the nearby Starbucks coffee shop while waiting my time to pass by surfing internet as below.

Around 7pm I walk back to the Lyceum Theatre to watch the Lion King Musical performance and they don't allow anyone taking picture during the show start as below.

Since I was sitting at the back, I decided to rent the Binocular for £1 as shown below. (can't refund, T.T)

Well, the scenario of the musical was similar to the Youtube video as shown below or the link >>> Here.

Unfortunately I couldn't see clearly since I sat at behind.

Below was some information about the Lion King from Wiki.
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The Lion King is a musical based on the 1994 Disney animated film of the same name with music by Elton John and lyrics by Tim Rice along with the musical score created by Hans Zimmer with choral arrangements by Lebo M. Directed by Julie Taymor, the musical features actors in animal costumes as well as giant, hollow puppets. The show is produced by Disney Theatrical.
____________________________________
Overall I feel it is quite okay to watch although it might not worth as it cost about £39.20 for the ticket that my cousin book online and my review may not be counted since I'm person who face computer everyday.

However, I do feel that the Phantom of Opera at Her Majesty's Theatre is more much worth than watching the Lion King. After the show finish, I walked to Charing Cross to buy some food at Mcdonald as my dinner. Finally I took the train to Tottenham Court Road to go to West Ruslip. There is a picture that I found quite interesting to share that is "When feeling sick or suffering pain, it’s tempting to try and stop the train. But reaching out for the alarm, can actually cause a lot more harm. And that’s the simple explanation, why you should wait until the station. Please seek help at the next station where we can assist you more quickly" as shown below.

Upon arrived home, I wrapped the present for my cousin't children and take some rest after finish writing this post. Overall I felt grateful to have the opportunity to see the Lion King Musical performance although I had used a lot of money today. In fact, the reason why I feel down is probably because I didn't finish my task and some inner problem. Anyways, be happy and stay positive!
=)
(Self Expenses note: Today £64.60)

Suddenly I awakens around 5.30am in the morning. At first I was thinking to complete my task but I had failed to do so since I went back to sleep. The moment I woke up again was 8.50am. Somehow I do have a great conversation with one of my cousin's uncle while I was eating my breakfast. Well, I just feel that the UK government is great in term of treating the people welfare especially those who are old or retiree. Frankly speaking, I did felt empathy about the uncle because he doesn't have a family in his old age. This make me have some thoughts about myself whether I would be ended up as a "lonely" or being alone until the end of my life if I didn't plan properly about my future.

In fact, I think that this would be the "survival race" for everyone if you want to secure your next generation especially in Malaysia due to the cost of living keep rising. For instance, it is hard to create your own family when you just earn about RM3,000 every month if you wish to have your own house, car and better education for your future children. Perhaps this is the main reason why a lot of guys nowadays prefer to be single until they build up their own successful career based on my own assumption. Hence, those guy who success in career will eventually have more "bargaining power" and confidence to select their future wife although their life partner might be 10 years younger than their current age in my opinion.

Maybe things would be different a little if our Malaysian government would be more concern about our citizen welfare. However, some people might think that the people who get support from government will become "lazy" as they don't really need to work to earn money. During the afternoon, we went to the nearby Ask Italian restaurant to have our lunch. It was my first time to try the "Risotto Con Gamberoni" and it is quite nice to eat. Then I just ask about whether is there any celebration for Winter Solstice festival and it seems that there is no celebration for British people. Actually I do have a feeling that another year passed so fast again when I read back my Winter Solstice 2012 blog post although it is quite ashamed.

Basically winter solstice is just a time to marks the shortest day and longest night of the year although some druids and pagans went to Stonehenge to celebrate it. However, it is different for Chinese communities as it is also known as Dong Zhi Festival for gathering which symbolize reunion. Well, my mother would usually make "Tang Yuan" (汤圆) or known as balls of glutinuous rice flour for us. Besides, the actual date of winter solstice for East Asians time was on around 22nd December instead of today in UK. There was a picture that I find it is quite funny to share about the Tang Yuan was in a form of angry birth as shown below.

Anyway, I would like to wish everyone to have a have a Happy Dong Zhi Festival. (冬至节快乐)

After having our lunch, I do have some conversation with my cousin. It seems that the only thing that I could repay her for all the good thing that she shared to me was to become successful in my life or do something good to the next person. Besides, it is quite true that being authentic and humble would be one of the key to success. Another thing that I realized was buying a certain gift to person might not be a good way to show that you are grateful for when you received good thing. It is better to do something that from your own effort such as writing a letter and etc. Furthermore, if a thing that is really good, there might be no need to promote or mention it because people will eventually spread it by word of mouth.

Over time, I seems to be kept living in my comfort zone when people keep helping me when I fail on something. In the long run, I might end up didn't learn much if I stay in an over comfort zone. Perhaps it is true that a person that get pampered too much would facing more hard to survive in future. During the night, I spend my time on seeking some job and start to feel very stress because I still not sure whether want to work in which field. Then I started to ask some friend and it seems like everyone has their own journey. Somehow I do felt a little bad for myself when my friend thought that my English will improve like an England speaker but it seems like not a dramastic improvement after I had take the Super Intensive English course.

On the other hand, it might be true that the situation is always "You see me good, I see you good" (你看我好，我看你好) with my current situation as no one would really understand the drawback behind when I assume too much. Some of the stupid thoughts tat I have was how could I compare myself with my ex-college classmate who are more matured than me. Honestly, I do go to view my classmate current states one by one and wondering where is my networking skills as I felt myself finding them for a reason. Guess I shouldn't assume so much because life is too short to feel down. Perhaps I should be more grateful by having an opportunity to stay longer in London such as going to the Lion King musical and others places.

Later on, I just have some noodle as my "dinner" and do feel that I only get motivated when it is almost last minute. Seriously this bad attitude will kill me critically if I keep carry on and keep talking the same thing over again without taking the right action. By now, I have 2 more task to be completed before Sunday night but I still procrastinate most of the time by delaying the important task such as present the assignment, updating my Jobstreet/JobsDB resume and review post. Somehow I do agree that blogging is actually for people who are going to retire because they tends to have more time and i might be done it in the wrong way in my current age. At last, I would like to wish everyone a Happy Winter Solstice festival although it sounds like Merry Christmas to be as below.

The definition of Ego Surfing is the practice of searching for one's own name on any popular search engine such as Google, Yahoo, Bing, Baidu or others. Similarly, an egosurfer is one who surfs the Internet for his or her own name to see what information appears about themselves. A lot of social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter allow users to make their profiles "searchable" in the appropriate search results. As a result, people who are seeking to maintain their privacy often egosurf to ensure that their profile does not appear in search engine results. When more people create online profile, a lot of them feel that there is a need to monitor their digital footprint because some of it include the information that they don't want to share.

Frankly speaking, I was terrified by my own profile when I search my real name in the search engine. It seems that there is a lot of thing that I don't want to share and suddenly feel myself so "stupid" for using real name in a lot of website. (Sometimes, when I’m all alone, I Google myself?) Seriously you don't really want your future boss or employer know so much about your personal information or your online activity in order to keep your job secure. Hence, it will be the end for me to continue blog about my personal life although I was using an anonymous name. In fact, it is not funny at all when others people know your "secret" and I suddenly felt conflicted within myself once again.

Anyway, there is no way to turn back when your picture goes online and I suddenly felt regret for posting so much stuff using my real name. Do you ever search your own real name in search engine? I bet you will definitely feel shock once you found out your personal information or any picture that you upload is shown on public. During the afternoon, I spend my time surfing and writing for the assignment but couldn't finish due to be thinking too much as I do felt a little "ugly" about own's personality although I am trying to be positive. Besides, I felt that a lot of people live in an assumption world by judging others based on their first few impression. Things seems to be bad when it goes on the way that it is not used to be.

On the other hand, do you ever see yourself in the mirror for over 20 minutes? Today I tried to look in myself in the mirror and I see my "smiley face" seems to be not natural. Seriously there is no help for people who don't even have self confident about their own appearance right? In fact, I am trying to tell myself that my looks is not that bad in order to raise my own confidence because if you don't, who else will be helping you? This small matter might looks like a small issue but sometime a simple details can really reflect a person attitude or personality. During the night, I didn't manage to have more conversation and some of the not very good feeling kept coming back.

Anyway, I will be going to my cousin's grandparent house tomorrow as there will no internet connection other than my own mobile phone internet for this coming 6 days. My personal mindset for now seems to be not very good in some way although I keep telling it will be better. Part of the problem that arise is also come from own personal assumption. Well, good bye for this coming week although I might able to online using my mobile phone.By the way, do you guys enjoyed your "Dong Zhi Festival (winter solstice) celebration in Malaysia? Before I end my post, Merry Christmas in advance with the Last Christmas cartoon song as shown below or the link >>> Here.

Everyone is talking about "Bantuan Rakyat 1Malaysia (BR1M 3.0)" which is also know as 1Malaysia Cash Aid (BR1M 3.0) in English.

The Applications for 1Malaysia People's Aid (BR1M) 2014 can be made from December 23, 2013 (Monday) which is today and online application can be made via www.hasil.gov.my. For manual application, the forms are available at any Lembaga Hasil Dalam Negara Malaysia (LHDNM) branches, Inland Revenue Board, Federal Development Department and Social Welfare Department or can be downloaded at the website as shown below.

The BR1M 2014 payment will be made on February 2014. Any enquiries can be reach at BR1M Hotline 1-800-88-2716.

However, there are a few criteria that need to be met when you visits the https://ebr1m.hasil.gov.my/ website as below.
________________________________________

Requirements BR1M application 2014
(i) Must be a Malaysian.
(ii) Man or woman who is a head of household / members who live together with gross income
monthly household income of RM4, 000 and below.
(iii) Elderly (aged 60 years and over) with a monthly gross income of RM4,000 and below.
(iv) Single individual aged 21 years and above with a monthly gross income of RM2, 000 and below.

Please submit a copy:
(i) MyKad to applicants
(ii) MyKad / MyPR / passport for his / her spouse (if applicable)

Review the qualifications of agencies / other sources are subject to guidelines of the Ministry of Finance, Malaysia.
Recipients of the 1Malaysia Book Voucher (BB1M) are not eligible to apply for BR1M 2014

NOTE **
1) NEW APPLICATION - For applicants who apply for the first time and also for BR1M applicants of BR1M 1.0 and 2.0 are not eligible.

2) APPLICATION UPDATE BR1M 2.0 - 2.0 update for BR1M recipients of information other than Marital Status and Household Information.
________________________________________
As for me, I didn't apply as I think I might be under the student scheme. However, I not sure whether you will get prosecuted or not if you submit fake information. That's all I know based on what I read on their website. I'm out for this week for Christmas celebration near Cirencester UK and my current feeling was quite anxious in some way.
>.<

Just sharing some picture taken by Michaelwolf about the Chinese Factories worker who probably involve making your children's Christmas toys present. Guess they were the real Santa and Elf that we probably seen in the toy story cartoon series as below.

These worker may not always show it, but they are grateful for the opportunity to have steady employment for both their and their childrens' generations according to the news.
Somehow it just make me felt that someone's else happiness will be exchange or sacrifice for other people happiness. I shall be grateful for the life I am having now although there is so much thing to think about when I go back to Malaysia. This is the scheduled post in the night of Christmas Eve.

Hereby I would like to wish you a Happy Merry Christmas 2013. I'm not available for this week and this was a scheduled post. Hope you're having a great day although another past with a blink of eye again. Before I end my post, I would like to share the "The Man in the Arena" by Zen Pencils. Actually it from one of the memorable "Citizenship in a Republic" speech by Theodore Roosevelt. His life shows us that only hard work, tenacity and a desire to do the right thing can get you succeed in your life.

The quotes that I like most was "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." Enjoy the interesting picture by Zen as shown below.

Be daring to face your challenge, Merry Christmas 2013 once again!

Frankly speaking, I don't know what happen for this day since it is another scheduled post. What I really know was it is known as Boxing Day for today. Basically Boxing day is a the day following after Christmas Day on 26 December, when servants and tradesmen would receive gifts from their bosses or employers, which we all known as "Christmas box". Anyways, I would like to wish everyone to have a Happy Boxing Day 2013.
=)

How was your Christmas holiday? I believe you will be enjoying those great food and present exchange activities. Do you still remember the free to play Wakfu massively multiplayer online role-playing game (MMORPG) that I previously introduce on my Facebook page during their Open Beta Test (OBT) starting from 18th December 2013 (1700 +8GMT) to 1st January 2014 (1200 +8GMT).

Well, let me introduce again this game once again. Wakfu Asia MMORPG game is a free to play version that is customized for English Asia regions. It is unlike the North America and Europe versions as user does not require to pay any premium monthly fee to enjoy most all the features. This sequel is set on 1,000 years after the Age of Dofus as there are new heroes emerged to bring hope to the world in ruins. Each hero must rebuild their own chosen nation and form allies within to fight together in a turn based battle among the World of Twelve.

There are up to 16 professions to choose from and the 14 original character class starting from Feca's Shield (Protectors), Osamodas' Whip (Animal Summoners), Enutrof's Fingers (Treasure Hunters), Sram's Shadow (Assassins), Xelor's Sandglass (Temporal Magi), Ecaflip's Coin (Warrior Gamblers), Eniripsa's (Hands Healers), Iop's Heart (Go-Getting Warriors), Cra's Range (Archers), Sadida's Shoe (Plant Summoners), Sacrier's Blood (Berserkers), Pandawa's Pint (Sherpa Warriors), The Rogue Ruse (Masters of Illusion), The Masqueraiders (Lunatic Soldier) and The Foggernaut's Steam (Master in sabotage). Beside, did you know that #wakfu has its own board games, animes and comics as well? Feel free to watch the Wakfu Trailer before I continue guide you on how to start as shown below or the link >>> Here.

Do you feel start to pump up and excited to start this journey together with me?

First of all, please visits http://www.wakfu.asia/ and register an account. Then you can start to download the game by clicking "Play Wakfu" once your email get verified as shown below.

If the download link doesn't work, please visits http://download.wakfu.asia/
Next, you can install it by clicking next button until you able to login and update your game as shown below.

Upon login, I selected the Phaeris and start to create my character and the first scene that you will see was shown below.

The great thing is that I was guided with the tutorial about how to choose and fight the monster as below.

Then I reach the city and talk to Wolfram Mission to start of my quest by answering his question.

My first task was to collect Wodent Seeds from Tiwodent monster and extract it by select the "Extract" action on a empty place to plant the sea.

Isn't it cute to see so many "small rabbit" (Tiwodent) jumping around the land. Then the training continues by completing your task as a fighter. You need to confront Lumberjane and Wodent Queen by all the skills yoi had learned so far. After that you need to go to the dungeon to fight the Wodent King. When the King has fallen, you can be reincarnated.

After that, I had created the Iop's Heart (Go-Getting Warriors) character and it looks awesome as shown below.

The first scene from my character was shown below and I just exploring around.

Somehow I tried to fight the Piwi bird but died since they was in a gang as shown below.

That's all for the sneak peak and you shall explore it around.

Well, if you have already downloaded the game played for some time, the good news is the items shop will be opened on 2nd January 2014. You'll be able to purchase the game currency (Ogrines) from www.wakfu.asia and the currency will be converted upon your purchase. Then you can start to buy your preferable in-games items without facing any difficulties. Another good news is Wakfu Apac is rewarding their players when their Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/wakfu.apac) reach 50,000 likes.

Everyone in the server will receive a Cape Insektor as their in-game reward when the fans reach
o, I probably should tell you this, Wakfu Apac is rewarding its players if they hit 50k by 31st Jan 2014. You could help by spread it to your friend and play together. Afterall, it was free and the storyline was good. If you are facing any question, feel free drop a message at their Facebook page about your enquiries.
See you in the game!

#wakfuapac #wakfu #wakfumalaysia

What is the life without internet for 5 days? Personally, I have experience this myself when I followed my cousin to her grandparents house near Cirencester for celebrating Christmas. Hence, the previous 5 day post such as Wakfu Asia was actually a scheduled blog post which means that it is written in advance and it will automatically published when the day arrived. Well, the weather there was fresh and full of green lands. Honestly, I do have a feeling about people who are more wealthy will not show off what they have and dressed in a simple way. This might be probably my own thought again when saw the house was very big and there was a Jaguar XF car that is consider a luxury car back in Malaysia.

Anyway, I tried to spend my time by having more conversation but my I was hold by my own personal matters. In fact, I kept remind myself don't dwell because my time is my own value. Frankly speaking, there is so much thought keep going on around my mind although I know I shall stop this kind of unproductive activities. Furthermore, I try to apply the Pomodoro technique (every 30-minute session is 25 minutes of high-focus, distraction-free work, followed by a 5 minute break) to stop my procrastinate attitude to stop thinking so much but it couldn't last long. This could my side effect for self talking too much using blog platform and resulted this type of "imagination addictive" effect.

Beside, i received an electronic dictionary bookmark as my Christmas gift as I liked it very much. The Snowman walking in the air song seems to be quite nice too. During the night, I am having anxiety again because I didn't complete what I'm supposed to do during my stay in UK. Furthermore, there is few more days for me to pack myself before going back Malaysia and this make me felt "stress" especially I didn't finish write my CV (resume, job task proposal) and I still haven pack much the stuff that I want to bring back to Malaysia. Guess this could be serve me right when I rather spend my time watching some Youtube video such as "岛国奇欲记" since Akiho Yoshizawa acted in as below or the link >>> Here.

Suddenly I just feel a little sadness when think about it.

Apparently 5 days without internet when I was in the countryside doesn't really help me change much when I was addicted to computer in my past. Before I end my post, I would like to share something in Chinese about "只有笑脸的人" as shown below.

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渐渐发现，很多人不快乐的时候，都不会找朋友倾诉，甚至是，不想被别人知道。
也许，我们会选择去听歌，独个儿用歌曲去抒发感受，又或是去一个人看书看剧集看电影，用情节去将自己的情绪投射的同时、也令自己再没有去思考或面对不快的时间，不要令自己有太多情绪无法排遣，也不要让朋友察觉或发现得到。

和朋友见面，也只会风花雪月，就算那天你其实工作怎么不顺利，但是你就半句都不会提起；在脸书或其他社交网站，你也只会贴一些快乐或有趣的新闻和图片，不会分享你其实已重播了多少次的情歌，也不会在 status 透露半点、其实这天你已经很疲累了 ......

越不快乐，就要越表现得快乐，但在脸书贴出了更多的笑脸，渐渐你又会觉得自己虚假、没有意义，最后你可能又会变得什么都不想说不再贴，收起一切的情绪，做一个笑脸人甚至无脸人，一个人去躲起来，逃避去面对别人，就由得情绪自己继续发酵消沉，

让自己偷偷的继续去想不通、或沉溺更多；即使你坚强地相信自己一个人可以撑下去，但你最软弱的那一部份，却没有太多人可以了解，而你渐渐又会习惯了这一种生活方式，太过适应独处，就连快乐的时候，也开始不懂得向别人分享。

是的，心情不好，大概你会不想见朋友，怕自己言语乏味、面目可憎，惹得朋友生厌，也怕被别人看不起；但真正的朋友，是不会太介意你心情不好、言语乏味、面目可憎，再难顶，也会陪你一起走过去，直到你心情好转为止。始终我们交友，并不是为了要交换微笑，你没必要看轻你自己，也不应该看轻，与你真正交心的那些朋友。

即使最后，大家未必会帮到你多少，但如果有一个人可以陪自己抒发一下感受，可以陪自己呆半天、蹲一会儿，相信难过渐渐会变得没有那么难过，就算你还想苦笑，也有对方陪你相视而笑；只要是真正的朋友，一定会愿意关心你、倾听你的问题，只等你哪些时候，觉得可以说出来了，也只望不会给你太多的压力，只愿你一个人的时候，不会钻进了牛角尖......

其实，大家并不担心你找不到其他快乐，就只担心你不快乐的时候找不回自己，也忘了，你身边还有着疼爱你的人而已。
_________________________________________
That's all for today, cheer to myself and hopefully I can wake up in few hour time to complete my task.
T.T

I was awaken at 4.05am early in the morning. Unfortunately I didn't manage to "fight" with myself and cram due to unfinished task. While packing my luggage, I was in a deep disappointment feelings due to personal matters that related to the unfinished task. Frankly speaking, I know that it is useless to write this blog post without any clear direction. Everyone also knew that life will be getting "hard" in Malaysia starting next year and it's it irony that you could earn more money by being a waitress job instead of fighting with other candidates with the RM2K~RM3K salary? Anyway, it shouldn't be compared in such way as this was merely based on my sudden thought.

During the afternoon, I finished packed 1 luggage and it weight around 18KG out of the total 40KG luggage allowance from Emirates airline. Somehow I found out that the "Enjoy 40kg Baggage Allowance in Economy Class" offer has expired in their webpage because the checked baggage allowances is 30kg in Economy Class, 40kg in Business Class and 50kg in First Class for their standard rate. (If you have calculated your allowance to be over 32kg (71lb), please note that Dubai Civil Aviation prohibits the acceptance of any one piece of baggage weighing more than 32kg (71lb), into, out of or via Dubai International Airport.) Beside, I was not sure about the check in luggage size for 75 cm x 55 cm x 35 cm is correct or not.

After taken my dinner, I have some conversation with my cousin's husband and found out that it is better not to check in any plant seeds because it would cause some problem or even get fines in some way. During the night, I did have a negative feeling about disappointment about myself due to avoiding unfinished task and seems to be not eager enough to change.

In addition, the feeling of "owe people's favor" (欠人家人情) really not good use to experience. The thoughts of "I shouldn't make this decision at first" seems to be useless because talking anything further now would not make any changes. Furthermore, "over-promise" attitude seems to be just an empty talk if it doesn't deliver. Perhaps life without internet would really make myself changes to another person. Who could I really say sorry to other than myself and it just sounds like a self pity behavior.

By now I shall understand the reason why creating value to others seems to be more important instead of focus in yourself. In fact, there is no need to seeks for attention if the things is beautiful in natural. Anyway, I'm looking forward for tomorrow activities in London although the "down" side came in due to the unfinished task again in term of resume and assignment. One thing I would like to share about self-sabotage is "You Quit When the Going Gets Tough" just like blogging as it say's "The Internet is a sea of dead blogs. What most internet marketing gurus don’t tell you is that it takes years to build a following online. I don't mean the one or two outliers who did it in 6 months. The vast majority of blogs at the top of the Alexa rankings have been around for a long time, 4 years or more" which is quite true. This could be the end for a "future copy/paste" blogging style as I were taking to myself. At last, it is quite true that my level of sarcasm has got to a point where I don't even know if I'm kidding or not. Don't feel like self negative talk so much as it could influence your real personality going into darkness one day.
>.<

Thoughts again? I was living in full of thoughts again for today's outing although I know it is not good to "self sabotage" myself in some way. During the morning, I bought the £8.90 off-peak daily travel card that is usable at 9.30am to 4am and after 7pm onward. The first destination I went to is Holborn to withdraw £50 that cost for RM281.30 (1GBP = RM5.626) and I felt that the rates is getting higher. Anyway, it was my last withdrawal and I left only RM23.59 in the HSBC account as shown below. (can wait die liao when back to Malaysia)

Somehow I just have so much feeling with the Holborn station because it had left me too much memory.

After that, I took from Holborn underground to Bond Street to go Southwark but it is not working in that moment. Therefore I need to go Oxford Circus and change to Waterloo station in Bakerloo line before change to Southwark in Jubilee line as shown below.

Upon arrival at Southwark, I waited my friend to arrive at the glass building while reading the guide map as shown below.

When my friend arrived after almost 1 hour, we walk to the Tate Modern Museum as shown below.

The music was full of artistic painting and design but I seems to lack of interest in some way.

Then I suggested we go to the nearby Bank Of England Museum at Bank station because I heard that they allow people to touch and hold a real pure gold bar for free market with Switzerland benchmark as below.

Beside, there is a fun activity that you can try which is cracking the safety box code. Well, you need to answer 3 different question and follow the instruction to play the game. We manage to see the answer from another person and it was "10, 40, 70" combination. However, the hard part is turning the safety box because I had tried 3 time and failed. In the end, I was happy to open it and you will receive a badge as their prize as shown below. (sadly no photos is allowed inside the museum)

Seriously the thing that I'm happy was the feeling of success when I able to open the safety box. Next, I quickly took the DLR underground to Pontoon Dock while passing by O2 Arena as shown below.

Upon arrival, we walk pass the park and reached River Thames Barrier as shown below.

There was a French couple taking picture there and she explained some fact about the flood barrier.
Then we took the train again by changing at Oxford Circus to Wembley Central. After we had walked around the area, we went to have fries chicken as our "lunch" as shown below.

Somehow the fries taste not really that nice partly because of the food here was consider cheap.

After we had taken the meal, I went to 99p Stores and Poundland to buy some souvenir. Next, we walked to Wembley arena and I stop by at London Designer Outlet for shopping as shown below.

Well, I didn't buy much of things because I'm not rich and it makes me dwell again out of sudden. This could make me think about people who spend their own hard earned money seems to be more happy. For instance, if you work as a waiter in UK and earn about £1000+ clear profit a month, you will definitely to spend your money in everything that you like. But if you use your someone else or "future money", you will not have the same satisfaction.

Beside, I do agree with what my friend say about the risk working illegally in UK by getting blacklisted or deported. However, it could be true that people who "jump aeroplane" will be able recover from bad name status if they're successful in future. Just imagine that if you could earn a lot of money in UK, bring back to Malaysia and become a successful person, not much people would care about your past stories. Anyway, talking anything further seems to be useless for me as what had past already past. I have used too much money here and this was the main reason why I felt a little depress (没有酱大的头就不要学人家带酱大的帽子) due to own personal capabilities.

During the night, I continue to pack my stuff again and they was around with me. Somehow I get a lot of advice and it seems like everything must follow the rules. For instance, you can't carry 2 hand carry (1 laptop bag and 1 hand carry) if the website rules says that only 1 bag is allowed for economy class. Besides, isn't it funny to carry almost 18KG of books back Malaysia instead of some other better stuff? I have no excuse for not bringing those book bag. How could I say that actually I want to bring a lot of souvenir back to Malaysia instead of books? Anyway, it is so conflicted and I just told myself don't think so much. In fact, there are way too much of thoughts happening on my mind although I know it is useless to dwell so much. At last, it is true that the greatest gift you can give someone is your time. Because when you give your time, you are giving a portion of your life that you will never get back.
(Self Expenses note: Today £40.40)

The morning weather's was rainy. However, I decided to go out again since it was the last day before I go back and New Year 2014 coming. After I had get myself prepared, I went to take the underground train to Uxbridge. Upon arrival, I walked to the Pavilions shopping center and it was big as shown below.

Somehow I just received a message from my cousin's message and I suddenly feel a little down about myself when I was shopping in the Marks & Spencer (M&S) shop. (Don't buy anymore souvenirs or chocolates. I think you have already spent too much on chocolates for too many people. Immediate family like your parents, sister and brother are ok but not for friends and relatives especially since you are a student and people do not expect you to have money to spend on them. Save the money until you have got a job and earning your own money.)

Anyway, I walked to the nearby Poundland and continue with the Chimes shopping centre which is also know as Intu shopping center as shown below.

When I reached home, I continue to pack my stuff with a lot of thoughts going on again. Perhaps I was over-enjoyed myself with those day trip such as going to Bank of England Museum and delayed the important given task. Around 6.50pm I make a move from home and it is free use of all Buses and Tube from 11.45pm through to 4.30am during New Year's Eve in London as shown below.

However, I still need to pay the off peak price of £3 when go to Holborn.

Upon arrival, I met one of my English course's friend from Thailand at Saintsbury and we walked to Leicester Square as below.

When I walk pass Chinatown, I plan to eat Chinese food but ended up ordered at Misato Japanese restaurant as shown below.

Somehow I tried not to think so much about "something". Then we walked to Trafalgar Square London and waited other friends at Charing Cross as shown below.

Well, we faced a hard time to find the friend because lack of "communication skills" in some way.

Besides, I saw the Malaysia Tourism building located just opposite the Trafalgar Square and it make me felt that our country seems to be famous as we can afford to advertise at there as shown below.

After we meet our friend, we walked to down to the Temple Underground and there was full of people. Somehow we had lost with other friend and waited quite a long time at Temple Pier as below.

This make me think about is the any apps that can help people to find people in specific location. Furthermore, there was a lot of police nearby at every spot. The countdown countdown Happy New Year Eve 2014 at London Eye experience seems to be quite nice although the weather was raining.

Beside, I do make some new friend from Philippines and I impressed with their English speaking skills. After the countdown end, the street is full of rubbish and we walked back to Holborn. Seriously there was so much people at Holborn and I decided to walk to Tottenham Court Road and continued on Oxford Circus. Anyway, I took the N207 bus Notting Hill Gate because I don't want to walk from station to station starting at Bond Street, Marble Arch, Lancaster Gate and Queensway as shown below.

At last, I arrived West Ruislip at 3am and feel so tired. Apparently I felt very guilty when saw my cousin's husband seems to be waited me as they worried about me. Frankly speaking, the reason I felt down was probably due to being treated too well in some way until I become very lazy. Anyway, this post shall be a happy post and I felt grateful to have the opportunity to experience Countdown in London although there is much more thing I can ~~rant~~ say about. Let's the last day of 2013 be a happy one and I would like to share a meaningful quotes that is "Tomorrow, is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one." Happy New Year 2014!
=D
(Self Expenses note: Today £30.30)

Wishing everyone a very Happy New Year 2014.
Hopefully this year will be a great year for me.
Will this blog survive another year and the writing style would be changed once and for all?
This post was a scheduled post since I'm on the way to catch up my flight at Heathrow airport preparing back to Malaysia.
By the way, New Year's Eve Fireworks at London Eye was awesome as you can watch the video below by BBC or the link >>> Here.

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My 23rd Birthday

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Do You Add Value To Someone's Life?

Higher Educated Person Seems To Be Having More Stress

The Lion King Musical At Lyceum Theatre London Review

Happy Dong Zhi Festival 2013 冬至节快乐

Ego Surfing Your Own Real Name In Search Engine

Bantuan Rakyat 1Malaysia (BR1M 3.0) Cash Aid 2013

Real Santa And Elf For Christmas From China

Merry Christmas 2013

Happy Boxing Day 2013

Wakfu Asia Online Game (MMORPG) Malaysia Review

Life Without Internet For 5 Days

Packing Luggage With Disappointment Feelings

Tate modern, Cracking Safe Code At Bank Of England Museum, River Thames Barrier Day Trip Experience

Countdown Happy New Year Eve 2014 At London Eye Experience

Happy New Year 2014