! A Growing Teenager Diary !

today i woke up at 11.05am.
then i just help my mother to prepare something for the ancestor prayer.
after we pray our ancestor, i help to burn the "hell money paper" as an offering for the "God".
around 1pm we have a simple lunch since later we will go for my father side reunion dinner for the Chinese New Year Eve tonight.
after that, i also help my brother to hang those CNY decoration at outside of our house.
somehow i do face a little argument with my brother when fixing the "Tanglung" (a type of Chinese lantern) because the design was quite hard to setup.
while thinking back my yesterday post about "No Money", i just feel that actually it is all depend on my decision in life and how i want to think about a problem.

for example, if i decided not to study anymore for not going to UK this year, i will might able to afford to buy a below RM150,000 property or a car as a goal for this year.
during the evening, i just get myself prepared first while waiting and surf some news online.
around 6pm we make a move from home and went to my father's brother house at Kota Kemuning.
mother have cooked 3 type of dishes such as fried chicken, fried fish and vegetable as it is a potluck type reunion dinner as shown below.

well, we reached the relative house at 6.40pm and which is quite early this year.
frankly speaking, i just keep listening to others people story throughout my moment at there as myself was quite an introvert person.
actually i did feel "envy" but keep told myself don't think in such way but to think in a positive way.

for example, when i heard my cousin shared his experience of travel in different country, at first i was "jelly
but if i think in a positive way, i would be happy because at least i know what's culture on that country.
another example was when i heard some cousin talk about others cousin/people for being so successful, i should be proud of them if i think in a positive way.
furthermore, my father's brother was one of the successful pilot in Malaysia and i should be proud of him where he was featured in Air Asia Travel 3sixty magazine every month.
while reading the article post that he wrote for the magazine for next month, i was feel a little touched when he wrote about the upcoming post that title "from a poor carpenter son to become a pilot" for next month.
one thing i realized that in order to be professional or specialist in certain field, you need to spend years of continuing doing the same job to get recognition.

in fact, i am proud of him that he had inspired a lot of young people to become a pilot by replying any question regarding aviation in Malaysia in his Just About Flying blog.
perhaps it was true that if you having a strong passion about what you're doing, you will be success in the end but not like having "passion to whine about your life" just like what i did using blogging to express feeling.
on the other hand, i do feel sorry to him that i said i want to become a pilot when i was small but end up "empty talk" when i grown up.
well, i don't think i am able to start all over again because the aviation course in Malaysia required at least few hundred thousand to study and my health condition was not very good.
however, i might be able to achieve it when i am rich one day as the course to study private flight is cheaper and i also know the price of a smaller-sized aeroplane that is achievable to buy.

somehow i just told myself that i shouldn't "humiliate" myself where i am a weak person because all the negative energy will always keep brings a person's feelings down.
during the night, i enjoyed the reunion dinner and just keep eat a lot of big prawns since it was my favourite.
actually i do feel a bit "down" when they ask about "where i work now or whether have girlfriend or not" because my life seems to be so uncertain but i just overcome it with a smile.
after that, i gambled with my cousin for 21 blackjack and ends with losing RM6 in total.
around 11.20pm we make a move from there and i finally arrived back home at 12am.
then the "fireworks bombing" sounds start to keep on going as it last until 1am.
in fact, i not sure how long it will ends since i heard my neighbour burning firecracker at 1.40am.
well, i just can say some Chinese people really rich because they can burn so many fireworks as it is not cheap too.
overall i just feel today post is just like doing yearly financial plan as i will read back on my last year father side reunion dinner 2012 post to see how i feel for that same day.
at last, i would like to wish you guys to have a happy reunion dinner for Chinese New Year Eve.

today i woke up at 11.30am.
well, today was the official day of Chinese New Year after yesterday family reunion dinner.
therefore i would like to wish you guys to have a Happy Chinese New Year 2013 and all the best throughout this whole year.
somehow i just feel like my life seems to be happening quite similar when compared with last yearCNY 2012 as my post tends to be more boring as there is nothing special happening other than whining about my life when i keep writing it everyday.
after having some "dried meat" with bread as my breakfast, i helped my mother to prepare the raw material for cooking as there will be another second round of potluck dinner at another relative house.
around 1.20pm i have some noodles as my lunch.

then i help my mother to pack the money into the "Angpao" (red packet) as it was a tradition to give to others people when you're married.
while searching some information online, i just found an interesting picture to share about which is "Every Chinese New Year, Ah Ma Say's" as picture below.

well, so far i am still in the Level 1 stage when i am single and available.
on the other hand, i have a little confession here that i still have the "childish thought" of "Can't you just care for me just a while" (睬我一下会死咩?) when i send some wishing message to "someone" (girl) but did not get reply despite i am already 23 years old guy this year.
perhaps this is what people say's when a girl's don't have feelings towards you, she was "cruel" to reject you (当女人对你没感觉，她会狠狠的拒绝你) although my so call love story had been ended long time ago.

in addition, i do receive a reply from the "Chinese prostitution website owner" because i was wondering is there any "earning opportunity" when create similar website although it is illegal in Malaysia and the reply i got was shown below.

seriously i just feel "sucks" again as other people think i earn a lot money from writing but i just want to ask whether do you see any Google Adsense ads on my site?
of course i do feel "butthurt" when he such thing because if i got earn, then's is okay to say that but it is not and this is like what's happen in my real life too where some people thought i am rich but i am not.
anyways, i also realized that it is good to have a strong direction of goal where he have a high level of confidence and mission/vision to help those "desperate lonely guy to find girls" and earn some money from it although it is illegal. (at least he is doing something rather i am talking empty?)

somehow i also recall back one of my cousin sharing "something" yesterday about marriage where he say no matter you're married young or older as the divorce case is still high although he was already 41 years old.
during the evening, i just enjoy eating dried meat with Shandy drinks and the feelings was so good.
then i just went to sleep since i feel quite tired.
the moment i woke up again was 6.40pm and get myself prepared.
around 7pm we make a move from house and went to my father's elder brother house for "Lou Yi Sang" and have some potluck dinner.
well, i just feel this year CNY tends to be lack of something and one of it was that i no longer can play fireworks due to i am an so call "adult" where i can just watch those little children playing.
then we continue to gamble for 21 blackjack and i just lose RM2 in the end of the game.

around 10.30pm we make a move from there to back home and i finally reach home at 11.10pm.
in conclusion i realized that the reason i feel "sad" was because i have a "poor heart" where the people around me seems to be so rich while i still doing nothing much to earn money.
well, my "definition for rich" in my dictionary now is to have at least three RM500,000+ above property, have a RM100,000 value car, eating good food everyday and earning about RM10,000 per month. (don't get offended as it was my just instant thought about something that i can't achieve with my capabilities now where i just write it for fun)
besides, i think one of the reason i can write till so long everyday was because i am actually quite free and just want someone listen about my opinion since i don't have much people to talk with in real life. (got so pity meh? don't know? LOL!)
at last, my wish for during this CNY was to be happy until the end of this year.
=)

today i woke up at 9.20am.
then i just get myself prepared because will be going out with secondary classmate to pay a visits at other friend house since it was already consider as a "must to do task" for each year to get more "Angpao".
while waiting my friend to come, i just view some information online again.
somehow i found a topic that is quite interesting about "oversupply of pilot" in the forum because i feel what he say's seems to be true to become a pilot as another people say he is just jealous to see the pilot's salary as it will range from RM10K++ and below was his point of view.
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1) Not even jealous. I merely wanna say that pilot isn't a job that required talent to do like old days whereas true skill counts. Not respect or jealous. Truth is harsh. Somebody could not take it and all comes down to personal attack.

Beggar could earn 10k per month sleeping side walk.
Prostitute could earn 10k per month by spreading legs.
Trafficking drug could earn 10k per month too .
My point is nowadays pilot isn't as same as olden days pilot.
It's much simple to be pilot nowadays. Average people can be pilot if opportunity is provided.
__________________________________
somehow i just feel that why people's feel "butthurt" was always because jealous of the money earned by others while typical Malaysian people like me just can keep talking how they can earn so much money.
when i asked myself why i want money and the answer seems to be like "got money=got face" as if you don't have money, you will faced a lot of obstacles.
for example, i will think twice now when deciding want to eat good food or not since i left not much now.

besides, it was quite true that when guy have money, you might eventually be "itchy" when you read back the "Why do men find prostitutes" post that i write few day ago.
do you agree that if a man go for prostitution, "He doesn't have to please a prostitute, doesn't have to make her happy, doesn't have to worry about her emotional needs or demands. He can give or take without the burden of reciprocity. He can be entirely selfish. He can be especially aggressive or especially passive, and not only is the woman not upset, she acts aroused. He is not responsible for her in any way. For these men, a prostitute is sought as a relationship in which the man can "let go" and freely express his most selfish desires without feeling guilty and worried about the effect of these desires on his partner" according to the article.
maybe this is all about different stages of life, you will have different demand and might explain why some guys prefer to "buy" Vietnam girls as their wife but it is the last choice for lonely guys.

other than that, perhaps is those Malaysian girls too "lansi liao" when some guy go "kao" (chase) her and they don't even "choi" (reply) those guy back.
moreover, it might be true that some girls tend to like those guy who have more experiences or finished "played" different type of girls because those guy surely will know who would be their future wife as they were bored with different kind of girl's drama.
however, i do feel what's Anonymous says was quite true about my so call love story whereby "If a girl does not answer you it is because she is being kind not to hurt you by misleading you if she has no intention to be friends with you at all. Better hurt in the short term than to answer you and let you be hurt in the long term" and i truly appreciate your feedback because it had enlighten me in some ways although i was feeling so sad because this is was the main reason of Lonely Reload blog exists.

one thing for sure that i must have that is to have faith in myself whereby if i am poor now doesn't mean that in future i will be poor as it apply the same to if i am childish now doesn't mean that i will not be a mature guy in future right?
for now, i find out the reason about why i am so easily not happy everyday was because i seems to be "too rush" and have no patient to wait until i reach the age of 30 years old.
around 11.50pm my friend arrived my house and we went to another friend house at Bukit Jelutong.
somehow i do like with the lion dance at his house although i was afraid of it when i small as shown picture below.

besides, i do wonder can i earn money from become a lion dancer as it might a good opportunity to earn money from the rich people? (just a funny thought in my mind)

on the other hand, we were talking about a quite beautiful and young (17 years old) girl that came to visits my friend house.
well, i just don't really know myself seems to be acting quite awkward when i see real girl in front of me and tend to avoid the eyesight to see. (maybe self-low-esteem+low-self confidence)
anyways, a friend just told me that there is no hope for poor boys like us date with rich girls.
around 3pm we make a move to another friend house and continue to visits another friend's house.
somehow i had lost about RM5 in total for gambling. (really no luck to gamble during CNY?)
after that, we went to Setia City mall to watch Journey to the West movie by Stephan chow.
as we arrived GSC cinema at 6.15pm, it seems that the movie was not available and i have suggested to watch the Wedding Diary 2 Movie 2013 (结婚那件事之后).

however, my friend seems to be not very like it at first because it was consider as a Malaysian movie where i can see most of the people dislike local film.
this can be seen when we choose another movie but most of it was fully booked but not the Wedding Diary 2 as it still have a lot of space to choose. (quickly glance through it only have < 20 people buy it)
anyways, we still buy it since i suggested and i can recall back that i had watched the Wedding Diary 2012 as it was the part 1 last year.
after we bought the movie, we went to have our dinner at Carl's Jr and i thought it was about the Mc Donald's price range but it is not as it cost about RM15+ after tax for the cheapest fish burger set.
therefore i don't think i will visits it next time although their fried fries was quite nice to eat when compared with McD fries.

besides, i do have some 18++ talks with my friend and just feel that it is not everything i can express out in the blogging atmosphere although i wish to since it was my main objective to express feelings without keeping any secret.
anyways, what i can say it is always back to the "prostitution" topic again as there was not much "interesting to talk about" with people.
around 7.25pm we went back to the GSC cinema to watch the movie and i feel there was a lot of people watching movie recently.
below was the synopsis of the Wedding Diary 2.
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The Wedding Diary 2 picks up two years after the marriage of Wei Jie (Aniu) and Zhixin (Elanne), when they welcome a new and unexpected addition to their family.

However, all is not well for Wei Jie`s in-laws when Zhixin`s father, Colin (Jack Choo) suffers a stroke, which puts a strain on the couple`s relationship as Zhixin has to step up to handle her father`s business and at the same time, ensure that her mother (Kara Hui) does not fall into depression and anxiety due to her husband`s condition.
_____________________________
furthermore, i do like some of the movie scene as shown picture below.

there is few things i like about the movie which is family is always the most important when somethings goes wrong it is hard to take care of a baby as i have experience it myself with my sister's baby last time.
anyways, feel free to watch the movie Trailer as below or the link >>> Here.

overall i would rate this movie for 4.6 out of 5 stars because there is some meaningful message that shown in this movie and it is recommended to watch.

actually i do saw many reviews say's the movie is a waste of money to watch, and given low marks but i would like to say it was not a waste of money in my own opinion as different people have different views. (its okay if you say i am bias on Malaysia movie)
guess this is the end for my Wedding Diary 2 Movie Review 2013 (结婚那件事之后).
finally i arrived back home around 10am while my friend visited my house.
somehow i just feel that the more i write about something quite "sensitive" in term of 18++ topic, the more i don't feel to reveal who am i.
the reason i can express myself till so "brave" or without any concern was because the anonymous identity that i don't need to take any responsible to talk about it since no one knows.
however, it would be quite weird if someone found out and i will start to feel insecure since it was my diary.

furthermore, when talking about the "paying $$ to buy girl" theory, i do know some people goal's to work is to earn money to just pay for "the entertainment" (happy ending if you know what it means).
perhaps you might say if the guy "do that kind of thing", he is consider as immoral, but who would really knows who they were the most happy guys in the end?
in fact, i afraid i will be hypocrite very soon as i read those "reviews" and feels quite "horny" when see their story and experiences when it is "affordable" (RM100~RM300) to "buy" those "satisfaction". (might also explain why divorce case is went up so high recently if people found out)
as what i know, if you experience it once, you would be hunger for "it" (sekali try, tiap tiap hari mau theory) and maybe this can explain why some guys can have so high motivation to work everyday.
at last, i just can say myself tends to be "over-lonely" and might be desperate soon but i will try my best to hold my "pervert/hamsapness" while i still having my "pure naive thought" before going to the "next level" of life up to this date, this moment of writing up this blog post.
if one day this blog disappeared or closed out of sudden, it would means that i finally give up of my "good guy image" and would like to keep my blog for my own reference if i ever experience "it" myself since no people would like to share the "extreme bad side" of their life.
>.<

today i woke up at 12.30pm.
after that, i just search some information and check on some news.
well, i feel that it is not worth to pay PSY to perform Gangnam Style at Penang if it require money but some source say that it is free of charge when he came to perform the dance.
during the afternoon, one of my friend secondary friend phoned me and say we will be going to visits some friends house.
then i just have my lunch prepared by mother while waiting my friend arrive.
around 2.20pm he arrived and we went to friend house near Eng Ann.
somehow i do feel quite "sucks" for myself because still need to depend on friend's car to fetch me go and back when going out every time since i have no money to buy car.

around 4pm we went to Setia City Mall again to walk around while waiting another friend to meet at there.
then we went to Tong Pak Fu dessert shop to have some tea time for chit chatting.
somehow i do listened a lot of different story but just feel that not everything can share in the online atmosphere as it is just a matter of time that people will find out the answer.
actually i feel to share about my friend's sport car story but just feel that it is better to keep for self reference.
another story that can share which is about clubbing in Zouk as one of my friend's phone get stolen there.
through his sharing, i realized that this can help to create awareness to other people that please always keep check your phone in your pocket when go out "dance" in the dance floor stage.
for example, "some girls" will purposely let you touch their body/boobs to make you feel "high", you will eventually forget if someone steal your phone in your pockets.

perhaps the answer to prevent it was bring out less money or just bring a Nokia 3310 handphone?
anyways, i still haven go clubbing before until now although my "heart" was quite "pervert/hamsap" that i have the thought of "if i have the chance to go, i might not miss the chance to "Touch Lai touch Qu" (摸来摸去) of those girl's body" as i know the entrance fee was around RM100 since i haven experience it myself before.
while talking about this Zouk thing, i do feel quite "emo" as i heard before from the girl that i like talking about this place before but that time i really don't know what is "Zouk" meaning few years ago.
therefore i just feel that how great if someone can tell me about it last time instead of making others misunderstand that i am pretending that i don't know about it.
guess this is what people say that when time past, you will understand/realized it but this is too late to know for a 23 years old guy. (experience really need time to build)

after having our dessert, i do feel the dessert was quite expensive to eat at there as it still cost us around RM10 after divide for sharing.
then my friend was hungry and wanted to have some Korean cuisine as our dinner but i just suggesting some "cheap place" to eat.
somehow i can see he was quite unhappy when we went to the porridge shop inside the Setia City Mall but finally i say go to the Korean food that he suggested earlier.
around 7pm we make a move from there and went to somewhere near Subang for the Korean restaurant where i just know the name of the shop was Da Sa Rang Korean BBQ Restaurant.
below was some of the picture that i taken from there with my "noob" camera.

at the end, i just realized that i only left around RM45 in my wallet when come to pay the bills.

then my friend pay first but i just feel embarrass because each person need to pay around RM50 as i still lack of RM5 but he say nevermind.
guess it might be my first time to carry RM0 inside my wallet walking out and i just went to withdraw some money after that.
anyways, below was the details of the Korean restaurant.
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Da Sa Rang BBQ Korean Restaurant.
No 82, 84 1st floor, Jalan SS15/4D,
UEP Subang Jaya, 47500 Selangor, Malaysia.
Operating Hour: Mon - Sun: 11:00 am - 11:00 pm
Phone : 03-5637 0061
__________________________________

honestly, i don't really like things that related to Korean as it just remind me of "something" that i don't wish to talk about anymore.
besides, nowadays i feel myself seems to be keep spending a lot of money when outing despite i will be very "poor" soon and this feeling is so "sucks" now.
somehow i do feel myself like the "Wedding Diary movie" as the main character Ah Niu keep want "care his face" (顾/爱面子) but in the end only himself get trouble.
around 9pm we make a move from there and i finally reach home at 10pm.
well, i just don't why i have stomach pain where i not such is the food is too healthy for me and just went to do "big businness" in the toilet.
anyways, i had finished watch "The Assassins" (铜雀台) 2012 movie as shown below or the link >>> Here.

overall i just nowadays i must control my "spending budget" as i need it for my "working food" expenses in KL soon.
this coming Friday will have gathering with classmate but i don't think i will go for the second round "Drink Beer" (喝酒) at midnight although my friend say "one year once, don't like that lah" to create disappointment. (扫兴)
Money o money ah, where are you ah?
T.T

today i woke up at 11.40am.
well, this whole week was still in the Chinese New Year mood for me while i still waiting to start my work at next week.
during the afternoon, mother cooked some "Wax Duck" (腊鸭) and some vegetable as our lunch.
then i just continue to search some information and news.
recently the news is all about political and i just feel that don't know want to trust who as there is so many source whether it is true or being made for propaganda.
for example, the Psy's Oppa Gangnam style had been special focus/edited to voice out "Yes" when the Prime Minister asked are you ready for "BN" while another video was "No" in the public.
however, i believe A CHANGE is needed if you listened to the Wolf, Lion and sheep story before.

anyways, there is one picture that i feel meaningful to share which is "Vote for Nobody" because "Nobody tells the truth, Nobody will keep election promises, Nobody will listen to your concerns, Nobody will help the poor or unemployed, Nobody cares! If nobody is elected, things will be better for everyone" as shown picture below.

perhaps it was true that, no one would really cares how are you doing as everyone was busy caring for themselves and feel like saying myself too. (>.<)
besides, i just have some chat with my ex-ex-classrap from college and just recall back some memories.
somehow i feel that only time can proof "somethings" and cures "somethings" as it for my own references.
on the other hand, i think my theory for "things that happened one year before might happen same for next year" seems to be quite true.

for example, tomorrow i plan to go college to settle my SHU application related stuff and when i read back my the same day of last year which is "Valentine Day 2012" post, it seems that i still settling my UK stuff at that time but that post just gave me a "emo" feeling when i reading it back.
somehow i think i am "enjoyed" with my own "emo feelings" and suddenly liked a song so much which named "Cheng Ren" by Qu Wan Ting (曲婉婷承認) where i keep listening repeatedly throughout the whole day.
below was the lyrics of the Qu Wan Ting Cheng Ren song.
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妳总是一副不在意的样子。
在我面前笑嘻嘻，
话语如儿戏，我对妳充满疑意。
然而当他的手挥舞在我的肩臂。
突然妳的眉间多了一丝严厉，
而在妳眼里找到的却是怜惜。
妳转过身去，拳已攥紧。

妳承认吧，妳需要我。
可妳需要更多的是勇气。
妳害怕失去更害怕一个人的孤寂。
我承认了，我需要妳。
选择友谊是对爱情的逃避。
试着抛开怀疑，因为我已经无力再抗拒。

我总是猜不透妳的用意。
曾经试图一而再，再而三读懂妳。
如果说我不在意，那也是一出戏，这不是秘密。
在妳面前我无须掩盖什么东西，
因为妳懂我的点点滴滴。
我只是来不及，承认自己。

妳承认吧，妳需要我，
可妳需要更多的是勇气。
妳害怕失去更害怕一个人的孤寂
我承认了，我需要妳，
选择友谊是对爱情的逃避，
试着抛开怀疑，因为我已经无力再抗拒。

看不清，弄不明。
我不想再猜测什么，只要听妳说＂我需要你！＂

妳承认吧，妳需要我，
可妳需要更多的是勇气。
妳害怕失去更害怕一个人的孤寂。
我承认了，我需要妳。
选择友谊是对爱情的逃避。
试着抛开怀疑，因为我已经无力再抗拒。
_____________________________________
the words that highlighted in red is something that is what i feel.
anyways, free free to listen to the "曲婉婷 - 承認 MV" as below or the link >>> Here.

during the evening, i continue to read on the marketing books that i borrowed from Tarc Library and just managed to finish read 2 out of 4 books.

around 7pm i have my dinner and continue to surf internet after that.
well, there is a news that is quite interesting to read that is about "Johor Prince warning to Singapore TP: You come into Johor and you will be in trouble" at the link >>> Here.

somehow i think it is quite true that "when you rich, you will eventually become mean" because if you will never appreciate a things if you get it so easily such as born from a silver spoon family.

later on, the NTV7 got show a movie was quite nice to watch that is named "Lelio Popo 2010" and i just feel it is quite nice to watch.

the synopsis of the movie was "Jiang Man Da (KK) and Lu Ye Chang (Luke) are the most famous and popular radio DJs. However they're being fired due to their bad attitude and ego. Unemployed and broke, they decided to attend a public audition for radio DJs at a new radio station. Since the management wants 2 old ladies as Djs, they then disguise themselves as old ladies and got the job. Here's when they experience ups and down of life" which is quite meaningful.

if you are interest to watch it, you can watch it from the China Youku link at >>> Here.

at last, i would like to share an interesting comic from Zen Pencils about "Love Anything" as shown picture below.

guess it was true that no matter how "hurt" i am, i should wait for my fate to come.

today i woke up at 7.35am.
then i just get myself prepared because i will be following my brother's car to back KL house for settle somethings and SHU related things.
well, today was known as Valentines day but it just a normal day for me although i did have a "lonely+emo" feelings when read back my 2012 Valentines post.
anyways, i would like to wish all couples in the worlds to have a Happy Valentines Day 2013.
when i reach Kelana Jaya LRT around 8.20am, i just took out the book that i borrowed from library and continue to the "Marketing In The Age of Google" by Vanessa Fox.
somehow i do learned some new knowledge the book but also feel contradict that everything is all about earning money using the Google Organic search result.

around 9.15am i reached Wangsa Maju LRT and walked to the Desa Setapak restaurant to have Penang's prawn noodles as my breakfast.
then i bought a small gift for my tutor that helped me during my repeat semester.
when i reach KL house 9.50am, i just went upstair to wash my clothes that i had been left there weeks ago.
after that, i continue to search some information online and see some news again.
it seems that there is a "suicide" (not sure) case happened in Berjaya Times Square today around 11am but i just asked in the forum for some details information.
after some moment, my ex-room mate phoned to hang out a while he was waiting for his girlfriend.
then we went to KL Festival Mall where i suggested to go to the Sakae Sushi because i wanted to eat sushi long time ago.

well, i do feel what he say quite true that there is no need to "jelly" about others people having the things we don't have.
besides, i just got to know that there is a package to buy a Vios car around RM600 monthly installment but the deposit to buy need to pay higher.
anyways, i was enjoying my favourite Cawamushi and Salmon sushi as below.

frankly speaking, i have only few close friend and my this friend do know i got a blogging habit everyday few years ago but he never came to read my stuff. (will he come tonight? LOL)
in fact, he also suggested me to find "prostitutes" because i keep say i am so "lonely leh" but i know he was just joking.
when i reach home, another friend will be coming to pick me up as we will be watching movie at One Utama.

around 3.20pm he arrived and fetched me to Tarc Library for return 2 books with renewing another 2 books and send something to my tutor who helped me.
when we arrived to One U, we went to TGV cinema to check the time but it is not available and went to GSC cinema to check the Journey To The West 2013 movie directed by Stephen Chow.
however, the movie was almost full again at that time and we went back to TGV cinema to choose another time at 6.45pm.
after that, we went to Burger King for some eating/chit chat with one of my friend who back from SHU.
somehow i just feel that although BK got offer RM5.95 chicken burger promotion, it seems that there is not much people eat there too.
well, he shared a lot information that i feel useful if i am able to go this year.

besides, it seems that i start to havce sore throat and a little fever where this feelings was quite sucks.
anyways, we walk back to the TGV cinema and i do feel "lonely" when saw so many couples and beautiful girls walking around.
sometimes i do think a little about the girl i like when i saw some short hair girls that looked quite similar.
somehow i realized that the reason i can't find a girlfriend or keep complain no one likes me until now was because my demand tends to be too high that i wish to find someone who looks similar with her face.
for example, i am finding someone like the "Love Movie Review 2012 爱" and it seems like impossible and if yes, there will be much more guys will chase the girl that look like this right?
honestly, i wanted to ask my friend that back from SHU about her news recently but i just in a contradict feelings and ended up did not ask.

anyways, below was the synopsis of the Journey To The West 2013 movie.
_______________________________________

Based on one of the Four Great Classical Novels of Chinese literature of the same name, Stephen Chow's "Journey To The West" is a contemporary remake of the misadventures of a Buddhist monk as he makes a pilgrimage from China to India. The monk travelled to the "Western Regions" during the Tang Dynasty, to obtain sacred texts (sūtras). The bodhisattva Avalokiteśvara (Guanyin), on instruction from the Buddha, gives this task to the monk and his three protectors in the form of disciples - namely Sun Wukong, Zhu Bajie and Sha Wujing - together with a dragon prince who acts as Xuanzang's steed, a white horse. These four characters have agreed to help Xuanzang as atonement for their past sins.
_______________________________________
during the moment when watching this movie, i just feel "so so" only as i know the story line and there is only a few funny lame scene.

another things that attracted me to watch this movie was only because of "Chrissie Chau" (周秀娜) as she have acted in Papermoon (纸月亮) Malaysia movie with her sexy body.
well, feel free to look "Journey to the West 西游降魔篇 2013 Trailer" as below or the link >>> Here.

overall i would rate thing movie as 2.5 out of 5 stars because it is something i can guess what will happen but this might attract the younger kids to watch it.
around 9.10pm we make a move from there and my friend fetched me to Kampung Batu KTM.

the train arrived at 9.50pm and i was still feeling not very okay due to the sore throat.
then i just keep listened to the "Qu Wan Ting Cheng Ren" (曲婉婷承認) song from Youtube until reach my phone's data limit as below.

therefore i can't blame U mobile 3G line "sucks" since it had reached the limit.

on the other hand, i do have some "funny funny" thought again that gone through my mind.
well, it is like i seems to understand why some people tends to charge some money instead of giving free when provide some information online that stated in the books.
for example, if you need pay money to learn how to cook a food instead of reading a free guide blog post how to cook, you will be more motivated if you need to pay to learn right?
another thought that i have was i feel that life is all about getting an achievement.
for example, only "loser" who cannot chase a girlfriend's using his own skills will choose to buying a "girl" or go for prostitution to satisfy his needs.
another example was only "loser" that cannot finish his study will choose to use money to buy a certificate right?

this theory seems to be same that if you get a free movie ticket by winning it from Nuffnang or others is definitely more good to pay for a movie right?
around 11.10pm i reached Klang KTM and my brother fetched me from there.
finally i reach home at 11.30pm and watched the fireworks in front of my house as below.

after that, i went to take a Panadol to hope that it will cure away my sickness.
later on, i cooked some noodles as my supper because just feel so hungry.
in the end of today, i realized a lot of thing when i going out or expose myself.
well, it is all depend what road you choose to earn money such as the salary of a guy that sell 100 Myvi car is equal to a guy who sell 10 Mercs/Bens and also equal to a guy who just sell a Lamborgini car throughout the whole one year duration.

another thing that i know was the earphone for iPhones/iPad/iPod and others mac PC was only cost about RM2 which is made from China but sold about RM15~RM50~RM100+ depending your selling skills on how you can find "water fish" to buy your product.
no matter what, the money that earned using legal or illegal way will end up with someone pocket and a guy like me who just can "butthurt" where other seller cheated me last time by selling me RM50 for a "China made iPhone earphone" because he say until it is so real.
basically i do feel quite hopeless again as i just can whine about my life when see something unfairness.
perhaps it was true that i should start thinking what does blogging give me other than express feelings?
in fact, i do know that i will die one day too and the domain of "lonelyreload.com" will definitely bought by someone one day. (how long would i live?)

therefore i also feel it was quite true that what for you want to stay anonymous because you only live once and people will eventually forget you over time as i also keep writing "negative or self pity" stuff.
why other people can blogging so openly using real identity was to become famous and in return, getting many free things or being sponsored to satisfy their needs/wants while they still living on this earth.
in conclusion, i start to feel frustrated as i seems to losing my determination to maintain 365 post per year as time goes by since it has used me a lot of energy that might giving me side effect such as health problem for staying up late to update my blog post everyday. (finished update using 2 hour for this post, can't blame me if too many typo error as every post is just write out based on my feelings without checking much~ sad)
at last, i tends to have a very very very "childish thought" again that should i use my "Angpao" money to do the "XXX" stuff if i am too desperate since no one would cares what you do too? (how would my future's wife/son/daughter see me if one day they can read back my childish blog post?)

moreover, tonight will be the night for many couple losing their virgin and condom will be sold out the most.
today is the days that i had the most negative thought since it was a Valentine Day where i can saw so many happy couple faces posted on Facebook. (admit i am jealous since i was Forever Alone for so long liao)
T.T

today i woke up at 9am.
well, i was having a quite high fever that eventually wakes me up as i was feeling so cold.
then i quickly have some biscuit as my breakfast and went to take a Panadol to reduce my fever.
after that, i just look on to some websites and emails for some information as it was my daily routine.
somehow i think i should be grateful to have some feedback from my FB inbox after i had wrote a very negative post yesterday.
one of it was my friend say something like "Minding other people's opinion about yourself will kill you, especially when all the opinions are negatives ones. Not everyone like me will only see positive side of ppl and rarely see negative side of ppl. So remember me when u r down, cause every1 in this world have their own problem and it depends on how u look at it and solve it only" which is quite true.

another feedback that i get was "Hi Lonely, I'm telling you this because I really treated you as friend. I really do enjoyed your blog, but if you doesn't feel like doing it, just stop it. I knew this sounds cruel, but in the facts, nobody cares where you had your breakfast, lunch, or dinner. And most important is, why it is so important for you to post it everyday? Sorry for I can't see your values but it should be very important to you. If you uses the time that you used for blogging to study, you will have extra 2 hour a day (730 hour a year) it means a lot for your studies. Have a think" that is quite right also.
however, the most important is always depends on my own thinking whether how i want it to be.
frankly speaking, the reason i choose to blog everyday was because i seems to be afraid that i will lost my memory or get "Alzheimer's disease" (老人痴呆症) one day and it is quite special for me to check back what had i done on that specific date.

for example, it was great/fun to read back how you go through your birthday every year or some day that is quite important to you.
therefore my every blog post must be based on the fact i had done because it will become a history after the day had past and i think not much people will understand it since not much people will do this kind of things.
however, i think if i can write it shorter, it would not affect my time as i can write something like "today is happy, tomorrow is moderate happy and next day is angry" which is always in the short words.
around 11.40am i get myself prepared because will be having our lunch at the Klang's Hai Thiam Lo Restaurant (海天楼大酒家) as my uncle was one of the Lim's association member.
as i arrived there, it seems that there was a lot of people but i just feel bored and a little waste for the food as we just have 7 people in our 12 people table.

after that, my mother asked me to renew my Identification Card (IC) at Jabatan Pendaftaran Negara (JPN) which is near to the Lembaga Tabung Haji Klang.
as we arrived there at 2.10pm, it seems that there was a lot of people and i suggested to go to another branch at Shah Alam.
therefore we make a move from there and used my phone's GPS to locate the place address as below and it was just beside the Concorde Hotel.
________________________________

Jabatan Pendaftaran Negara Negeri Selangor
Tingkat 7, Plaza Masalam.
No.2, Jalan Tengku Ampuan Zabedah E 9/E,
Seksyen 9, 40551 Shah Alam, Selangor.
________________________________

well, it seems that there was a lot of people when i reach there and i still need to wait 70 people ahead me.

around 4.10pm finally reach my turn and the process was actually quite fast which is just need to scan your both finger print and pay RM10 to renew your IC.
then wait another 15 minutes to take your new picture and you can go back after that.
finally i reach back home at 5.30pm but my fever seems to come back again and i quickly took another Panodol again while resting a while.
around 6.50pm i get myself prepared again because there will be a secondary classmate reunion dinner 2013 at Happy Family restaurant (新乐天海鲜楼) near Setia Alam although i still not feeling very well.
then i drive my father's car as i don't have my own car and promised to him that i will be back very soon after the gathering.

somehow i do saw a lot of secondary classmate arrived as i reach there around 7.40pm.
well, the food was quite nice to eat where it started with "Yee Sang", shark fin soup, "Wufu" (五福), prawns, fish, vegetables, dessert and others.
anyways, it cost us about RM60 per person and it was quite disappointed to see every year tends to be have lesser attendance which is only 21+ people out of 40+ came when compared with last year when i read back my "Secondary Classmate Reunion Dinner 2012" post.
somehow it is recommended to eat there as the food was quite okay and below was the address of it.
______________________________
12-1-1, Jalan Setia Prima L, U 13/L,
Setia Alam Seksyen U13, 40170 Shah Alam, Selangor.
Phone: 03-3343 1728
______________________________

after that, we just take some picture to keep as a memory as it is not easy to have gathering every year since 2007 where we left our secondary school.
around 10.30pm i make a move from there and drive back home.
actually they have another second round of "Drink beer" (喝酒) + playing "iDarts" but i did not join due to my sickness.

finally i arrived back home at 11pm and my fever came back again and i took another Panadol again in hope that it will cure my illness without need to see doctor. (Total eat 3 Panadol today)

on the other hand, i do feel quite weird about where i spend my money as i have RM170+ in my wallet 3 days ago after withdraw RM100 from ATM + RM70 "Angpao" but now only left RM20 where i also don't know why so fast finish.

later on, i just have some chat with my sister and feel what's she say was quite meaningful as i should be more appreciate about what i have now in my life.
for example, she shared that some of the African kids works for no salary and each day they are dying from hungry or disease because no clean water to drink.
so "before you complain about the taste of your food, think of someone who has nothing to eat" as shown picture below.

another sad story was about sometime we can see a woman beggar carry a baby and do you know why the baby does not cry often?
well, the answer is the woman let the baby drinks alcohol or feed drugs where you must be wonder why the woman can be so cruel to the baby and the fact is some of the baby is not their own baby.

therefore you can see why so many kidnap case happening nowadays as the kidnapper will cut their "target's leg/hand" in order to beg more money for them.
at last, today was Friday and it was the Chan Fong (大城心事) sharing program but i don't have the recording podcast where it only left "Chinese word's log" as below.
___________________________________
1) 第一位：阿Chew～上次話說自己請了一些熟人朋友回來幫忙他一起做工結果卻把生意搞得一團糟的，因為他們吃他的錢；但是現在一切都在慢慢回覆正常了。【陳峰說他嘴硬心軟的性格比較難應付那些人事上的問題，凡事應該照公司的規矩和規則做事才是最佳管道】

2) 第二位：Mr Ong～事業問題（大學畢業生 / 法律系），他有想過自己出來創業當個小老闆而放棄從事和法律有關的行業，理由是因為他看見自己身邊的朋友每個大學都還沒畢業就自己出來當老闆而且也都很成功。【陳峰大哥覺得當老闆不單單只是教育上的高低問題，關鍵是個人的性格還有社會經驗也是個重點因素；按部就班不心急更是無可避免的】
3) 第三位：Elian（新加坡的朋友）～打電話進來是要祝陳峰大哥新年快樂，還有閒聊。

4) 第四位：Jack～上次話說他是因為曾經左手因工受傷而失去自信心很長一段時間的那位聽眾，現在也終於順利回去開工了，他很謝謝陳峰大哥當時的勸服令他重整信心回到工作崗位上。

5) 第五位：王 / 黃小姐（電子採購員）～工作問題，她覺得很辛苦但是薪水比較高，因為之前她是做 Admin 的；所以一時之間適應不了。【陳峰大哥覺得如果她是有事業能力和野心的話這份行業就可能很快衝破瓶頸了，就要看她自己想要追求的是什麽東西了】

6) 第六位：阿利～他本身有兩個太太，想問一山不能藏二虎是否真的存在可能性（故事的整體結構就聽得不太清楚）。【陳峰大哥認為他的二老婆可能是因為不習慣他那裡的生活環境而選擇離開那樣的新村生活】

7) 第七位：阿萍～她打電話進來要祝賀陳峰大哥新年快樂，他說自己聽《大城心事》已經將近十年了；其實她的心事是九年前丈夫過世的事情至今還在念念不捨。【陳峰大哥叫她凡事都往前看，一切都會過去的】

8) 第八位：新加坡的德士師傅（常客）～他打電話進來純粹只是要祝賀陳峰大哥還有所有聽眾新年快樂 & 人日快樂、恭喜發財、萬事如意 & 身體健康等等。

9) 第九位（最後一位）：李麗珍（已婚 / 有四個孩子）～。她覺得做人很辛苦，她說自己是個患有憂鬱癥又有肺癆病，她一心為孩子和丈夫忙碌奔波不知道最後為的是什麽；她覺得對自己很不值得。【陳峰大哥建議她選一個宗教控制自己的心靈以便得到支撐點和寄託順便也可以令日子過得充實一些】
___________________________________

in conclusion, i just can say the reason for blogging everyday seems to be for record my own "life logs" for future reference and i did like it after express my feelings out which is like throwing rubbish although it was in my own broken language.
in fact, i do know that it is just a matter of time that "Lonely Reload" (me) will quite blogging as you can see one of the experienced blogger announced that "After 8 years, 3 months and 12 days, this will be the last post on "Jason Mumbles" where i feel it will happened to me soon.
seriously i did have a "contradict feelings" within myself although i am just 5 years of blogging instead of 8 years like him.
therefore i can say this is the downside of blogging and guess this is "the end" for a blogger to express so much feelings on the online atmosphere.
>.<

today i woke up at 8.40am.
somehow the fever+flu still did not reduce and i tried another "healing strategy" which turn off the fan, use a blanket to cover my whole body while sleeping.
when i wake up again at 11.20am, my body seems to be still in the "hot mode" and i just took a Panadol again after ate something.
well, it does help to cure my fever and i just hope it will not get any worst later on.
during the afternoon, mother cooked "Min Hun Ker" (板面) noodles as our lunch.
then i just check on some news and information again.
it seems that i still haven get the confirmation for my SHU application although i key in all the necessary information and submitted it yesterday.

anyways, i would like to share something about "Loneliness VS Masturbation" issues after i stumble upon few articles online.
well, loneliness is a complex and usually unpleasant emotional that response to isolation such as having and anxious feelings about a lack of connectivity or communication with other people, both in the present and extending into the future.
somehow this kind of lonely emotions can become a prison to a person because it can cause them to keep "dwelling" (dwell) of their past story and bring it to the present stage.
everyday we view our lives, make decisions, make social contacts through a fragmented emotional state and if we do not seek help, some of those decisions will be costly and may remain with us all our lives just like what i had experience before.

as for masturbation, it is the sexual stimulation of the genitals, usually to the point of orgasm where the stimulation can be performed using the hands, fingers, everyday objects, or dedicated sex toys.
somehow i do feel it is "okay" to talk about this kind of topic as i grow older and studies have found that masturbation is frequent in humans of both sexes and all ages.
most of the time people will relate lonely with masturbation as it can generate "Sexual Fantasies" when a person dwell on a sexual encounters.
the step in overcome masturbation is to realize why are you masturbate whether is it because you are feeling lonely or is it because you are gratified of some perfect sexual partner which you do not have in real life.'
moreover, you have to understand that masturbation does prevent loneliness and such fantasies but it does not bring you a perfect partner.

on the other hand, if you did not have any choice to "hold" your "hamsapness/pervert" feelings, then don't where you will have an alternative to buy some "adult product" to satisfy your "needs".
well, you can take a visits to Adam & Eve website to satisfy your 18+ needs.

for over more than 40 years, Adam & Eve is the leading "adult toys" company as a trusted and reliable in the USA whether male or female, straight or gay and anywhere in between.
the layout of the website is quite user friendly and the response for clicks is fast.
furthermore, there are various of categories to choose from as you can see picture below.

in addition, they offered Free Shipping on all Orders when you spend $69 or above and there is another Free Gift with Purchase of $17 or above.
furthermore, they also provide money back guarantee during the first 90 days of ownership.

at last, they provide Discreet Brown-Box Shipping where the orders are delivered in unmarked envelopes and boxes to preserve your privacy.
this is important to the receiver as if you are staying with your parents, you will not want anyone to know that you got buy the adult related products.
so have you ready to masturbate on another lonely Friday night? (LOL)

during the evening, i just went to rest as i haven fully recovered from my illness.
the moment i woke up again was 8.10pm and have the noodles again as my dinner.
in conclusion, i just hope that i can faster recover from my illness as there is still one more day for me to rest because i will be start working on this coming Monday.
>.<

today i woke up at 11.30am.
well, my throat was getting more pain and i quickly drink a lot of water.
after that, i get myself prepared because will be going out to have some lunch and visits a relative house.
around 12.10pm we make a move from home and went to the V Garden Restaurant (辉煌大酒家).
it is because my uncle was one of the "Cantonese association community" and he bought the ticket for us.
the lunch started with "Yee Sang", continued with "Poon Choi", fish vegetables and others.
somehow i do feel a bit "pity" for the magician because everyone is busy eating instead of watching him performing as shown picture below.

on the other hand, i do listened a lot of different kind of story from my uncle and other's old uncles that sit same table with us but i don't know it real or not.

for example, he say the "Cantonese Association" (广东会馆) does not make any income when organize this kind of event and even all the top management member need to pay extra to fund this kind of event.
moreover, some of them pay the scholarship (奖励金) as a motivation's education fund for youngster who score an A for Chinese subject.
another kind of sponsor is about giving any Chinese's family who have give birth to more than 4 children a reward of RM1000 as a motivation to increase Chinese population.
however, i don't it is effective because raising a children is so damn hard compare to the older generation when they talk about our younger generation don't feel like giving birth.
after that, the event is continued with some little game to win some "Angpao", lucky draw hamper and the chairman's speech.

well, the Chairman (会长) apologize for coming late because he was attend the Prime Minister Najib where they organize an open house for Chinese New Year as there was 333 tables+ at don't know where today.
however, i do get an "insider news" that every association leader who go for the open house can get RM2,000 (don't know for what and i don't know it is true or not since there is no online source said where i just heard from people about this sensitive things)
in addition, i also heard something like the government will keep give out money to attract more votes where one of the uncle said "they don't care liao since the money they use was our AH KONG money" and this might explain why they might increase the BR1M financial fund of RM500 increase to RM1000.
anyways, i just feel that luckily i am blogging with an anonymous identity because if not, i might be arrested into jail for "misleading" people to gain vote for opposition.

after that, we went to one of my relative house at Bukit Kemuning and arrived there at 3pm.
somehow i have a very sad feelings during the moment at there and can't express it out because it is something i dislike about my own father. (as a son, i can't really say some bad thing about him)
seriously i just have a "Wanna cry feelings" and this proved that not everything can be express out so freely in the online world no matter how anonymous i am.
around 5.20pm we make a move from there and my sister's husband just can fetch me to Bandar Tasik Selatan KTM instead of Asia Jaya LRT as it is not very convenient. (顺路)

therefore this have gave me a very "sucks" feelings of "no money to buy car" inside my heart.

anyways, i reached the TBS Terminal Bersepadu Selatan around 6.05pm as below.

it is because the feeling is like "Chap Sang" (捡生) which means figure it out yourself when i at there.

then i just asked around and read the guide as you can see below when i was at the Tasik Selatan station as shown below.

around 7pm i reach Wangsa Maju LRT and went to have my dinner at Kopitiam Desa (好口味糖水小点) where i still like the cheap food at there with my favourite "Laici Tofu" dessert.
after that, i went to cut my hat at Mocco hair studio and just feel quite "sucks" when they said there is no RM15 for student cut promotion during Chinese New Year.
moreover, it is also cost RM26 if you just want to cut your hair without wash and left me no choice.
furthermore, i do feel myself quite "bias" when a guy washed+massage my hair because normally this is done by a girl.
however, i also have a little chat with the hair washer guy and it seems that he was same age with me.

then i just comforted myself that "lonely reload ah lonely, you still want how oh? people same age with you work as hair washer also no complain/whine so much like i did" where i talking to myself.
around 7.40pm i went to take bus back KL house and finally reached home at 8.10pm.
somehow i do feel a little "sucks" again when received a SMS message that i have won a grand price of RM20,000 from The Shell but the website shown is ww.shell-malay.co.nf where it look so obvios that it is a scam message as shown below. (wonder how they can get so much number to send?)

after that, i continue to check on my SHU online application status.
then i found that i have a record in their system that i had registered during 18 December 2011 and myself do read back my post on that day as shown below.

certainly it is "sucks" to read back on that day post as i say want to have a new goal but end up like nothing.

in fact, that time i had applied to Sheffield Hallam University with a failed result.
anyways, it is to see it back now where i did questioned myself "WTF i doing that time?" in my heart.
at last, i want to talk about my "promoting adult product" post yesterday and want to admit that it is consider as a "sponsored" post where i need to put the advertiser links.
therefore i had "hold" my yesterday feeling as it is related to a "Very Poor Feelings" that make me feel emos.
so if i had written too much of my personal feelings, advertiser might not happy, if advertiser not happy, there is no money for me.
in fact, it is a "Write First+Publish, Pay Later" basis where i had take a risk by waiting for their payment to me since they was from the United States company.
hopefully this will be not another "Scam/Cheat" case that i will being conned by the advertiser.

moreover, all because of the "poor feelings" i have, it make me so desperate until accept to promote it.
sometime i did feel "funny loh" for myself that my blog post just can attract those "18++ things" as it is like "No blogger want write about it, then only me willing to accept" this kind of offer.
furthermore, it was my first time to promote an adult website after so many years of writing own feelings.
over time i feel myself seems to be "changed" because of MONEY as you can see my case now.
therefore i have no rights to say one of a "Girl Fan Page" that she have around 170K fans because last time when i ask whether she have provide advertising for her page and she say NO but now she say YES.
therefore this had proved that over time, a people can lose to the power of MONEY no matter boys or girls just like what i feel too as i grow older.
so i just feel that this concluded that not everything came free in this world.

guess it was true that no one really give a "shxt"of what you feel and this might generate a negative attitude of "if you are poor, that's your problem" in our society.
however, it would be great if the advertiser really pay me and this explained why some people write article also can earn until 5 figure income every month in a part time basis.
in addition, i do wonder if the government pay me RM10,000 for writing good stuff to support "BX", i would accept it too since i am desperate for money?
the reason why i having this "very poor feelings" which is like "Poor Dao Si" [Poor Until Die] (穷到死) was because this coming week i need settle the two payment of "A bank draft for the amount £300 payable to Sheffield Hallam University and another bank draft for the amount RM200 payable to Kolej Tunku Abdul Rahman" for my SHU application.

another reason i feel "emo" when some online friend thought i am so rich in real life when got so much follower and reader in my blog but the fact that i what i write is based of my feelings 99% of the time.
however, if you like to earn some income from writing, you can try Sponsored Reviews as i have personally earn some bucks from it last time.
the disadvantage f accepting it was the blogger will only accept 50% of the payment.
as an example, advertiser pay you 10 USD to write but you only get 5 USD in the end.
moreover writing too much of the sponsored post will definitely spoil your website credibility.
in the end, i would like to advice all girls who read my blog to find rich guy to marry with because a poor guy will whine a lot and having a lot of problem when facing the materialism world. (don't compare with boys who still living in Kampung rural area)

in conclusion, i just want to say that time really can change a person feelings/behavior.
so i might just another hypocrite guy too in future. (hope i will still maintain this "naive" thought by that time)

wow, tonight is such a long post today and all thanks to my phone's note that i had written the short note in it yesterday.

before i end my post, i would like to share an interesting video about "The Science of Love" as shown below or the link >>> Here.

over time, i really tried my very best to understand what is LOVE and this "question" seems to be still one of the main motivation that why i still continue to write my blog post everyday.

tomorrow will be a new start for me as i will be start working and i hope i am able to delete all me negative feelings based on the first impression since i don't know what will happen also.
=D

today i woke at 7.35am.
somehow i still remember that i have a hard time sleeping yesterday as i was lying down on the bed for quite some time trying to sleep because tomorrow is my first day working in gaming industry.
moreover, don't know why my leg having a little pain and the i still can't fall asleep when i check the clock was from 3am until 4am i still haven sleep.
in fact, yesterday was a "Pai Tian Kong" (拜天公) event for Hokkien people but i did not celebrate it.
anyways, i just quickly prepared myself because my working time will start at 9.30am.
around 8.35am i make a move from house but took a taxi because afraid will arrive late to Kl Central.
as i reach Wangsa Maju LRT, i saw some of my friend and we took the LRT together although i just meet them few weeks ago before Chinese New Year 2013.

when i reach the KL Central at 9.10am, i can't have Mc Donalds as my breakfast although i want to eat because my sore throat illness haven cure yet.
somehow i reach there early 15 minutes and the environment of the office was looks okay to me.
during the morning, i did not do anything since the PC haven setup for me and it is lack of some hardware.
well, i just got to know few new colleagues and realized that our boss was a Japanese guy.
around 12.30pm i went to have my lunch with the Japanese boss and a colleague.
frankly speaking, i do feel a little regret that i did not take the initiative/motivation to take the learning Japanese language during the moment at Tar College although it require to pay extra RM200+.
if i ever take that extra paid course last time, i would definitely understand what are they talking about since he was talking with another colleague that also speak Japanese language.

therefore i do feel a little awkward when they speaking and i just can smile when they laugh.
besides, the boss also quite looks quite humble when he speak English we me and i do questioned him a lot of things as i was curious about Japan's related information.
for example, he told me all the Sushi King, Sakae Sushi, Sushi Zanmai, Sushi Tei and other local brand's Japanese restaurant is having different taste when compared with Japan's Japanese restaurant because the Malaysian's Japanese restaurant had been "localized" to suite with the local market taste.
moreover, i just know that why some Japanese people ate Whale's meat was because they was poor during those olden days as it is consider illegal to eat Whales nowadays where it is an endangered animal.
anyways, the boss do eat before the Whales meat and the Japanese most famous Bluefin tuna's (cost few hundred per small pieces) where he say it is quite nice to eat. (i don't know, never eat before)

furthermore, my boss seems to like to play golf and i feel that it is essential to know someone interest before can create a conversation with people.
upon back to office, i do get a new monitor but need to format the PC which spend most of my time.
therefore we just a have a little meeting and i do start to feel stress and i not sure whether i am capable to handle it or not as i did not have that kind of those "in-depth analytical tracking" knowledge.
one thing i can confirm now is no matter what company you go, you should not expect the company to teach you much thing because they was hire you to help company to earn money, not to educate you where you need to research all the available source by yourself and come out with an solution.
therefore that's why i was feelings "stress" because i might incapable to handle it but i keep told myself "die die" also need to settle it and don't feel afraid as long as i will not "die" for the worst case scenario.

it is because if i can't meet up to their working requirement, the worst case i will face is they "fired" (sack) me or i leave the company only right?
in addition, i keep told myself that don't like last few week ago having the "First day or last working day" feelings, then confident drop when i still waiting offer letter at the second day and finally resign after working 3 days for Free.
anyways, i think i should not think so much and just stick to the main objective which is to help company to maximize profits no matter using what techniques despite the feelings is like influence the youngster to become addicted on games so that they will spend more money to play games.
in fact, no business can survive without any sales/income and this is the harsh truth i must accept whereby if no sales, company how to provide salary to me?

at last, i think my situation now was quite "dangerous" as i just know so many "in depth analysis" information when they trusted me by showing me all the company credential information of private reports.

around 7.40pm i make a move from the office after "pretend pretend to be hardworking" work till so late as it one of the "working skills" that i learn from superior last time.

guess what, i just feel my life seems to be so "coincidence" as one year and this month, it was my first time working for Marketing Executive job but luckily i had cleared now when reading back the old post and now two day after the date of last year, i am still writing a similar post of working first day.

after that, i just took LRT back to Wangsa Maju and have my dinner in Kopitiam Desa again at 8.20pm.

finally i arrived back home at 8.45pm and just feel quite tiring but quickly went to take a quick bath to get myself energetic.

well, i would like to have a little confession about my yesterday post for having "Very Poor Feelings (穷到死)" mindset.
frankly speaking, i do know what is poor really means such as no place to say, no food to eat but the "poor feelings" i mention here is myself have a "poor" heart feelings.
for example, i do have a childish and immature thought to my own father that "haiz, father ah father ah, you do business so long liao still haven success, some more say got almost 30 years of experience in the printing field, other's friend father got open factory already living in big bangalow house by their age now, having few luxury car parked in their house, when they son/daughter want buy car, their father direct help them pay a lot of down/full payment for the car whereas your son (me), keep whining and complain about how poor he is and now working for others people" which is something i would never say in real life.

furthermore, my fathers seems to be easily angry nowadays partly because the business not good.
in addition, you might say that i should be proud to use own capability to earn money to pay for my own living expenses but who will really give a damn to me when my banks account left very less (don't feel to say, see liao also very sad) money that eventually generate the "poor" feelings that i having now.
therefore it just end up giving me a "jelly" feelings when i just can see rich people always gets the things they want so easily with their parents bank.
however, would i become a mean person if i came from rich family or ended up as a "Bai Ga Zai" (败家子) that is like a prodigal son?
somehow it might be true that when you did have the thing you have and when you get it, you will eventually tends to be more appreciate and treasure it.

for my case if i want to be rich, it seems that finding rich people or rich connection is the only way and this is why people likes to be crony with the government to get those project/tenders.
maybe this can explain why the opposition political party just can "butthurt" to see the government simply spend money because themselves can't due to poor? (no idea, simply say)

after thinking deeply, i think i realized something very important which is despite having the "childish thought" that mention just now where i would never say in real life to my father, i think i should look back on myself that "wahlau, lonelyreload ah, yourself also so hard earn money and you also know money is so hard to earn, why you blame your father woh for not success?" which is quite true and make myself "emos" again.
over time, i used to keep track of myself by keep updating my feelings to see whether i have improved or not but it seems like there is still a long journey for me to grown mature.

that's why i can't really blame why those girls want to choose a mature guys as their husband.
besides, i would like to share an interesting picture about "11 ways to be un-remarkably average" as below.
_______________________________

1) Accept what people tell you at face value.
2) Don't question authority.
3) Go to college because you're supposed to, not because you want to learn something.
4) Sit at a desk 40 hours a week for an average of 10 hours of productive work.
5) Go overseas once or twice in your life, always to somewhere safe and easy.
6) Get the largest mortgage you qualify for and spend 30 years paying for it.
7) Don't try to learn another language, everyone else will eventually learn English.
8) Think about writing a book, but never do it.

9) Think about starting your own business, but never do it.
10) Don't stand out or draw attention to yourself.
11) Jump through hoops check off boxes.
Here lies an un-remarkably average man. You don't have to live your life the way other people expect you to.
_______________________________
perhaps i will just end up "dying alone" like the guy did working for others people and only get a material rewards that does not bring him happiness in the end of his life.
anyways, this post was finished updated at 1am and i seems to be still so keen to update my post everyday despite i know i have left not enough time to sleep and wake up to continue work for tomorrow. (anyone want donate me money for writing so long? LOL)
in fact, i am sad that i seems to be got cheated from promoting the "adult products" where the advertiser did not reply me back after i had done it.
T.T

today i woke up at 7.50am.
then i just quickly get myself prepared to work.
somehow i just feel it is quite "sienz" (bored) to wait for the bus to come.
around 9.15am i reached KL Sentral and went to buy a hotdog bread as my breakfast.
during the morning, i was doing my work and looks like there is nothing much to talk about since it was a working stuff.
besides, i do feel that how great if i know what's is my boss talking about when it is in Japanese language.
during the afternoon, i just went to the food court nearby the Sooka Sentral if i am not mistaken to have our lunch with other colleagues.
well, it seems like that kind of comparison of "poor and rich" feelings come back again.

for example, if you say poor people so much no money eat rice, but i just feel that there is so many "rich" people there when saw so much people eating at those Chili Espresso and Olive cafe.
moreover, the price range at the Sooka food court was ranged from RM6 to RM10 but most of it was at RM10 per meal.
the things i am trying to say here is when you're poor, you will be very calculative just like during the morning when i buy the bread for just only RM1.50, i did have a feeling of don't feel to buy.
therefore it will eventually make me don't even have the mood to think about any girl because ownself also (Gao Ng Tim) can't manage, how to think of others?
moreover, when have the "poor feelings", i don't even have the bravery to see any beautiful girl where i have a low self esteem.

sometime i did feel myself so "funny" because "see girl also no dare liao, how to talk about chase girl" right?
seriously nowadays i am trying to be more realistic when counting my own spending.
therefore i keep told myself "die die" also must "tahan" (hold) until first month salary come out no matter what problem i faced working in the new company.
it is because i can't blame anyone because no degree certification for now is like this as there is not much choice to choose to work.
whereas when some people say why do that kind of job that no future, i just that kind of "childish" feelings that "if i say i no money eat rice, you feed me ah?" which is quite sucks.
upon back office, i still struggling finding the "conversion tracking" method and did feel myself was incapable to handle it.

at once i do ask myself what did i learn and the answer seems to be still quite blur.
one thing for sure is no matter what, those "working skills" really need time to train.

around 7.20pm i make a move from office and went to have my dinner at Wangsa Maju Kopitiam Desa.

it is because that shop offer the most cheapest noodles which is just cost for RM3 with water.

finally i arrived back home at 8.25pm and suddenly accidentally break my house's tap water as below.

somehow i just feel why "so suey" (bad luck) one as this had caused a lot problem to some of my others housemate as the whole house did not have water for about 30 minutes.
then my room mate went up to the "Tangki water" (water tank) at our rooftop to "stuck" the "hole" and the time to do all this thing already at 11pm.
after that, i went to settle some "printing artwork" that my father ask me to settle.

seriously i feel today life is so really pack and time seems to be not enough as i still haven settle so many things as for the SHU deadline this week. (used all Angpao+ parent help to pay)
at last, it seems that the hottest topic for nowadays was about the "Harlem Shake Trends" dance after the Gangnam Style trends was over.
according to Wiki, the Harlem Shake dance begins with one person (often helmeted or masked) dancing to the song alone for 15 seconds, surrounded by other people not paying attention or unaware of the dancing individual, when the bass drops, the video switches to the entire crowd doing a crazy convulsive dance for the next 15 seconds.
anyways, below was the "DO THE HARLEM SHAKE (ORIGINAL)" as below or the link >>> Here.

in addition, i just hope my sore throat will be cured by eating Strepsils or drink 100 plus and eat Panadol pills if i got fever instead of seeking for doctor treatment. (got so poor meh? i really start like to talk with myself nowadays when being alone)

on the other hand, i do myself so "sucks" because have such "childish thought" of my father yesterday although i did not say out in real life and anonymous comments was right that "Your father managed to provide all his children with a good education - that's what I call success. You should appreciate your father as he has provided for you all these years. Some children need to work even in primary schools and do not even have enough money to go to secondary school. I think your father would be very sad to know that sometimes you think of him this way" which is so true.
perhaps what's my brother say was right that if you did not voice out your real opinion, people will still have a good impression about you as a "good guy image" and that's explain why people who can act good guy tends to have more girls like.
anyways, the picture below do reveal the truth about social media in real life nowadays.

it is because when i asked myself that writing a diary should be just feel for own private record instead of sharing out in a public way of blogging right? (whine so much for what? =.=)
>.<

today i woke up at 8am.
well, my sore throat seems to be not getting much better as i still hope it will "cure" itself if i drank a lot of water everyday.
anyways, i just quickly get myself prepared and went to work.
around 9.10am i arrived KL Sentral and did not buy any breakfast this time.
then i just do my so call "working related" stuff as i still haven settle some "marketing plan" activity.
somehow i did feel that it is not easy think of a "creative idea" as it might looks like copying some other people idea and enhance it with our idea.
during the afternoon, i walked to Brickfields with my superior and just feel the food was quite expensive too at there where i just ordered the "Lu Rou Fan" (gravy pork) that cost about RM9 including one Chinese tea.

we just have a little conversation since i feel there might be some "generation gap" but i do like his sharing.
well, 10 years ago when he was having a Degree in Malaysia, the salary earned can achieve RM2K+ and that time it is consider quite a lot but now seems to be still the same yet the living expenses keep increasing.
therefore he just say don't know how our generation now can survive or want to buy a house at young age.
besides, i do saw a girl that really look alike with the girl i like when i was eating nearby there but sadly it is not after looking quite close.
anyways, i just feel that i need to get "forced" in order to "die out something" whereby my deadline for the marketing strategy planning is at tomorrow afternoon and this make me used a lot of "brain juice" while writing and researching a lot of information.
around 7pm i make a move from office because tonight my "life schedule" was quite rush.

while i was sitting at the train on my way to back Klang, i saw a blind man that "gave me some hope" to be grateful in life whereby even though he was blind, he did not give and worked as a blind massage as i saw his uniform was something like Blind Persons' Association.
around 8.05pm i reach Klang KTM and waited 10 minutes for my father to fetch me.
then i arrived back home at 8.35pm and mother cooked some noodles as my dinner since i did not eat anything after "punch out" the card from the office.
the reason for me to back hometown is to get the £300 pound (RM1500) cheque pay to Sheffield Hallam University and RM200 pay to Tunku Abdul Rahman College and this feeling is like last year as below.

besides, i still need to find my Diploma and Advance Diploma transcript because i couldn't find it at my KL house as the deadline for SHU application was at 22nd or 23rd February 2013 if i am not mistaken.

anyways, i do feel thankful to parents as they help me to pay half of it together with all my "Angpao" (red packet) money during Chinese New Year.
therefore i can say i am officially "broke" now and it is true that my brother said there is no use to tell other's people about how "poor" you are now as it was not their concern.
around 9.40pm we make a move from home and i reached Klang's KTM at 10pm.
somehow i did feel a quite pity when saw an old uncle picking up plastic bottles/cans from one dusbin to another dusbin.
besides, my sister phoned me to chat while when i was waiting the train to arrive at 10.25pm.
well, i just feel that the reason why i feel "poor" easily was because looking at other's people earning in the surface without looking in deeper about the effort they used.

as an example, when i see my sister seems to be earn a lot of $$, but i did not know that she need "support" don't what IT bank's technical stuff from 12am to 4am after working hour at some specific days.
somehow i just spend my time reading those marketing book that i borrowed from Tarc Library and reached KL Sentral at 11.20pm.
then i just took LRT back to Wangsa Maju and arrived there at 11.55pm.
luckily the "taxi" (cab) did not charge me extra when exceeding midnight (12am) but i do have some feeling that the KL Sentral LRT seems to be quite "tricky" because if the LRT arrived at 11.30pm, most of the people will need to take taxi to back home which might cause "double charge" when pass midnight.
finally i arrived back home at 12.10pm.
while reading back my yesterday post, i do feel quite "funny" when there is so much grammar error.

it is because i don't really have much time to check it for second time whether got typo error or any mistake where i just click publish after finish writing most of the time when writing.
at last, i just feel that the world is all about advertising as everyone is promoting something no matter what products it is including myself.
well, we need to understand that people buy things for reason, not because of us.
recently someone said that they were afraid to market things online because a lot of the information that they wants or plan to sell was already available for free that is quite true and how should we look at this problem with a positive attitude?
first of all, NOTHING can sells by itself as it is not because you have it on your shelf or website, it does not mean anyone will buy it.

even if it is free, most of the people will treat it as "free" and totally under value the information which possibly treat it as "worthless" because they get it for free instead of buying.
therefore the success of selling require a lot of reason for people to buy it and one of it was you need to give better to your prospects on every REASON you can think of to buy your product so they can pick the one's that appeal most to them.
next, NOTHING is really "FREE" anyway or too good to be true. (except maybe air, water?)
actually there is a lot of FREE information on the Internet but does it really FREE and i start to feel that it is not consider as free.
for example, you might not notice some of the "information" already been paid through advertising dollars and some cases it will still cost you TIME to search for the information.

remember, TIME is even more valuable than money because you can't make any more when your time ends.
some people like information delivered by words, audio sound waves, newsprint, magazines, books or read it on webpages.
so you must ask yourself that why should people buy your information on the Internet out of all of those million or billion competitor's website out there and the answer seems to be CREATIVITY.
well, the answer seems to be you need to find a way to re-package it by the way your customer wants it delivered in order to make yourself a profit because you can't lock-up a content as it is meant to be shared and, if you can, make a profit from it in more ways than one.
seriously i feel that when i reads more, i realized that i have learned more and can related all things that happened to me last time.

for an example, last time i did accept to write a sponsored review for just only RM20 per post for Propwall as it is like just happened yesterday although it is dated 2009 as shown below.

through this experience, i realized how the website owner use other's people resource to promote themselves as if you know Propwall, iBilik and Car Sifu is all seems to be same owner whereby i just can envy his successful story and i still remain complaining/whine my life after so many years had past.
moreover, i finally received $100 USD from promoting the adult products but deduct tax as shown below.

it is because at first i thought they are cheating/scamming as i did not receive any reply after sending few day continuously to ask about it.

anyways, it is proven that it is real and i just feel happy when know it is real but if think on the negative side, it might not good to promote such product.
however, now i might understand why some blogger say they can earn few thousand extra a might by just spending one hour writing.
for example, if one day i can earn 100$ from writing one post, 30 days = 100$ x 30 = 3000$ which is equal to RM9,000 by just spending some time to write?
somehow it is easy to say than do because it was my first time to receive so much $$ especially when i was "poor" recently.
in conclusion, i hope that any reader's who reading this will not misunderstood that i the reason i blogging was to earn money (although got a little now) but i will try to be myself as i can say 95% of my post is not sponsored and it is all based on my "passion" on writing my life everyday. (since not much people care mah, then hope got a little blogger friend care for me loh)
hopefully tomorrow the Tarc Admin's staff will get ready my transcript as i have requested earlier and i really don't which this will be the obstacle for me to proceed SHU UK as i had delayed a year.
on the other hand, my coughing seems to be getting worst like having "vomit" feelings, maybe it because i am over addicted with blogging as this post was finish writing from 1.40am to 2.45am, yet i still need to wake up at 7am+ tomorrow?
in fact, I am "playing my real life game" in a hard mode compare with those rich people.
T.T

today i woke up at 7.40am.
somehow i still have a little coughing but i just ignore it.
then i just quickly prepared myself to work as i seems to "catch up" with the arrival time of the bus.
when i reach KL Sentral at 9.10am, i went to buy a chicken ham sandwich for just RM2.50 as i think it is important to have at least some breakfast.
after that, i just continue to my working related stuff as there is nothing much to talk about.
around 1pm i went to Sooka Sentral with a colleague senior and had some great chat with him.
it seems that there is an available option for a cheaper food where the Hong Kong noodles cost for RM6.
well, he also quite agree that certificate is not very important as it was just a "ticket" to enter a company and your start up salary.

moreover, he also say that he took his degree on a part time basis to complete instead of taking full time.
however, it is still depends on the institution because different course have different requirement as he was in the programming field.
somehow i start to think a lot again when looking at my case about why i wanted to go UK to get a degree and the answer seems to be just working in a big company to get higher salary.
therefore this might show that i might be just a "safe worker" instead of a risk taker that want to be an entrepreneur but end up "empty talk" again.
furthermore, i was in a contradict feelings again because i don't see there is much future in the marketing field as most of the demand require was technical skills.

perhaps the key to "survive" in this world is to keep changing with the environment.

one thing i feel what he say was quite true that at the end, it is still depend whether you got interest to do it or not as i say i want to develop an iPhone apps but keep finding excuse.
upon arrived back office, i just presented all the marketing strategy to some colleagues and they just agree with it but i just hope they can share more about their ideas.
frankly speaking, i did have a feelings that the i have almost shared most of my "promoting skills" to them as i don't feel myself worth to the company after express so much of things.
guess i shall have a positive mindset that "at least i am benefits others instead of keeping it myself" although the negative mindset of "afraid to lose" keep coming in.
basically what i really working was actually "researching" and come out new marketing strategy or plan ideas at there.

anyways, i think what my friend say was right that if the company feel that i can't perform well in working, they might "fired" (sack) me just in two week time but i hope i will not face it.
no matter what, i will "hold till my last breath" at here since i need money to survive.
on the other hand, i was relief when i found out the way to do the setting of "goal setup" and "track campaign" but it still require some time to learn it by myself.
around 6.45pm i make a move from there and arrived Wangsa Maju at 7.20pm.
then i just went to the Kopitiam Desa again to have my lunch since they have the cheapest noodles there.
finally i arrived back home at 8pm and do the last check up for my SHU application.
besides, i do feel thankful to my friend and room mate who helped me to print and take the transcript to be certify tomorrow.

for now, i just can let the "God" to decide my journey of life since i had done what is require to.
somehow i still haven found out the new opportunity or reason for people to buy things but i hope one day i will discover it.
however, i just feel that it is good to be boss than an employer because a boss task is to manage people whereby if the employee can't perform, you just "fired" them and continue to find potential employee.
moreover, employee like me tends to be using time to exchange money as there is not much freedom.
at last, i still have a little communication with the "prostitute blogger review" since i was curious to know whether if a Virgin guy go find prostitute really will get "angpao" (red packet) and his reply was "if first time, they just give you ang pao la, just a token, but you still need to pay them money one" which is quite special.
in fact, i don't know whether i will get "influence" by his sharing or not if i keep on reading his blog.

it is because who will really know whether "a guy who go for P" will be the happiest guy or not other than worry to get the STD disease.
for an example, a rich guy can spend RM300 per night with a girl that he want and if you count in a year basis, it cost him about RM110,000 to get 365 different girls every night to be with? (don't know because it was my "funny" thought again)
before i end my post, i would like to share "Cheryl Lee Xin Yi" (李欣怡) "love story sharing" from 988 DJ.
somehow i do enjoyed listening to her voice as her face also look alike with the girl i like.
anyways, i would like to share a meaningful picture which is "there are two rules for success, never reveal everything you know" as below.

perhaps it is the truth but who will really know in the end?
=)

today i woke up at 7.55am.
then i just quickly get myself prepared to work by taking the bus to Wangsa Maju as usual.
around 9.10am i arrived KL Sentral and found a quite nice marble cake to eat as my breakfast where it only cost for RM1.40 per piece. (guess i will buy it everyday after this)
well, this week was almost the end of my first week of working in new company but i seems to be in a "blur" (not clear) condition while working.
somehow i do feel that the reason for company to hire me was to get all of my previous working experience about marketing and my task is keep contribute new ideas instead of learning from others people.
besides, a "headhunter" company phoned me during the morning and asked me whether interest to work in another company when they look on my resume.

guess it was true that seldom employee will hire or interview others people before Chinese New Year and i just feel that life is opportunity whereby it is always depend on yourself to decide what job you want to do.
therefore a good personalities played an important role when come to work because you need to have a positive mindset of learning no matter how hard it is.
around 12.35pm i went to have my lunch at Homie Recipe noodles shop in the Sooka Sentral again.
well, the noodles do taste nice but it was quite expensive as it cost about RM8.90 and the portion seems to be quite little.
upon back office, i just continue my working related stuff although i faced difficulties and frustration while researching Chinese advertising keywords for the upcoming game launching for next week since my Chinese was quite weak.

moreover, i don't have any senior to ask about because it was my job scope to create a "creative keyword" that can attract the attention from others people.
frankly speaking, i do envy about some colleagues as a "Game Master" (GM) in the game as their job scope was to monitor the inside activities and can always play game.
perhaps what i want is to do a easy job instead of working hard but i know that if i can handle my "marketing plan and execution" well, i can overcome all problem no matter which company i join.
however, i feel that the "dark side" of a marketing job is when the result of your planning does not go well, you will eventually become the "black sheep" (替死鬼) which is the person to blame for the failure.
around 6.45pm i make a move from office and meet my sister at Masjid Jamek LRT.
then we took another LRT to Bandar Tasik Selatan as her car was parked there.

well, i do have a lot of conversation with my sister as usual and she was the only who know that i express my feeling through blogging but she never visits my blog.
anyways, i get "shoot" (scold) from her because i don't appreciate much about the things i have and always keep talking empty instead of taking action to do something.
somehow i do feel what she said was quite true that about having a "positive law of attraction" is very important as she was "shoot" by his husband's sister asking her whether she have a dream or not.
it is because his husband's sister was quite a successful "direct sales" (Axway) seller as she bought many property despite her education level was low.
for example, when she have a dream to buy an expensive condominium, she will take the picture of it and look it everyday to remind herself to achieve it one day.

in the end, she have made it and the next target was to buy a Q5 Audi car and i guess that's the different between a successful people and a "poor" people like me as i always having negative thought.
however, i start to realized that why so many people want to go clubbing or high classes place was to get rich contact because most of the people there was too rich and if you go promote your product there, it is much easier than any other place as you just need to know how to socialize by "drinking" and others.
therefore the key to success might need to depend on finding rich people or if being a pioneer in business.
for example, why Kennysia blog so famous last time was because he was among the first to blog and there is not much people connected with social media website when compare to now.
moreover, Facebook has allowed anyone to create a page more easier than a blog that had become one of the reason why blogging has lost it glory and going to "die" soon.

somehow i think i have realized a lot of stuff that happening around through my own personal blogging experience despite most of my post was quite childish.
in fact, i feel that anyone also can become famous as long as you're rich.
for example, Danny Choo might not be famous if he did not came from rich family as his dad was the famous shoemaker Datuk Jimmy Choo.
this is because if you did not have money to travel around, don't have DSLR camera, how would you be able to even have the financial support to blog about the culture in Tokyo right?
furthermore, this also happen same to me as how can i express myself using blog if i did not have any internet connection and this might explain the theory of "everything that happens is somehow related to something" right? (guess i am butthurt of others people success? >.<)

on the other hand, i feel that this is happening the same to the Politician story.
for example, you might ask why it looks so peaceful when under the government control during last time and the answer seems to be because "no one know the true story" when compared to now.
if i am not mistaken, last time i will trust whatever news on the television or the newspaper but not now due to the variety source of information.
then here comes the opposition that keep reveal a lot of private and confidential information about "ugly truth" of the government although i not sure whether what they said was real or not as no one would really know but certainly a Change is needed.
anyways, i feel quite funny to see my friend said "Police are gangster without license. Politician is business man without modal and with big income. Resident of Malaysia is like the road side of dog and cat. (LOL)

finally i arrived back home at 8.10pm and mother cooked a delicious dinner for us as below.

in deed i do enjoyed with the food as there was many seafood hidden below the dish.
during the night, i do feel quite tired as i did not sleep much recently.
besides, i do feel thankful to the friend who helped me pass all my SHU related application as today was the deadline since i was working for the whole week. (depend on luck+$$ whether i can go UK or not)
around 10.30pm is the Chan Fong's (大城心事) story sharing program and below was the recording podcast from it.
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1) 第一位：林小姐～工作問題，她上司認為她是個女強人，對她的期望非常之高而且給她很大的壓力是她無法承受；現在她想轉行卻不知道該怎樣做出決定。【陳峰大哥建議她找回相同的行業然後試試看換到別家公司（找另一個新老闆）去嘗試同一個職位，比較興趣跟工作是沒有連帶性關係和直接的掛鉤】>>> Here.

2) 第二位：歡太～家裡事，她說這兩年多來都過得很不開心，她聲稱自己母親自從她在結婚後對她的態度就有極大的變化；就連她丈夫弄骯髒她家廁所的那種雜碎事都要給她臉色看甚至是對她惡言惡語。【陳峰大哥覺得她自己本身都有問題，不應該和老人家計較爭執；也許是之前有發生夠一些些的小問題累積而成導致】>>> Here.

3) 第三位：楊小姐（正在拍拖已經三年 / 目前和男友同居）～整體來說，就是自從她和男朋友同居後很不滿意他家裡人經常吃掉她買回去的食物和用她買回去的日用品，她非常不滿意男友家人對她這樣的行為最後因此還牽扯到倆人之間的感情問題。【總的來說，就連面子書上的網友聽完之後都批評她是個太計較的人；另一方面，陳峰大哥還置評她說是個很大小姐的脾氣更覺得她是個斤斤計較的人（陳峰大個勸她凡事忍一忍不要太計較應該改變自己的想法和態度面對他們）】>>> Here.

4) 第四位：（某位大約三十多歲的小姐）～她有著個很複雜的背景和過去也曾經做過雞，然後現在交了一個男朋友爲了不想讓對方知道那些不而選擇隱瞞對方，她不知道這樣做是對還是錯；自己的心態上又覺得很難受不好過（因為現在她懷孕了）。【陳峰大哥覺得她應該坦白從寬告訴對方也會令自己好過一些，放下過去的包袱踏踏實實的走出黑暗；至於接受與否就要考驗對方對她真心的程度了】

5) 第五位：阿利（上個拜五才播過電話進來說自己是有兩個太太跑掉一個的）～他今天打電話來只是要延續上次的那段故事。【陳峰大哥還是一而再的強調，勸告他一定要忘記那個女人（所謂的“她”）因為那個女人有可能是存心是來騙財的】>>> Here.

6) 第六位：張小姐（最後一位）（新加坡打電話來的 / 曾經離過婚）～她目前交了一個新的男朋友，只是她不能接受對方的一個壞習慣就是很喜歡看女孩子，他們時常因為這個原因而吵架。【陳峰大哥不認為男人看其他的女人並無大礙，畢竟那個男人除了愛看美女之外也沒有其他的壞習慣和不良嗜好，如果能夠的話就把自己那種活在個人完美主義的心態調整到工作上就好了】>>> Here.
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as for the "Cheryl Lee Xin Yi" (李欣怡) 2 hour recording podcast on my yesterday post, i had failed to upload as the file was on my KL house and it was error. (maybe i will fix it when i go back)
somehow i do feel that the more i read/listen on others people story, the more i realize how immature i was as a 23 years old guy.
perhaps only time can make someone really grown up to become more mature and that's explain why "old uncle" (30++) tends to be more attractive to girls.
in conclusion, i just feel that how much more i can express my feelings through blogging and looks like there is not much benefits other than just "throwing out my inner rubbish" or some sponsored post?
maybe the answer for me to keep continue writing was because i just don't want to work or do anything? (might just run away one day, just a matter of time)
=P

today i woke up at 7am.
somehow i just feel that the reason i can wake up automatically at such early was because i awake at the similar time for this week.
anyways, mother have prepared prawn "Siu Mai" (dumpling) as my breakfast and i liked it very much as shown picture below.

then i just continue to surf some information online again to get some idea.
actually i have planned to complete my "working related stuff" by this weekend since i have not finished it during my working hour but it quite hard to think about new creative idea.
in fact, i still worry i might get "fired" (sack) next week if i can't perform well as the game launching event was just few more days to go.

besides, i do feel that working is actually quite same with study whereby you need to research yourself and come up with an idea written in words, then convince your boss with your strategic marketing plan.
after some moment, i start to feel tired and went to take a nap.
the moment i woke up again was 1.40pm and mother cooked chicken rice as our lunch.
after that, she continue to cook a lot of food (around 8 different dishes) because my mother's side relative (20++ people) will came to our house tonight for a small open house gathering.
on the other hand, there is another "headhunter" company phoned me and asked about my current working status as i haven update back my latest availability in the job market on the website.
somehow i just have a feeling of "wah, i am so high demand in the working market meh? LOL" when talking to myself or is because there is less people want to work nowadays? (all people want become own boss?)

anyways, i think the reason i was "demanded" was because i have "blow too much water" (lied) when writing my resume using my past working experience of my ex-company that i contributed a lot of good result.
moreover, i think if i include my blog link inside my resume, i might be wanted if it is related to the "online marketing" field but i will never add in since my blog was quite private to share in the public.
in fact, i have a little regret now for "cheating" too much as it will only *sia sui" (embarrass) myself if i can't deliver what i promise in the marketing field.
furthermore, sister have helped me to find the courses that related with IT (Internet Technology) technical skills and the skills development road was map divided into four categories which is Client, Server, Database and Development as shown picture below.

it is because i a core technical skills can help you to build a sustainable career in the IT field.

basically the price of the course was ranged from RM2000 to RM20000 depending on which certificate you choose that start from Microsoft Certified Solution Associate (MCSA), Microsoft Certified Solution Developer (MCSD), Microsoft Certified Solution Expert (MCSE), Microsoft Certified Technology Specialist (MCTS), Microsoft Certified Professional Developer (MCPD) and Microsoft Certified Information Technology Professional (MCITP) program.
seriously i just feel frustrated once again because myself already knew that "marketing" is mostly depend on talking skills and it is not very demanded in the working market when compared with the technical skills.
moreover, i do asked myself why so "stubborn" to spend RM30,000 to complete the degree course in SHU upon approval which myself already know the working market is not all about certification.
perhaps the answer was my "face problem" that i want to proof that i am UK graduate too if i study there.

in addition, i just heard my brother's said about his previous manager earning about RM18,000+ a month in the Oil and Gas company with his degree certification but they need a lot of engineer qualification and don't need marketing people at all.
therefore if i ever get my degree, i think i "die die" also must target big multi national company (MNC) to work for no matter what to get my return of investment. (ROI)
somehow it seems to be the same keyword theory of "finding the rich" no matter it is people or company just like guys will join big rich company and girls will find rich guys to marry with.
anyways, feel free watch the "The Candidate" video from Heineken as shown below or the link >>> Here.

finally the winner was Guy Luchting to work in HEINEKEN HQ at Amsterdam when respond to extraordinary circumstances as he was enthusiasm, creativity, spontaneity and passion personalities.

around 7pm half of my mother's side relatives came and we have our dinner at 8pm.
then i just go upstair to rest since my sore throat still haven fully recovered but i had eaten a lot of fried food just now.
eventually i get asleep as i feel tired and woke up again at 11pm.
anyways, i do feel happy that i still have some "Angpao" (red packet) despite the Chinese New Year was almost coming to an end.
before i end my post, i would like to share an interesting topic about "I don't understand why people want to suicide, really no other solution" from the forum and below was the details of it.
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Instead of die straight away, why not run away and start a new life, maybe go to the place where nobody know you or can find you and start a new life there.

1) Run away as far as you can, possible overseas if you qualified, if cannot then find local place where nobody know or can find you.
2) Find new place to stay.
3) Cancel all your contact with your family, friends, colleague etc.
5) Forget everything about the past.
4) Find new job, find any job you qualified, lower your expectation. (possibly a job where can keep you busy all the time, overtime job will be perfect as long as the job can keep yourself busy the whole day, so you won't even have time to think about the past and makes you want to suicide again)
6) Start the whole new of you from here.
Better than suicide right?

At least now you still alive with new job, new friend and possibly with new partner and soon will have new family too.
__________________________________
therefore i just feel that finding motivation to survive is important when you get depressed in your life.
moreover, i was quite agree that "Everyone has their own problem but the fact that you didn't notice it because they seal their problem better than yours" which is quite true.
well, people who want to "die" when face with love problem was probably due to immaturity because they lack of proper upbringing as their parents never teach them about bees and butterfly story.
as for those who suffer from depression was because they are unhappy with their lives as it could be their disappointment for not attaining something in life.
however, talking and taking actions is totally two different things again.

in the end, yourself really need to find a goal or motivation about what you want to do or become in your life.
as for my sister, her motivation to continue to work was because she need to take care of her new born baby.
as for myself, my situation was still in "walk one step, see one step" (走一步，见一步) which means depend on the environment that happening around me to make a decision..
somehow i do wondering whether how long i can express my feeling with blogging as it seems like no long term goal.
perhaps my intention to continue writing this blog was to create a guidance to some Tarcian Junior for not following my mistaken footsteps as no one would really teach you when you're young. (I am already 23 years old from this moment of writing where i regret on "something", how great if i know all this things when i am 18 years old)
anyways, as long as i still alive, there is still hope and one of the reason to continue blog was to prove that i still living in the world despite so many years of whining in life.
=)

today i woke up at 11.35am.
well, today was known as Chap Goh Meh (元宵节) festival which represents the 15th and final day of the Lunar New Year celebrated by Chinese communities.
therefore would like to wish all of you to have a Happy Chap Goh Meh 2013 元宵节.
according to the olden days, this events was related with "Throwing Oranges Events" or known as "Pao Kam" in Cantonese language whereby the girls was allowed to go out home to pick the oranges that thrown out by mens from the nearby river together with their contact names.

moreover, it is consider as a Chinese version of Valentine's Day where it is an official day for any single girl or guy to find their partners.
anyways, i did not have any place to go for today since i myself have a low confidence in finding partner.

somehow i feel it is like doing yearly record of my life again when i check back my Chap Goh Meh 2012 post and it seems like i did not improve myself much despite one year have passed.
it is because until now i still haven able to "support" myself, how can i care for others people, yet still want to find a girlfriend? (自己都搞不定，怎样管别人?)
therefore i am agree with those older people saying that you must keep upgrade yourself in order to improve.
on the other hand, i think i should be thankful to God for giving me a "horny sex dream" with the girl i like although it was just a dream. (hopefully it will be longer dream next time~ LOL)
after that, i just have some biscuit as my breakfast and have some chat with my sister.
well, i was agree with my sister when discussing about the "police had arrested those people who bought baby as their children" as there was pros and cons.

for example, if think on the baby's point of view, some of their mother was raped by others people and hence selling their baby away.
so when the baby was bought by a rich family who can't able to produce baby, they might can provide an even better education and lifestyle for the baby but the police had arrested those parents who buy baby as their own children.
however, the disadvantage was it might encourage more kidnapper to kidnap new born baby to be sold to those rich people.
anyways, no people will really know who is right or wrong as there is so much things to be debate about.
during the afternoon, mother cooked some delicious meal as our lunch because we will be preparing to back KL to work.

well, i can't find back my 2012 post about "opening all Ang Pao event" as it was my yearly routine to count all the accumulated red packet money.
anyways, the total i get for this year was around RM900+ but have used all to pay the £300 pounds sterling deposit money for SHU application.
around 3pm i make a move from house and brother fetched me to Taman Paramount LRT.
when i reached there at 3.35pm, i took the train to Wangsa Maju LRT and arrived at 4.20pm.
somehow i keep reading the books that i borrowed from the library to "kill" my time.
finally i arrived my KL house at 4.40pm and went to wash my clothes.
after that, i keep on research some information and still finding the "Chinese keyword" for my working related task.

in fact, tomorrow was the deadline and i was quite worry because if i can't perform well to my Japanese boss, i might get "fired" (sack) by him.
so my "goal" for now is try to sustain myself as long as i can in the new company because i don't have much money left to survive in KL and i need the salary badly.
moreover, i told myself that "die die" also need come out with something to present tomorrow no matter what.
seriously working is not same as studying because if you can prepare well for your tutorial class in study, the worst case is being scold by tutor whereas if in working, the worst case is being sack by boss and this is a matter of "live or death" because you need money to survive.
therefore my task now was to "settle/satisfy whatever boss want me to do" and it had become my motivation to work.
around 9pm i went to have "Cincang ayam" (minced chicken) as my dinner despite the weather was still raining.
in addition, when looking those couple eating happily just now, it just remind me about the Chap Goh Meh festival out of sudden.

before i end my post, i would like to share an interesting video about "The Science of Pornography Addiction (SFW)" as below or the link >>> Here.

well, i was agree about what the video says regarding the organic chemical of Dopamine can make people addictive.
anyways, i don't really have much mood in watching porn because i have a very weird funny feelings that "No money lead to no motivation to chase girl, if no think about girl, how to think about porn?" thought.
~.~

today i woke up at 6.15am.
somehow i don't really sleep much because keep thinking about my working related stuff as i haven complete the "Chinese keyword" for advertisement.
besides, i was extremely tired because yesterday slept around 2am+ and just can keep hold myself thinking an "creative" idea for company's marketing plan.
around 7.40am i get myself prepared because wanted to finish the work at office.
well, it is quite "sucks" to wait for the bus during the morning as i have waited about 20 minutes and finally i arrived at Wangsa Maju LRT at 8.20am.
upon arrived at KL Sentral, i just went to buy the marble cake as my breakfast again since it was the most cheapest breakfast (RM1.40) available there.

as i arrive the office at 9am, it seems that my Japanese boss had arrived at the same time as me.
then i just continue my working related stuff before my superior arrive to check.
after that, it seems that there was a bunch of Japanese student came to visits our office and i also not sure why but my boss went to entertain them.
somehow i feel myself quite "pervert" when those Japanese girls (around 20++ people aged around 16~21+ years old) greetings "Konichiwa" all together which make me thought about those "Japan porn" as it sounds like "Kimochi" to me.
perhaps it is because i seldom can see a real Japanese girls and some of them really beautiful but my mind was quite "dirty" during that moment.
in addition, i just have a feelings of want to learn/study Japanese language at that time.

around 1pm i went to have my lunch at Burger King since there was having a RM5.95 promotion as it was consider cheaper than eating at Sooka Sentral.
during the evening, it was my most "scary moment" during the meeting because i was been question what i have done last week and i seems to be can't answer well.
moreover, i was stress again because this week is the "product launching" and i feel i can't reach the target as i need to gather around 900 register user and approximately 10,000 clicks for the "link" everyday for continuously a week.
seriously this feeling was not good because as "an experience employee" from my past experience, i want to find 100 real people via online also quite hard even though with advertising technique.
furthermore, my body seems to be automatically "shaky" as i don't have confidence can do it.

somehow i just remember what my father told me before about working for others people that "If a company can pay you an X amount of salary, they was expecting you can perform 3 to 10 times of the salary that they paid to you" which is so true.
therefore the worst case scenario for me is to get "fired" (sack) if i can't perform/deliver the result with my marketing plan and did feel "regret" to be consider as a experienced worker because i need to contribute more base on my past experience instead of learning from others people.
moreover, the feelings is like "being used" (被利用) as my value to the company is to provide useful information about online marketing method and i had already give up 80% of my knowledge.
in fact, i really keep remind myself don't give up no matter how hard it is because i don't want like last few week where i resign after worked 3 days at another company.

honestly, i admit that i have that kind of "crying feelings" which is quite immature/childish when facing stress/difficulties although i am a guy.
anyways, the thing to make myself to feel better is keep telling myself don't think a way of "losing" (不要怕吃亏) while contribute those knowledge that i experience from the past from ex-company.
around 7pm i make a move from there and to take train back Wangsa Maju.
while on the train, i feel that the only thing that can make me cheer/happy a bit was to see some beautiful girls around and i there is one office lady which i quite like whereby she have a cute big eyes and shorter than me.
when i reach Wangsa Maju, i just went to have my dinner at Kopitiam Desa and it seems that there was a lot of people every time as they have the cheapest fried noodles that cost only RM3 with some curry chicken and a cup of plain water.

well, i was trying my best to control my budget recently as i have the "poor feelings" despite i know it is bad to have such thought as for law of attraction. (so does that means that i need to keep tell myself that i am rich, very rich, very good, very happy, very handsome and all the positive stuff?)
in fact, i had "squeeze" from other extra source of income by transfering the Paypal money that i earned from "promoting" to my Maybank account and also the cash out Nuffnang payment button for this month although it is just very little (really very less loh) as you can see my previous record of total 4 years earning from it.
finally i arrived back home at 8.05pm and feel quite tired again as yesterday i only slept about 3 hour. (T.T)
actually one of the reason that i hardly sleep before 12am was because i need to update my daily life record into my blog.
sometime i do wondering does it necessary and the answer seems to be quite "blur" (not clear).

when further deeper asked myself whether does blogging benefits me, certainly it does such as expressing feeling but it tends to be too over and it seems like "blog whoring/attention whore" to someone.
however, it is quite weird because no people will "store the feelings until night time only release out" and this might explain why some guys choose smoking to release their stress because it is instant effect.
before i end my post, i would like to share an interesting video about "The Lego Story Short Film" as below or the link >>> Here.

basically the video was about the LEGO Group history from 1932 to 1968 in an animated short film while celebrating its 80th Birthday.
according to Wiki, Lego is a popular line of construction toys manufactured by The Lego Group, a privately held company based in Billund, Denmark.

the company's flagship product was Lego which consists of colourful interlocking plastic bricks and an accompanying array of gears, minifigures and various other parts that can be assembled and connected in many ways to construct objects such as vehicles, buildings and even working robots as shown toys below.

seriously the story was so inspiring and as it prove that perseverance, hardworking, passion and ability to take risk is the key to success in life.

however, when i looking back at myself, it seems that i have go into a wrong direction as i am working for others people instead of building something for myself if i want to be success.

one thing i feel that is quite true that each generation will continue be better if you keep focus on your core business no matter it is family business or any others.
furthermore, my friend do told me before a family business fail usually due to being cheated or go gambling.

it is because when one generation dies, they will reimbursed with insurance money that will pass to their son to start business and each when the son's die, the asset will pass to the next generation which show that why people will become richer and richer.
on the other hand, it seems that no use to envy other people filthy rich asset or compare myself with them because it will only make myself suffer more in the end of the day.
so if they want to be "lansi" (mean) that they have sport car to drive, earning RM10,000+ salary, have tons of property, it is totally up to them. (you can say that i am a loser for saying such things but it's okay for me)

at last, i still having the frustrated feelings because i feel myself was incapable to perform the marketing task for my new company and i seems like waiting to be sack since it was a "result oriented" performance.

anyways, i keep remind myself to think positive when compared with yesterday whereby better than being an "emos" guy right?
=)

today i woke up at 7.40am.
then i quickly get myself prepared to work.
around 8.45am i reached KL Sentral and went to Mc Donalds to buy the RM4 breakfast set as it has been a long time i did not eat such "luxury" food as for my current financial situation.
after that, i continue to do my working related stuff as usual.
seriously i did want to talk something about my work but i can't because afraid of being "searched" as it was related to some e-commerce business.
honestly, i admit that i have a low confident for the "product" launching tomorrow as it is something like finding around 900 real online person to "participate" something out of 10000 clicks from various type out source. (don't know how i can find so much clicks for continuously 7 days)

it is because if i really can find 900 people's online, i will be success no matter what business i go in just like meet up with 900 different people in real to sell house, car or insurance, there will be at least 1% will buy it.
moreover, it is similar with the "probability" theory that i keep said from last time as if you apply the theory to "chase" girls, there will be at least 10 people out of 500 girl's you meet will go out with you.
in addition, Tan Sri Dato' Seri Vincent Tan Chee Yioun also said before that "If you ask 10 girls to go out with you, no matter how ugly you are, I bet you that one will say yes to you" that can prove it right.

anyways, i think the reason i keep whining all the time was because i can't get the things other's people have.

when asked myself deeply about my own answer, it seems that i did not pay much effort like those successful people do to earn money as i did wondered about why some girls can buy a LV bag for RM3,000 which even more than my monthly salary.

around 12.30pm i followed my colleagues to somewhere near Jalan Dewan Sultan Sulaiman to have Kin Kin Chilli Pan Mee (建记辣椒板面) as our lunch.

somehow i think i shouldn't answer them the noodles's taste was just "okay okay" only as a colleagues said it is like an insult although he might be joking about it.

actually the reason i said so might because of the price was expensive (RM12) to pay for each of us.

perhaps i should learn how to "be human" (做人) by giving out positive feedback no matter what.

during the evening, there was a "lion dance" celebration for Chinese New Year at the ground floor of my company as there was a lot of people but we did not go for the "free food" as we still need to work.

besides, i still haven complete my "keyword ads" but need to make a move around 7pm since most of the people have went back home.

around 7.30pm i reached Wangsa Maju LRT but the Kopitiam Desa did not open today.

then i just went to the nearby stall and have "Wan Tan Mee" (noodles) as my dinner.

finally i arrived back home at 8.10pm.

somehow my sister asked me to check whether i received RM250 "Bantuan Rakyat 1 Malaysia (BRIM) 2.0" which is the financial cash aid support from the government.

after i check on their official website, it seems that i was not approved for the application as i get the "tidak melepasi semakan agensi lain?" message as shown picture below.

when i further find out the reason, it seems that it might because i was approved for the RM250 book voucher since i went to Tarc repeat last year.

moreover, i do recall how i spend my RM200 book voucher at Borders last year.

anyways, below was the requirement to apply for the BRIM 2.0 fund.

________________________________________

Household who are eligible for RM500 cash:

(i) Malaysian citizen.

(ii) Men and women which is parents who live together with a monthly gross income of households RM3,000 or below.

> Married.

> Mother or father single with dependents aged 20 years and below.

> Single with dependents aged 20 years and below (in the same house).

(iii) Elderly people (aged 60 years and over, born in 1953 and younger) with gross income RM3, 000 and below.

Individuals who are eligible RM250 cash:

(i) Malaysian citizen.

(ii) Single (including Widow / Divorced / Widowed) who have no dependents, aged 21 years and older (born in 1992 and below) with a total gross monthly income of RM2, 000 and below.

• Does not include students who receive 1 Malaysia Book Voucher.

• Only successful applicants will be eligible to claim payment.

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somehow i just feel it is better to get cash rather than book voucher for student.

anyways, i think the only way for student to exchange their book voucher to real cash is find someone who want to buy books and they help them to pay for the books that those people buy.

please tell me too if you have any other ways to turn the voucher into cash.

during the night, i was facing frustration again as the "ads" haven ready yet and facing a difficulties that related to "blxgger" as i was like zero knowledge in it.

in fact, i was like don't know anything about "blxg" strategy despite myself keep writing everyday. (i can't include the promote link in my blog as i want to stay private and it is no pay also if i include)

at last, i had got some feedback from the forum as shown below and it was quite contradict.
_________________________________________
1) Comment A : I think you don't have enough jealousy and hatred in you to be a successful. You need those two to lay foundation to your success. Oh, and plagiarize. Being original is moot nowaday. You also need to back stab people more and eliminate your rival methodically. Remove honesty from your soul, its useless in today society. Learn to manipulate people and learn the art of forceful persuasion. Kindness is dead in this new age. So, adopt ruthlessness and calculated thinking.

2) Comment B : Just remember those two golden sentences.

a) You should envy somebody because he donates his wealth.

b) You should envy somebody because he shares his knowledge with everybody.

_________________________________________

somehow no people would really know the truth as both of it have their point of view too.

on the other hand, i still haven "solve" my company's problem as it is a matter of "live and death" where the i might be "fired" (sack) if the marketing activities did not work out to find 900+ online people everyday.
seriously this feelings is like "crying" but i keep told myself to hold on as i need the salary badly to survive.
sometime it seems to be good to be crony where you can get a lot of benefits when you keep support the government as you don't need to do much things.
in fact, i do saw those political news about how government "simply spend" the people's money but it seems to be all about surviving skills in real life at the end.
during the midnight, i can't focus well as i just sleep few hours recently and just "emo" when listening to the "Sha Zi Lin You Jia 傻子林宥嘉" song as shown below.

anyways, i like the Lego Story video so much as it can cheer myself to be happy a bit when facing obstacle.
=D

today i woke up at 7.25am.
well, my head was quite headache because i did not sleep well yesterday as the time was almost 2.30am, yet i am trying so hard to sleep.
anyway, i just quickly get myself prepared because today was the official day for the "product" launching.
around 8.20am i reached KL Sentral and just went to office although the working hour start at 9.30am.
then i just have some biscuit that i brought from house as my breakfast to save some $$.
during the morning, i just spend most of my time create "awareness+ads" and it my brain was almost "burst" as i had used a lot of "brain juice" with mental thought to think about those keywords.
around 1pm i walked to somewhere near Brickfield and have my lunch at Sin Kee restaurant which is a chinese+western type of restaurant.

actually i have been walked around that Brickfield area but couldn't find any other Chinese food.
somehow i just feel the food at the restaurant can consider as quite expensive where the cheapest one also cost about RM8 and i ordered the "Beehon" noodles soup.
after that, i just continue most of my promotion stuff but it seems that the "product" got some problem.
moreover, i can say it is totally very hard to promote or "find online customer" if you did not spend any money on different advertising channel.
in fact, another superior keep remind me about the goal of my task was to spend RMX,XXX to earn back RMXX,XXX money within 1 week which i feel very hard.
it is because the "product" faced some technical problem and it seems to be not attractive but as an employee, i can't say such thing to my boss as he might say it is your problem for not able to achieve it.

honestly, i do have a feeling that i might become another "dead goat" to cover someone fault as if this marketing plan not works or effective enough, i am the one who get the blame right?
around 7.10pm i make a move from office and reached Wangsa Maju at 7.45pm.
then i just have my dinner at Kopitiam Desa and it only cost me RM2.50 for my meal tonight.
finally arrived back home at 8.15pm and feeling was quite tired again.
somehow i would like to share a meaningful video about "What most schools don't teach" as shown below or the link >>> Here.

the sentences that i like from the video was "Everybody in this country should learn how to program a computer, because it teaches you how to think" and it might be true that leaning programming coding is a new "superpower" that isn't being taught in 90% of US schools.

furthermore, the video have famous people such as Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Will.i.am, Chris Bosh, Jack Dorsey, Tony Hsieh, Drew Houston, Gabe Newell, Ruchi Sanghvi, Elena Silenok, Vanessa Hurst, and Hadi Partovi although i don't know who for some of the people mentioned.
guess it might be true that 1 million of the best jobs in America may go unfilled, because only 1 in 10 schools teach students how to code.
somehow i do feel quite "sucks" again to be in the marketing and e-commerce field instead of programming because i feel that marketing is a knowledge that anyone can learn within few days instead of need to spend so many years to study about it.
moreover, the "marketing" tends to be having not much value unless you're a boss of your company instead of working for others people.

actually i did count my time precisely everyday about how i spend it and it seems that i spend almost 12 hours a day for my company stuff and still think about it even i went back home.
however, i still use the computer when i reach home instead of staying away from it where i can say i faced the computer screen for almost 16 hour everyday which is like no life.
in fact, if you worked in the e-commerce field for others people, it tends to be having not much time as your boss wish you can still work when you back home.
anyways, i would like to share another inspiring video about "Nicholas Tse, Founder and CEO of Post Production Office, on Leadership" as shown below or the link >>> Here.

the words that i feel most meaningful was "the thing about creative thinking is, it is all you, it is no one else, no one can take that away from you" which is so true.

therefore it is for you to say yes or no, how or when, where and why that is your label forever and ever.
seriously before this today mood was having those negative such as "frustrated until wanna die" but keep remind/told myself that "Wahlau lonelyreload, you haven try all the wonderful thing that happens in the world yet, how can you die so fast?" in life.
in addition, what i really want was to hope that at least got a little people "concern" about me and this theory is just same as when a husband back from work, he just hope that his wife will concern about him and that's was all enough for all the hard work that he done.
furthermore, life have too much story to hear and listen which i feel it might the main reason i feel frustrated.
for example, how i able to write so much everyday was all because i have written a short note in my phone about those keywords.

then when want to write it back, it was quite difficulties to link it back as there was too much of thought i have such as "how to create a unique viral marketing technique was to create some too over news like eating human meat experience as if you can write until very real, sure will get viral or talk very bad about how to kill 1000 people and etc" which is all about TOO EXTREME/UNIQUE/SPECIAL topic for people to believe.
another thing i do was i no longer able to go watch movie at cinema such at TGV KLCC every Wednesday although there have promotion.
furthermore, i still haven get this month salary after giving out information and asked myself so fast want to quit?
perhaps it is all about my own personal problem instead of other's people when working.
anyways, i think our government will give out more Bantuan Rakyat 1 Malaysia (BRIM) 2.0 money to get more votes for this coming election.
at last, i would like to share a meaningful picture about "give a man a fish, you feed him for a day, teach a man how to fish, you feed him for a lifetime" as below.

today i woke up at 7.50am.
then i quickly get myself prepared and took the bus to work.
during the moment at the train, i listened a couple's story again about their friend (age around 30) who worked as a salesman only earn about RM2,000 salary and will get RM3,000 per month if he hit the sales target of RM10,000.
moreover, the company will only pay him RM550 instead of RM1100 for the commission part at the same month because need to check as the another RM550 will only credited to him after 4 month.
then the girl shared another story about someone around 40 years old+ only earn about RM3,500 due to no degree certificate.
somehow i was quite agree with them saying that working for people is just depend of luck. (打工看命水)

it is because if you will never know whether you will meet a good boss or not but you still have a choice to leave the company if you're not desperate for money.
honestly, i just feel that when i am alone, i tends to listen more and more about other people story.
actually there is an advantage when listened to other people story because it might help you to foresee/forecast something that haven happen if you face a similar situation.
however, i seems to be still changed not much after listened so much of story.
seriously everyday i did asked myself about what is my goal of life as i already seen so many example of life from other's people sharing.
guess all the while i only know how to "emo" and whining when ask myself such question which is quite helpless partly because i haven step out of my comfort zone?

in fact, the reason i having the "jelly" feeling was because i always see so much successful and rich people around me where they tends to be so "Ho Seh" (great lifestyle) despite many people say that it is so hard to earn money.
besides, i don't qualify to criticize any company not good as myself also not consider as good staff.
anyways, my mindset at this moment was to get my salary first before i "die" at next month.
after worked quite "stress" at the morning, we went to have our lunch at "Meals station" in the Sooka Sentral.
somehow i did have a "funny thought" as the noodles soup cost about RM8 but the ingredient was like the RM1 for 3 pieces fishball at Pasar Malam, a plain soup and "few kuay tiao" noodles.
upon back office, i just listened some colleague's experience at Japan tokyo where they was having a high standard of living if you work at there.

for example, the average salary of a Japan's office worker like us would be cost about RM10,000 to RM14,000 per month but the rental fee was almost 400$ USD per month.
moreover, the petrol fee at Japan seems to be so expensive as it cost about RM900 to pump a full tank as told by the Japanese boss.
however, they was consider as a very developed country where nothing much has changed since they have finish build all those good system such as LRT during the 1980+ year.
somehow i just feel a little "emos" as i don't really have much thing to share as i still haven travel to other country and what i know was always listen to other people story instead of experienced it myself.

during the afternoon, it is time for us to collect our monthly salary although i just started to work last week and the amount i received was even less that the total "Angpao" money i get from Chinese New Year.

honestly, my feelings now was quite "sucks" as i seems to be can't reach the company's target as they want about 900+ online people everyday but the fact that the user for registration seems to be less than 100 people per day.
therefore i might just get fired soon as "marketing" seems to be doing nothing much around and this feeling is totally not good to think about.
around 6.50pm i make a move from office and too the LRT back to Wangsa Maju.
then i just have my dinner at Kopitiam Desa again and there was a lot of people queue up.
finally i arrived back home at 8.20pm and it was quite tiring.
over time, i found myself express more and more negative stuff as there seems to be so many problems arise and i think it is because i am too busy body?

for example, below was the few news or things that i want to talk about but no time to further explain.
______________________________________

1) Malaysia Social Media Week (MSMW) got blogger event but i did not join yet they invited me as i request whether need to pay $$ or not to attend last time.
2) Heart feeling "pain" when i saw some of my friend "tag" her name which i know totally no related to me as it was just my "sudden thought" as i don't have any girl to think about.
3) Cyberjaya unused flyover bridge collapsed although no one hurt but i feel the story related to crony things.

4) Chief Minister of Sarawak which is Abdul Taib Mahmud seems to be the richest people in Malaysia despite he was just a minister, make people feel suspicious.
5) Our local government tends to be so "funny" when handling the Lahad Datu case because it looks like a tactical strategy to scare those Sabahans into voting them in the 13th general election.

6) A colleague already told me that learning programming is not hard as long as you take action to start it immediately instead of just keep talking want to learn. (know the cost was about RM10,000 for learning codes from scratch, but facing decision to spend RM30,000 at SHU UK)
7) While chatting more with "prostitute blogger review", my heart tends to become a little influence by him but i keep told myself to not think about it. (still chatting with him recently and he seems to be so mature when giving me advice on something~ >.<)
______________________________________
besides, i received an offer from someone to buy my Top Banner Ads 728x90 but i seems to refuse to accept as it something related to MLM/direct sales business.
maybe i should just accept it since i am "very poor" now as this might prove a thing that people will change to become cruel due to the surroundings.

at last, i would share a meaningful video that title "Saya Anak Malaysia (我是马来西亚的孩子)" by Germani if you understand Malay language but there's English subtitles as below or the link >>> Here.

well, it is quite true that everything increase but not the salary increase in Malaysia after 10 years.
anyways, i do like Malaysia very much and proud to say that "Saya Anak Malaysia Blogger" but i afraid i might change this statement in future.
in fact, the reason i keep maintain my blog was just to keep track of myself that i am still who i am at this moment of writing.
in conclusion, i still think about the yesterday post from Nicholas Tse sharing when he say "i think passion, ultimately you've got to be really really honest to yourself, what you like the most" which related to creativity.
i really like to blog about my life but it would be just a remain as a hobby and i think i am honest enough to express what i feel about life.
=D

Father Side Reunion Dinner 2013 Chinese New Year Eve

Happy Chinese New Year 2013

The Wedding Diary 2 Movie Review 2013 (结婚那件事之后)

Da Sa Rang Korean BBQ Restaurant Subang

Qu Wan Ting Cheng Ren 曲婉婷承認

Happy Valentines Day 2013

Secondary Classmate Reunion Dinner 2013

Loneliness VS Masturbation

Very Poor Feelings (穷到死)

First Day Working Games Industry

Harlem Shake Trends

People Buy Things For Reasons

It Is Good To Be Boss Than An Employee

How Much More I Can Express My Feelings?

Finding Motivation To Survive

Happy Chap Goh Meh 2013 元宵节快乐

The Lego Story Short Film

Bantuan Rakyat 1 Malaysia (BRIM) 2.0 Cash Aid 2013

Things That Most Schools Don't Teach

Saya Anak Malaysia Blogger